MeadowFlower Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 Have you ever felt that you were not attractive enough, not interesting enough, not cool enough, and not open enough, to guys? (or if you are a guy, to girls) In addition, have you been proved wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 l could tell a really bizarre long story about all that but l'll just skim it instead. Yep , in my 20s l felt that right through , it didn't stop me but l did feel it. yet, 20yrs later , l went to this reunion type thing , and l literally had people coming up to me and talking about my looks back in my 20s. l had no idea wth they were talking about and it wasn't until late 30s , l actually realized one day l wasn't a bad looking guy really. B4 that earlier, l had no clue , envied everyone and l always felt like l was this unworthy and everyone was better than me in all sorts of ways. Weird. Met a few really nice looking girls over the years too that were so special and such catches yet they were sure they were ugly, no idea how. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 When I was younger in high school I had some self confidence issues (what kid doesn't). As I grew older and cared less and less about what other people thought and just focused on how I felt about myself I drew more attention from others. So for me I'd say yes but it was a gradual decline. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I've never really had a problem dating or finding someone to date. Of course, there was a learning curve when I started as a young teenager, but I progressed and learned the process. But this isn't about me... What's up, MeadowFlower?? Did someone say something to you?? Are you having difficulties finding someone to date?? Did a close friend make a comment to you?? Is there something about you that you really want to change?? Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 15, 2019 Share Posted April 15, 2019 I always had a lot of confidence, but was fat in high school so I never bothered dating. After I graduated and lost a ton of weight I still assumed nobody was interested in me sexually so I never flirted or made any moves . Then one day a girl who worked as a part time model that I occasionally gamed with online started coming on to me and it occurred that my perception about what others think might be a little off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 In high school I was the shortest guy in the school. So short that my sister in the 6th grade was taller than me. At school dances hardly any of the girls wanted to dance with me. But I noticed that none of the guys, knew how to fast dance or what they called in those days the bop. So I got one of my sister's friends to teach me, then practiced at home in my room until I was better than average. Once it was established that I knew how to fast dance, and dancing was fun, even the most popular senior girls would drift over to my part of the gym. I did OK in high school, but my real break came when I got into college. I was a short skinny guy, who loved to play football. All of my relatives: father, uncles, cousins were tall and I kept expecting to suddenly grow to over 6 feet. And I would be big play high school football. In waiting for that day to come I quite often carried a football with me, and would throw it up with my right hand and catch it with my left hand, then throw it up with my left hand and catch it with my right hand. By accident in college, one of the fraternities discovered my talent. They were not doing too good in the intermural game with the other frats. Overnight I was made an active member of a national fraternity. I never had to pledge or anything. Just catch the football. As far as I know I was the only student from my high school to get into a fraternity. That made me super popular, especially with girls from my former high school. I still might have been short and skinny but that did not stop me from asking out the hottest gals I met. And you would be surprised at how many said yes. Including the one I have now been with for over 23 years. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 Yes, yes, as a single man. But I was only partly right with some girls. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 (edited) i sometimes feel good about myself...i havent ever really thought myself as beautiful..even when i lost weight when i see myself in the mirror i always see an old woman....even when i was younger i saw an old woman...i can look decent ...even when i am overweight i can look decent.... i call myself ugly before anyone else can get the chance...its a defense mechanism....and i dont take it when guys call me beautiful.....i prefer they wouldnt.... ...what i worry about more is about being a good person....its the best thing in the world to be a good person no matter what i look like....my mum said to me the other day when i felt disrespected,used up and completely broken and was a bit upset..ok a lot upset ..she said "she said deb i am so proud of you you are such a good person".......and it made me cry .....that is really important to me....no matter how ugly i feel ....i can know im a good person and it feels wonderful that people i love can see that goodness shine through from my heart...rather than...how i look......deb Edited April 16, 2019 by todreaminblue 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2019 Share Posted April 16, 2019 In high school I was the shortest guy in the school. Love your story! Thanks for sharing. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 Late 20s guy here. To answer the first question: I used to, all the time. At high school and in my early 20s I believed I wasn't at all worthy of getting into a relationship or asking someone out, since I wasn't cool or interesting enough or anywhere near good looking, and almost every guy I knew was more attractive. I got lucky with a couple of girls making a move on me at parties/events at uni - one of which I ended up dating for 6 years. For about half of that time I felt that she was the only girl I'd ever get. After I turned 25 I finally found my sense of self and sense of style... and I've received a lot more attention from girls. I still don't feel all that comfortable approaching girls - out of the girls I've dated or slept with, I only made the first move on one, and that was after a few beers! I am told that I tend to be a bit of a flirt when I meet new people though. Which is really dangerous when in a relationship So perhaps the world might be trying to prove me wrong, but I'm choosing not to believe it for the sake of self preservation Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Me Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 All day everyday. Haven't a clue why nor is anyone able to help me fix it. I just real good at coping with it. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 Up until 10th grade in HS, but things changed fairly rapidly from that point. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 I have never felt any of those things MF Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 I always had a lot of confidence, but was fat in high school so I never bothered dating. After I graduated and lost a ton of weight I still assumed nobody was interested in me sexually so I never flirted or made any moves . Then one day a girl who worked as a part time model that I occasionally gamed with online started coming on to me and it occurred that my perception about what others think might be a little off. great story gaius Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Yes, as a guy I have felt all those emotions at some point, I was particularly struggling about six years ago, I would say it comes from being hurt or not getting positive vibes from other people,perhaps linked to isolation, you start to feel you will always be an underdog. Can you overcome it? yes I think it can be quite easily overcome, you just need to meet people who give you some positivity and raise the spirits again, As I mention above re six years ago, I then had a chance encounter with a Mexican lady (at a health food show) who was studying English in my country, I mean this lady was stunningly beautiful, I would have felt I never had a chance in a million years with someone like her, yet we struck up a conversation and went on to develop a good friendship, and remain friends through facebook so look that gave me hope again!! In looking ahead, I am not looking for a girl who is as pretty as her, just someone who I get along with! some random thing to happen to boost your ego is all you need! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Sure, when I was younger. I think most young women encounter similar issues to be honest. Yes, I was most definitely wrong! Link to post Share on other sites
.thumb.jpeg.56e67a05e0caac554e185e2bfbc79b36.jpeg)
Recommended Posts