Hopeless89 Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 long story short - been 2gether for almost 5 months, he is incredible. i mean like really amazing and so sweet and so encouraging. he's given up alot just to make me happy including friendships which i told him not to but he did not see his friends for a while so we could be together all the time and still now he is back at school and we cant see each other everyday he doesnt do much but school work and on the weekends we're together. anyways my problem is that i am very insecure. im always asking him if he's gonna leave me or if someone is going to take him aaway from me, he has a few girl friends who make me so nervous but he swears all they are are just friends. he constantly tells me up and down to relax and not worry til he tells me there is something to worry about. last night we were arguing about something (i dont even remember ) and i got so angry i hung up the phone and when i tried calling him back later he didnt answer. so I FLIPPED out because we always say good night. so i call him at 630 in the morning (thats when he gets up for work) and he answers and says he fell asleep right after i hung up and whatever, everything is ok now. but im still freaking out like i keep thinking it's not ok. it's so stupid. i have been trying everything to change my insecurities, everything from self help books to coming here and posting. i just recently got health insurance and am going to start seeing a therapist but still. i want to do it on my own. i keep telling him im gonna change but the littlest thing makes me freak out. how do it do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 want to do it on my own. You have tried that and failed often. It's time to get help. Would you try to fix your car on your own? Build a house on your own? Take out your appendix on your own? There are some things that experts do better than we can so go to that therapist and participate fully. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Paranoia is a wide-spread mental disorder and you have all the symptoms of it...I would see a shrink and get some help to take care of it, just like the advice outcast gave, which is excellent...before it gets worse and you start imagining worse and worse things and scare him away.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Jealousy is a hard thing to control. You sound like you think he is to good for you and you fear he will leave you. Have you had guys leave you in the past and do you think this is the cause of your fear? To be secure in yourself you need confidence. If he does leave you need to believe you will be fine. If you can't understand why you have this jealousy and fear then you probably need to do as the other posters suggested. Building confidence is a process and does not happen overnight. Believe in yourself and your self esteem will soar. You are a special person and YOU need to believe that to improve. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiny Dancer Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Definitely seeing a therapist sounds like the right thing to do. Why should you try to go this alone? There is no shame in seeking help when we need it. I wish I had done it sooner but I saw it as a sign of my own weakness. The reality is that theapists are professionals who know how to help. If you had the flu you'd go to the doctor. By going to a therapist or counselor you are taking responsibility for yourself and your actions and that's what being an adult is all about. BTW, confidence is sexy; clingyness is not. If you keep worrying about and asking about other girls you will push him right into the arms of one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
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