What do you think of this predicament??

[DancingMan]

Hey guys,

Mind if I share a scenario with you, and perhaps you lovely people can decide whether I’m wasting my time or not?? The subject: friendship to relationship. Isn’t it always! ��

 

I’m a 27 year old bloke who competes in dance comps with my 21 year old dance partner. Gotta admit I have a crush on her...

 

To start with she was very touchy feely, constantly looking deep into my eyes, laughing at the smallest things I said etc. All good signs right?

 

I asked a couple of the girls she dances with to ask if she had a boyfriend. They came back saying she didn’t really give a conclusive ‘yes or no’ answer(??) I then found out for myself that she did - but only saw him once a week. Literally.

 

Following week I asked if she wanted to go on a day out. She said yes. And it went really well. Very chatty. She then asked me if I wanted to go on a night out with her. I said: what ‘bout your boyfriend? She said: I’ve broke up with him.

 

Not that I’m a player or anything, but sounds great right?!

 

Then, things go wrong...

 

At the end of the night out she invited me on (after a lot of holding each other around the waist, her flaunting a little) I went to kiss her on the lips. And she said no...

 

For the next week or so, dance classes were a little awkward. Cos, it’s all about chemistry and all that.

 

Since all that, she hasn’t invited me out again. But made it clear that she is very busy with her uni studies etc. So much so that she shows me her phone calendar, off the cuff.

 

She’s less ‘hands on’ with the touching now, but we still have a laugh together and she looks into my eyes etc. If ever I’m messaging during dance classes, she’ll either casually try and see what I’m doing, or press her legs against mine to lure me away from the texting.

 

The second (and only other) time we’ve been out together away from dancing was ice skating last week. Good opportunity to hold her hand around the rink

 

Realise I’m asking a lot, based on that brief description, but what are your first thoughts? Is she still interested? Was she ever? Male dance partners are kinda hard to come by. Is she just tagging me along for the sake of the dance partnership? What should I do?

 

Any help greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks guys x

Edited April 17, 2019 by DancingMan

[d0nnivain]

She was never interested. She likes you as a friend & dance partner but she's not interested in dating you for whatever reason. If she wanted to date you she would have been open to the kiss. She does not want to lose a good dance partner but that is about it. She also likes the attention from you which is why she presses your leg to draw you away from texting.

[Gretchen12]

Maybe her break up didn't stick. She may still be sleeping with the ex-Ex. You have made it known you like her, it need not be awkward. It's only awkward if you're butt hurt, too sensitive. Healthy men do like women, not awkward.

[preraph]

A woman doesn't refuse a kiss of a man she's interested in. I mean, think about it. A kiss can be a passionate kiss, or the woman has the option of just drawing back after a quick peck. So a kiss shouldn't be a big deal even if the woman wants to take it slow. I mean, I have pecked friends before. So she doesn't want to kiss you. That's all you need to know. She likes attention and she's young enough that she's testing out her power over men and you may be a guinae pig for her during class, but she isn't wanting romance with you.

[thefooloftheyear]

Donni and peraph have it nailed on the head...

 

You don't register on her radar for a legit bf...But she'll gladly accept that you have your head buried up her ass and will likely let you continue...It does seem weird that she went on a "date" with you, but some women are inclined to do this as they like the attention and don't mind knocking your dick in like she did when you went for a kiss..

 

Preserve your dignity and just back away...if you continue as a dance partner, keep it on a business level only..

 

TFY

[bathtub-row]

Regardless of what her feelings are, she sounds incredibly immature to be playing with people the way she does.

[mark clemson]

Think she's what's known in American slang as a "tease". She's only leading you on to have fun and feed her ego, but she's not interested in anything real (at least not at the moment).

 

If you've started having feelings for her, suggest you find someone else so it doesn't become unrequited love or similar, which can be emotionally painful.

[preraph]

You know, I was a holy terror at her age and really still when I was 24. I was finding my confidence and that's why I said she may just be practicing to see what she can and can't do. I certainly did. It's a little bit heady for a female, especially one that maybe didn't start out overly confident to discover her sexual power over men, so women that age make a lot of mistakes and missteps, because remember, the part of their brain that can predict consequences isn't fully developed yet. No one should sit around scrambling their brain over what a 21 year old woman is doing trying to make it make sense!

[DancingMan]

Sad to say it, but I think you guys are right.

 

She is immature for her age by the things she says and does.

 

Gonna sound really childish of me now, but should I try and make her jealous in some way? For example, I’m on a dating site and am meeting someone (who is also a dancer!) next week for drinks. Should I mention this to her in passing? Just to gauge a reaction...

 

The only reason I say this is to make it clear that I am after an actual relationship and don’t wished to be messed around.

 

Also, what do you guys think ‘bout me asking her for catchups outside of dance. Is that just feeding her ego??

 

Thanks everyone x

Edited April 17, 2019 by DancingMan

[preraph]

No, you shouldn't try to make her jealous. She doesn't want to kiss you. That's an attraction thing. She's not attracted. Why work on someone who isn't attracted and doesn't want to kiss you? Work on someone who does.

[Mr. Lucky]

S Also, what do you guys think ‘bout me asking her for catchups outside of dance. Is that just feeding her ego??

 

And testing your tolerance for pain.

 

You've asked, she's answered. I get it wasn't the response you wanted, but continuing to solicit her attention just makes you look silly and weak...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Springsummer]

Think she's what's known in American slang as a "tease". She's only leading you on to have fun and feed her ego, but she's not interested in anything real (at least not at the moment).

 

If you've started having feelings for her, suggest you find someone else so it doesn't become unrequited love or similar, which can be emotionally painful.

 

I despised that kind of person. I have revered teased or led anybody one if when I could.

[mark clemson]

Yes, it can be annoying and even cruel depending on how far it goes.

 

OP, suggest you don't reciprocate her game playing by playing games with her yourself. I understand the appeal but it's stooping to her level. And why waste time on her when it distracts you from finding someone better...

[ChatroomHero]

 

Gonna sound really childish of me now, but should I try and make her jealous in some way? For example, I’m on a dating site and am meeting someone (who is also a dancer!) next week for drinks. Should I mention this to her in passing? Just to gauge a reaction...

 

The only reason I say this is to make it clear that I am after an actual relationship and don’t wished to be messed around.

 

Also, what do you guys think ‘bout me asking her for catchups outside of dance. Is that just feeding her ego??

 

 

 

I'm sure it is tempting to feed your own ego a little bit to see her jealous or react and you think it will give an indication that maybe she secretly wants you but inexplicably rejected you already, but you have to think it through realistically...

 

 

You are thinking you if mention this new girl that dances and that you are interested in her then this girl may get jealous and give you a reaction that let's you know she is wants you...BUT...she refused a kiss. You put it on the line and she said, "nah". So even if you get a jealous reaction out of her, she is not suddenly going to want to date you and kiss you and fall for you out of jealousy. She would be jealous without wanting to date you.

 

 

Women can friendzone you and make it clear they will not date you, yet when you start dating someone else will get real catty and step up their 'affection' while still keeping you solidly locked in the friendzone. So even if she is jealous, it won't mean what you hope it would mean. It won't mean she suddenly saw the light and realizes how much she wants you, it will pretty much mean she is jealous of your relationship, not necessarily jealous over dating you...Not only that, I would bet you haven't thought of the likely response of her not caring or reacting at all or else saying she is so glad for you, now you can go on a double date with her and her boyfriend.

 

 

If I were you, I'd just find a new dance partner and move on. Let her know you are not really interested in just being friends so just being friends isn't going to work out for you. Anything else is an ego feed to her that she will eat up until the point you try anything with her.