guest569 Posted April 8, 2019 Share Posted April 8, 2019 I think I'm still a tad heartbroken, and it's been more than 5 years since the love of my life ditched me! I still think of him and ask myself WHYYYYYYYYYY. Why did he go away? Why wasn't I good enough? What the hell happened? Who the hell am I? I still think we were such a great couple and would have had a happy life together. Whys and what ifs, and if onlys. We might have been married with a kid by now. Not sure if I would want that, with him maybe I would have. In general, hell no. I am way over my ex that I broke up with 3 years ago.. and the one from last year still hurts. But my first heartbreak is the most painful. I still love him and miss him all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Tonk Posted April 8, 2019 Share Posted April 8, 2019 I totally hear you, you never forget them especially the true loves. But don't dwell on it, just learn from it and consider that it's contributed to making you the person you are today. Ready for new challenges and better able to deal with relationships than before. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren87 Posted April 8, 2019 Share Posted April 8, 2019 That’s what I’m now terrified of. It’s been 4 months since she dumped me & I still think of her 90% of the day every day. Am I going to be stood at the alter in years to come thinking “I wish it was her I was marrying”? I’ve done everything ‘right’ - didn’t make a scene during the breakup, accepted it, when total NC straightaway, I go to the gym 6 times a week, have tailored my diet to build muscle, I’ve been going out with friends, going on dates & sleeping around but none of that has got me over her. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 8, 2019 Share Posted April 8, 2019 The fact that he "ditched" you means that you deserve someone better than him. It's highly unlikely you would have been happy long term - relationships are a two way street and he clearly didn't have what it takes to hold up his part. If you think about it honestly you might see there were warning signs that he wasn't really the guy for you prior to him leaving. If not, then you were probably too wrapped up in him to notice those signs. It's hard to understand how someone you were willing to do anything for could just leave you behind. But there is nothing wrong with you - he's just not the guy you were meant to be with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 When is the last time you talked to him? Do you still look at his social media? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 {{{hugs}}} Do you have time to go out and meet other guys nowadays? Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 The fact that he "ditched" you means that you deserve someone better than him. It's highly unlikely you would have been happy long term - relationships are a two way street and he clearly didn't have what it takes to hold up his part. If you think about it honestly you might see there were warning signs that he wasn't really the guy for you prior to him leaving. If not, then you were probably too wrapped up in him to notice those signs. It's hard to understand how someone you were willing to do anything for could just leave you behind. But there is nothing wrong with you - he's just not the guy you were meant to be with. Logic doesn't really enter into this stuff, though. It's like my ex - I loved her even though she's wrong for me. I should have never even allowed the relationship to go as long or as far as it did, but I loved her. I think I still do love her and it's been over a year. But she's bad juju.... Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 Logic doesn't really enter into this stuff, though Believe me I get it. But at least for me it helps to realize that I wouldn't have been happy if things had worked out the way I thought I wanted them to. OP seems to be focusing on the lost love story angle. That's clearly not working for her. So maybe forcefully redirecting her thoughts to the blessing in disguise angle might help. It certainly won't hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guest569 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 Logic doesn't really enter into this stuff, though. It's like my ex - I loved her even though she's wrong for me. I should have never even allowed the relationship to go as long or as far as it did, but I loved her. I think I still do love her and it's been over a year. But she's bad juju.... You're right about logic not coming into it. But I guess in my case, the relationship was great, I loved him, he was good to me, there were no issues aside from him not loving me and not wanting to be with me. So I feel as though the issue was ME. I'm not good enough. There's really no other way around it. My other breakups are easier to take because there were major issues and dealbreakers. Even though yes, I loved them and didn't want it to end. But I think that's why this first breakup has been the hardest to take. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guest569 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 {{{hugs}}} Do you have time to go out and meet other guys nowadays? No way, I am flat out now. Only a couple of months to go. I met a guy a couple of months back and it sucked. And met 2 guys last year I think. When is the last time you talked to him? Do you still look at his social media? A few years ago. Doesn't seem to make a difference, as it's like I am frozen in that time period. Link to post Share on other sites
Author guest569 Posted April 10, 2019 Author Share Posted April 10, 2019 So maybe forcefully redirecting her thoughts to the blessing in disguise angle might help. It certainly won't hurt. I got nothing. I guess being with someone that doesn't love you back is not ideal. I know that. It doesn't make my heart unbreak. Link to post Share on other sites
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