laneyinlove Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 The other night I was feeling lonely and so I went over to my ex boyfriends place and we had sex. When we were IMing I told him that's what I wanted and I was just being matter of a fact. When I got over there I was talking about my dating life to him and he was talking about his dating life to me and then at a certain point we'd be kidding around saying we can't get together without fighting and I said it's a good thing we're broken up and he said something under his breath basically saying " we were never broken up " or " we're gonna be together" something to that extent. Well then later on he's like hey hon how about for one year we play around date as much as we want and have a bunch of fun and in a year we get married and make babies. To that I said this is horribly unromantic. Anyways then we had sex and it was nice and I didn't really allow myself to feel anything. Anyways the next day he IMs me saying it was wondeful and I smelled really good and it was so hard for him to not crawl into bed. I did sense a distance about him like he had to say that as a curtesy thing. Anyways, with the comments he made do you think he still loves me? I am trying to seperate my emotions and be cold to him but sometimes I think maybe I should just let myself free and open to recieve love from him if it is indeed love. I am so confused. I once asked him if he thought we could fall back in love with each other and he said yes he beleived we could but said at this time we are both very fragile due to our history of distrust and fighting. He said he wants to find someone who inspires him and was talking about it in a sense like I don't inspire him and it was like who am I chopped liver? So I'm super confused. Advice please. Link to post Share on other sites
Hotdiggitydammit Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 I think that you should leave those types of emotions and thinking in the past. The key is if you start over, then those things in the past will be worked up. Sometimes I give my ex hints about things that I regret. I did a terrible thing because I had dreams in which I was not there. Anyway, I was crazy at the time because I was lost and confused. By the time I found my balance it was already too late. I think he was only sending you the im because he wanted you to be the last one to break no contact but didn't want to make you feel bad so he left a nice message. I think he is saying that he understands it will be difficult but that you two can work things out when the time is right for both people. Link to post Share on other sites
Hotdiggitydammit Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Another thing is your ex should stop generating questions and start doing things for himself. He thinks too much and all it does is get him in a deeper mess. I would suggest that you two do NC. He should take this time for himself. He should be comfortable with the situation that you also will live your life right now. If you too keep thinking about what one or the other is doing, then you may get back together prematurely. If you two are meant for each other then doesn't it ALWAYS seem the timing is right? I think it is safe that he is ready to start healing himself. The questions he only needs to generate should be about himself. IMHO, He probably was thinking too much but realized "hey, why even go there. I am at peace so why lose it" Take the time and do whatever makes each of you happy. Sometimes people will be inspired later. I know that my ex DEFITELY inspired me with her creativity and cleverness recently. That's why I smile. Take this time to be yourself. Your ex needs to focus on his life for the moment and you should focus on your life without having to generate all these thoughts. There is nothing to be confused. You probably thought that he would break NC. So if he has contacted you, then he is no longer that predictable. Isn't that kind of nice? Link to post Share on other sites
dougal19 Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 if you love him then without telling him find out how he feels about u, if he says he loves you and he wants u back then i think u should start again with him i mean, start the slow process with him, only see him a few times a week, go to pics and for a drink and stuff with him, but dont have sex with him, that way you wont get emotionaly attached as quick good luck with everything Link to post Share on other sites
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