Approaching for Romance

[Mysterio]

So how do you ladies that are single here or even if you are attached. How do you think the men should be approaching women for romantic relationships. Keep in mind I am just stating the initial approch, not an all out Romantic bluntness.

 

As a guy. I think all men should be dressed and groomed well for the most part. Don't bother being dishevelled while doing it.

 

For me I just ask out for lunch and I have to at least have interacted with the woman at least 3 times before I would say lets get together. So I guess a woman in your social environment would work better than some stranger. Another thing as well. When women are asked out. To me they are not really thinking about dating or being with a man. My buddy MO's wife MM. She said she had no romantic intentions towards him at all. She was sort of pushed into him by co-workers.

 

What do you think works best from your observations.

Edited April 7, 2019 by Mysterio

[oceanblue12]

(male perspective)

Shouldn't romance simply evolve over a period of time?

As opposed to being the initial thought?

[chillii]

Well, imo nope , that wouldn't be a good way to go. Personally l think if you can't see that and long term or even marriage from day one with the person you go after , then just forget it.

That doesn't guarantee it's all going to work out that way , but to me that's the only place to start.

 

Well , if it's a long term or marriage you want anyway.

[Mysterio]

I guess it depends on what age you’re at. I am 48. I don’t have any current desire to have kids. Yes I have my lists on how things should be. I am just curious on how ladies liked to be approached.

[losangelena]

I’d like to be approached like in any other situation. With respect and with a sense that the man is interested in more than just sex/my body/his needs.

 

I’d say that’s a good place to start.

[Mysterio]

When I see a woman that I am attracted to. I think of her like this at once. Interesting conversations and laughs. Doing something social and recreational with her. Making out/Making love to her. Also, he desiring that from me as well.

 

If I am not thinking that. I am not looking at her romantically.

[Mysterio]

I would like to add another thing. From a mans perspective. If all a man wants is sex. There are Hookers/FWB and Escorts. If we men are asking you out on a date. 90 % of the time from my view. Its purely to see if there is any chemistry beyond physical looks.

 

For me. I am not just going to ask out a woman to only have sex with her. I can't even see that happening with ease. Most women are not wired that way. Unless the chemistry is already there anyways.

[preraph]

Whatever the situation, just talk to her like she's a person and see if you have anything in common or how a simple conversation goes. One easy way for socially busy (usually younger) people to make a first move is to invite her and her friends to a party. Then at the party, you talk to her and see how things go. Inviting people you barely know to a party is an easy way to bring them into your social circle so that you'll see more of them.

[snowcones]

I do think men should look their best when approaching for romance. Frankly, I don't think men pay enough attention to that. Next he should talk to her respectfully but not be mousy or weak. Have conversations with her and try to establish a connection. Refrain from negativity, anger and insults. Just talk like normal people and try to be interesting and interested. Keep things progressing forward, by flirting, asking her out and making moves when the moment is right, rather than lingering in a friendzone. There is a degree of intuition, reading signs and instincts that govern this that can't be taught or explained. It can be learned though with experience if you don't have it naturally.

[Mysterio]

People are always in categories. Strangers/Acquaintances/Friends/Close Friends and lovers.

 

For me. I always second guess myself. The only way anything works for me is when I don't care and am not trying to romantically attract a woman.

 

I can't understand why friendships always seem to work out more than romantic prospects.

[chillii]

People sometimes have their areas l find, most are ok at both but not everyone.

Me l'm not that good with friends , l dunno , something always happens or they or l move away.

l give up these days.

But l've always been good romantically.

[snowcones]

People are always in categories. Strangers/Acquaintances/Friends/Close Friends and lovers.

 

For me. I always second guess myself. The only way anything works for me is when I don't care and am not trying to romantically attract a woman.

 

I can't understand why friendships always seem to work out more than romantic prospects.

 

 

I don't know you, but I'm guessing there must be something about you that makes women want to be friends with you, but you are not stirring up their desire to want to be romantic/sexual with you. Yes, there have been a few women who have approached you first, who saw something in you and made them feel romantic/sexual towards you, but I'm guessing that it is a weak trait of yours, and that is why most women, especially those you become friends with, don't see it. Maybe you can read up on what masculine traits makes women want to jump a man. What traits make women want to mate with a man and pair up with him. And before you ask, I can't answer these questions. lol You'll have to read up on it. I was just giving my opinion and taking a shot at answering. I may not respond further.

[snowcones]

People sometimes have their areas l find, most are ok at both but not everyone.

Me l'm not that good with friends , l dunno , something always happens or they or l move away.

l give up these days.

But l've always been good romantically.

 

 

One might be good at one or the other naturally, but I think both are important.

[Gretchen12]

 

The only way anything works for me is when I don't care and am not trying to romantically attract a woman.

 

 

What do you do differently when you are trying to attract a woman? Are you nervous? You're 48 so I'm guessing not TOO nervous. To answer your original question, what works for me is when I see that the man likes being himself, and he makes his intentions clear.