NuevoYorko Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 The reason I even address this point in this thread is that pretty much every single girl I went to high school with, all around the age of 40 and up, if they are single, they act like this. They come off as bitter, desperate and undateable and any decent guy out there will keep them at a safe distance. Oh, they might hit them up for a good time but they will leave every time in favor of someone less dramatic. Do you really think it's a woman thing though. I'm old; I date, I've found many women in my dating age range who I consider "undateable" because of the way they handle their baggage. Definitely a lot of bitterness and lack of accountability for where they're at in their lives. Not so much DTF but certainly looking for a man to solve their unhappiness for them. I am now exclusively dating a woman who is 47. We sometimes share stories about our "dating as old people" experiences. She has plenty of them that show that the old man dating pool is just as teeming with bad prospects, for similar reasons. Once you've lived long enough, you have baggage. It's about how you handle it. Same for men as women IMO. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted April 13, 2019 Share Posted April 13, 2019 This thread has over 200 posts. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 (edited) Once you've lived long enough, you have baggage. It's about how you handle it. Same for men as women IMO. Yeah true , of course we all collect stuff it's life. l don't date guys though haha , so l don't know , but l know single men , and single women , and the guys aren't bad and are basically together, not rattle headed like a lot of the women , they just aren't looking for something. But l got all the stories back when meeting women too, Some of them were sensible and legit , but many too just b@tched on , where as from the outside l could see very easily the main problem was he simply just wasn't that interested in most cases , and l could see why he wasn't. So he got dragged through the mud and all men were just ah's and this and that and on and on. Where as from the more sensible and still together mentally ones that were smart and good women they tended to have far more sensible and understanding stories . They'd sought out real relationships and knew how to go about it with decent men. So the sort of men they met were usually similar too and from them it was far far less bitterness stuff and more sensible real stuff. Like they just couldn't work it out for different reasons, or he just wasn't sure how he felt but he was a good man , or she wasn't sure , or kids or something or other.All things that just go with meeting new people. Although my gf said most of them did just wanna sleep with ya and weren't interested in a relationship. But she's extra hot and l can well understand why she had that problem haha. Edited April 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Do you really think it's a woman thing though. ... Definitely a lot of bitterness and lack of accountability ... Same for men as women IMO. You're right, of course. I believe that this is specific to some individuals, regardless of gender. The lack of accountability for personal problems, such as relationship problems, could lead to assigning outward blame, sometimes to the entire opposite gender. To be happy, I believe it is critically important to understand how one's own actions affect their life. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 (edited) I believe it is critically important to understand how one's own actions affect their life. "a poor craftsman blames his tools" TFY Edited April 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 (edited) Yes, but some in this world have been gifted some very poor quality tools to work with in the dating game. Edited April 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 (edited) I think you meant these craftsmen have been gifted with very little talent to do their craft. The tools in this analogy are the people of the opposite gender (i.e., your potential dating pool). Edited April 14, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyLibertyBelle Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 Well this thread has gone on! I’ve just now caught up because I’ve been sick and battling pneumonia but was glad to read this lively thread today. I don’t do social media so I don’t know what DMT means if anyone wants to share? People and their “tools” and “crafts” are interesting theories. We all are born with a hand of cards we don’t get to choose, it’s what a person does with what they are born with and what they accomplish with their spirit and constitution that counts to me. If we look at history, it’s not the most beautiful people that generally lived the most extraordinary lives, it’s the people with the most soul, the most spirit and the most interesting to be around. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I think you meant these craftsmen have been gifted with very little talent to do their craft. The tools in this analogy are the people of the opposite gender (i.e., your potential dating pool). Not really.... True craftsmen turn chicken shyt into chicken salad-no matter what they have to work with....Others sit around and make excuses about how they couldn't succeed because they "didn't have the right tools"... Its about what you make of who you are... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 My opinion of women who are 40 or over....hmmm...well, if I was still dating I certainly wouldn't waste my time - they'd definitely be pushed to the back burner. I have never in my life fel turned on by an older woman, even when they have been younger than me. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 The tools in this analogy are the people of the opposite gender I would say that for "a poor craftsman blames his tools", as applied to dating and bitterness, poor tools could represent a character flaw of the bitter person. The character flaw being an inability to take responsibility for his or her own actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 I think you meant these craftsmen have been gifted with very little talent to do their craft. The tools in this analogy are the people of the opposite gender (i.e., your potential dating pool). I think the tools in this analogy refers to the personal skillset of the craftsmen. A person who's got their stuff together is far more dateable than those who lack social skills or who are otherwise a mess and can't figure out why they can't meet someone. I simply do not believe that someone who's chronically single is doing everything right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Unless they want to be chronically single. Then maybe they’re doing everything right. I bask in my singledom. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 True craftsmen turn chicken shyt into chicken salad-no matter what they have to work with... Its about what you make of who you are... Yes but the ability to turn "chicken shyt into chicken salad" is not a universal gift. Some can do that, some will never be able to do that. Truth is some have been gifted poor quality tools AND are also poor craftsmen... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 I think the tools in this analogy refers to the personal skillset of the craftsmen. A person who's got their stuff together is far more dateable than those who lack social skills or who are otherwise a mess and can't figure out why they can't meet someone. I simply do not believe that someone who's chronically single is doing everything right. The tools should be about one’s dating skillset. But here people are blaming the whole opposite gender (women blaming all men, men blaming all women) for their lack of dating success, instead of blaming their inadequate skillset. Perhaps a better analogy is “A poor craftsman blames the materials he’s working on.” Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 The tools should be about one’s dating skillset. But here people are blaming the whole opposite gender (women blaming all men, men blaming all women) for their lack of dating success, instead of blaming their inadequate skillset. Perhaps a better analogy is “A poor craftsman blames the materials he’s working on.” Oh yes, I see what you're getting at now. Exactly right you are. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Indeed Grace. I should have said "unwillingly single people". Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 The tools should be about one’s dating skillset. But here people are blaming the whole opposite gender (women blaming all men, men blaming all women) for their lack of dating success, instead of blaming their inadequate skillset. Perhaps a better analogy is “A poor craftsman blames the materials he’s working on.” Doesn't matter what they are blaming, the reality is that instead of using what they have to make the best "them" they could be, they blame their failures on other stuff...It could be their weight, their height, the fact that they need to move to find a mate, they are too smart, make too much money, are too much of a good guy and should be more like a dick... You get the picture.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) lmo , best thing a woman can do for herself later in life is to not forget she's a female , hold on to her femininity and stay grounded, warmth, personality. Men love that stuff it's what we look for . So many get hard and skewy in the head and let themselves go and seem to forget all about femininity, they even cut their hair off and start looking like men or their husbands. YOu know if you wanna talk tools , those things are her tools but so many seem to let themselves lose that as they get older and don't seem to even realize it. But l know lm gonna regret coming back to this thread Edited April 16, 2019 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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