Ex and Friend

[notthatintome]

I was with my ex for 3 years and we lived together for a year. In the last 4 months of our relationship we had some terrible rows. I even suspect he met someone weeks before we broke up but I can't be sure. Our break up was not a good one and we did not speak at all afterwards. I was really upset and knew I could not see him otherwise I would never get over him. He seemed to be ok and move on easily finding a relationship literally moments after we split. He said he loved me as a person but was not in love with me. He also mentioned he was just a little bit sad over the split. I was devastated.

 

 

I knew I had to get over him so I went on a online dating site as a little distraction. I met someone who I quite liked but as the conversations rolled on it turned out to be one of of my exes mates (I didn't know this friend as I had never met him, or even knew what he looked like). I said it was best not to see each other again and I kept this up for a few weeks. But he was persistent and in the end i relented, after all I did like him.

 

 

 

I bumped into my ex and i mentioned i was hanging out with his friend. He seemed to be a bit funny about it (as expected) but wasn't angry or anything. He started ignoring his friend and things were awkward.

 

 

 

A couple of months later I bump into my ex again. He seemed happy to talk to me. Apparently he has not been speaking to his friend. After he saw me, he called a mutual friend asking what was happening between me and his friend. He claimed he didn't mind that we were seeing each other but would like his friend to be a gentleman and ask him if he minded/gain permission. He said he didn't want it to be awkward. He went on to mention he was happy with his new girlfriend. I was a little perplexed about this - why did he care so much and why does he think I am his property still (if you know what i mean)

 

 

 

I really don't feel comfortable with the situation. Since bumping into my ex it has ignited old feelings. I haven't given myself enough time. What was supposed to be a casual rebound fling to get over my ex has turned into a tricky situation. I have tried to call it off with the new guy/friend but we seem to always find each other again.

 

 

I am also sad my ex didn't care and still doesn't care. Its silly because I haven't even thought about it up until I bumped into him.

 

 

I feel quite depressed about it all.

 

 

 

Thoughts welcomed...

[preraph]

He's not out of line just because he doesn't like that you and his friend complicated things by getting together. It's a bad thing to do. It doesn't mean you're his property. It means things will be awkward with his friend and he's probably wondering how long his friend has his eye on you while you were off the market being with him. So it destroyed his friendship and now even if he wanted to be friends with the guy, you'd be part of the package, and he doesn't want to have to deal with seeing you around all the time like that.

 

You and his friend crossed a line that simply complicates things socially and he's the one who loses in that deal. It doesn't mean he still wants you.