GentleLioness Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Am looking for some thoughts. There's a guy at work, a first actually, who's caught my interest. He's entertaining and certainly keeps me on my toes. Problem, besides the obvious, is his reputation as a womanizer. Not sure if the potential he's being genuine is worth the risks. I know people who met their spouses through work so know it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 How I look at that is he's being called a womanizer because he has a good personality and isn't afraid to interact with women and is charming. So while he may or may not be a womanizer at heart, he is sought after and has many options. Obviously, you know the pitfalls of dating someone at work. You get a crush and go on a date, and then he move on to the next woman at work or in his real life and you're butthurt and either can't get over him because you see him every day or you won't give up on hoping he'll come around again and get stuck, or you become very awkward and embarrassed and wish to avoid him but cannot. So give some thought to what you want most, this job, or a run at this popular guy. Because it will make work unpleasant pretty much no matter what happens. Even if you become a couple, he will likely still flex his charm at other women at work and you'll hate that all around. If you decide it's worth it to sacrifice your serenity at work, I'm not discouraging you from a guy who might be a lot of fun. I'm not necessarily believing he's a genuine womanizer because I knew one who was very sought after but wasn't really taking advantage of it nearly to the extent he could have in the swinging 1970s. Some people perceived as womanizers simply have a lot of options and take them. What I learned from the one I knew is not to chase and he'll be more interested. Just be nice and friendly and interesting, but don't go seeking attention from him. If he's that successful with women and has that good of a personality, he'll likely at some point get tired of women coming on to him and it's blatantly transparent that's what they're doing when you are that attractive. It happens all the time. So my advice is don't be that woman unless you just want a quickie. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 If his reputation has been earned, he is playing you like the rest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GentleLioness Posted April 6, 2019 Author Share Posted April 6, 2019 How I look at that is he's being called a womanizer because he has a good personality and isn't afraid to interact with women and is charming. So while he may or may not be a womanizer at heart, he is sought after and has many options. Obviously, you know the pitfalls of dating someone at work. You get a crush and go on a date, and then he move on to the next woman at work or in his real life and you're butthurt and either can't get over him because you see him every day or you won't give up on hoping he'll come around again and get stuck, or you become very awkward and embarrassed and wish to avoid him but cannot. So give some thought to what you want most, this job, or a run at this popular guy. Because it will make work unpleasant pretty much no matter what happens. Even if you become a couple, he will likely still flex his charm at other women at work and you'll hate that all around. If you decide it's worth it to sacrifice your serenity at work, I'm not discouraging you from a guy who might be a lot of fun. I'm not necessarily believing he's a genuine womanizer because I knew one who was very sought after but wasn't really taking advantage of it nearly to the extent he could have in the swinging 1970s. Some people perceived as womanizers simply have a lot of options and take them. What I learned from the one I knew is not to chase and he'll be more interested. Just be nice and friendly and interesting, but don't go seeking attention from him. If he's that successful with women and has that good of a personality, he'll likely at some point get tired of women coming on to him and it's blatantly transparent that's what they're doing when you are that attractive. It happens all the time. So my advice is don't be that woman unless you just want a quickie. Ya went and put words in my mouth. He's not popular nor exactly sought after cause of his reputation. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 He's not popular nor exactly sought after cause of his reputation. If he's neither, how is he a womanizer? Sometimes office gossip has a life of its own, totally unrelated to reality. Given people's interest in discussing him, the usual cautions about dating someone at work probably apply in spades here... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted April 6, 2019 Share Posted April 6, 2019 Am looking for some thoughts. There's a guy at work, a first actually, who's caught my interest. He's entertaining and certainly keeps me on my toes. Problem, besides the obvious, is his reputation as a womanizer. Not sure if the potential he's being genuine is worth the risks. I know people who met their spouses through work so know it happens. His reputation as a womanizer based on whose opinion? Some women? All the women in the office? Some men? All the men? How long have you worked there? Are you new? Why the sudden interest? Has he made himself more noticeable to you? Has he given you more attention recently? What's changed in his life that you know about? Do you know for a fact if he's dated or fooled around with anyone from work, or was it always harmless (or not) banter or flirtation that didn't go anywhere? Link to post Share on other sites
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