Is this guy a playing games- i don't know if he's geninely interested or playing arou

[groovybaby]

For a few months i saw a personal trainer at my gym staring at me when i entered the gym. He happens to train my brother and he would ask my brother questions about me and what i do etc.

 

 

Eventually he said hi to me but seemed nervous and i didn t feel too comfortable around him either. Saying hi continued for another few months but that's all that he could say as I kept it short and sweet too and didn't feel comfortable having a conversation with him either. He continued with the staring everytime he saw me and he asked my brother questions like how is your sister's training going? Sometimes he makes direct eye contact with me and looks eyes with me even when he's training someone. I usually look away as i feel akward.

I brought a friend to the gym once and he also asked my brother about that too and said he noticed me with a brunette girl in the gym.

Recently my brother sent him pics of himself wearing a suit to the PT from a formal event we both went to. I was in a couple of the pics dressed up and he asked my brother if it's his girlfriend (i believe he knew it was me) and he told him how i look different outside the gym and that it doesn't look like me. Since he's seen the pics he keeps on saying the same thing a few times to my brother- about how different i look outside the gym. He's making a big deal about this and people would obviously look different at a formal event than they would at the gym.

Yesterday the PT saw my friend and i at the gym again and mentioned this to my brother today. My friend said she also felt uncomfortable around him like she was being checked out.

He asked my brother what her name is and said she seems interesting. Even though my brother has told him that she's got a boyfriend in the past. I'm not sure if he's trying to wind me up to get a reaction from me, as maybe he was expecting to get attention from me and chat to him? That has happened all this time. What do you think of this guy?

[preraph]

I doubt he's trying to wind you up or he'd just ask you out, right? Sounds like he just likes "guy talk" about women.

[smackie9]

He's checking out everyone....sounds like horn dog dude talk to me too. I think you are romanticizing this too much. Guys just think about smashing chicks, especially dudes that go to the gym.

[basil67]

I very much doubt it's about you. Most likely he's a bit awkward and likes talking about women.

[smackie9]

The awkwardness in that moment doesn't always mean, shyness or nervousness...sometimes it's shame/guilt because moments before they were thinking about you naked or right at that moment.

[mark clemson]

The fact that you're posting here suggests that maybe the vibe you're getting is that it's more than the normal "window shopping" that men tend to do. I.e. he's creeping on you.

 

You could have your brother tell him to stop asking about you and explain that you're taken or casually mention that you're not into guys who <some description that fits him>.

 

Or even just be direct and say that you've noticed his interest in you, it makes you uncomfortable, and you'd like it to stop immediately. Be firm.

 

It's not appropriate for someone who works in a gym to make members feel uncomfortable. The prospect of potentially losing his job also might have a big impact. If it's a national chain, I'd suspect they take complaints of that nature quite seriously.

 

Nip this thing in the bud before it escalates, no? Don't want to be too rough on the guy as it may well be nothing, but definitely better safe than sorry with something like this...

[olivetree]

He sounds creepy and like he lacks social skills.

I think he's into all women.

[groovybaby]

He sounds creepy and like he lacks social skills.

I think he's into all women.

 

 

Yh i don't understand why he's not embarassed. He knows my brother will tell me about him talking about my friend and I. It makes him look rather silly that he notices us but then talks about us to my brother.

[SunriseCapone]

The awkwardness in that moment doesn't always mean, shyness or nervousness...sometimes it's shame/guilt because moments before they were thinking about you naked or right at that moment.

 

lmao so true haha

[kendahke]

Why hasn't your brother said to him "man, quit asking me, grow a pair and go ask her"?

 

And why is your brother bringing all this back to you? Do you want to date this guy or what? If so, then go talk to the guy already. If not, tell the guy you're not interested and be done with the whole thing.

[stillafool]

Why hasn't your brother said to him "man, quit asking me, grow a pair and go ask her"?

 

And why is your brother bringing all this back to you? Do you want to date this guy or what? If so, then go talk to the guy already. If not, tell the guy you're not interested and be done with the whole thing.

 

I agree. Why does your brother report this stuff to you? He just sounds like a guy who checks out cute girls and there's nothing odd about that to me. If it bothers you don't look his way then you won't know if he's looking at you.

[groovybaby]

He is my brother's personal trainer at the gym. I've seen him watching me from a distance and eventually he said hi but that's all it was just saying hi for a few months. I got creep vibes from him as once he was standing near me just staring in my face and watching me while i was putting my stuff in the locker.

 

The funny thing is that he asks me brother about how my training is going but not me. He has mentioned a few times to my brother that he saw me at the gym with another girl and how he's seen me look completely different outside of the gym in my brother's pics on facebook. Obviously i'm not going to go dressed up to the gym!

He also asked my brother if i'm a shy person as he thinks i act shy in the gym. I stay away from him as i don't feel comfortable and i just go to work out. if he says hi i just say hi back.

I got fed up with him asking my brother questions about me so i messaged him through instagram and told him he done a good job on training my brother. He just gave one word answers and didn't seem interested or make conversation at all so i couldn't be bothered to message him.

 

When i went to the gym again i saw him watching me from a distance in the gym.

I am SO confused with what this guy wants. I actually find him so annoying. what do you think? I feel like he's a mixture of cocky and shy and like he really wants me to throw myself at him :/

[stillafool]

If he were interested in dating you he had the perfect opportunity to pursue you when you messaged him. We've told you before to tell your brother to tell him to stop asking him about your workouts and ask you. If this guy is making you uncomfortable switch gyms.

Edited April 8, 2019 by stillafool

[d0nnivain]

If he creeps you out, what difference does it make what he wants? Tell your brother to tell him to leave you the <bleep> alone because you think he's creepy.

 

It sounds more like you do like him but you are fed up with him not making a move.

 

You need to be more clear in what you are saying vs. how you are acting. You are giving mixed signals here.

[groovybaby]

No i'm just confused about whether he is interested because he asks about me. I'm actually fed up with his behaviour tbh, either don't stare at me and ask about me or he should just act normal and talk to me directly rather than acting creepy and staring.

[stillafool]

He probably stares at all the girls he finds attractive but isn't going to ask all of them out. We've also told you before that if his looking at you bothers you don't look at him and then you won't know that he is looking at you.

[Mrs._December]

No i'm just confused about whether he is interested because he asks about me. I'm actually fed up with his behaviour tbh, either don't stare at me and ask about me or he should just act normal and talk to me directly rather than acting creepy and staring.

So if he suddenly asked you out, he wouldn't be 'creepy' anymore?

 

The guy sounds like he's learning challenged. He's probably juicing.

[smackie9]

He's probably has a GF.

[Youngestdaughter]

Forgive me, but I cannot help but ask you why you care. All I saw that indicated how you felt was that he made you uncomfortable. I can't speak for anyone else, but when I was single and I liked a guy, locking eyes was one of those fun things to do-and a way to let a guy across the room he was invited to approach you. As far as he's concerned, either he's interested in this girl or playing games with you. Either way, I don't see a lot there. Is he in high school? Or is that just when he peaked? Game playing is a huge red flag of immaturity. Also, I don't like the position he's our your brother in, even if your brother doesn't mind. It's not professional and another sign of arrested development. I say forget this guy and find a full grown man who isn't afraid to make his intention known.