Blind-Sided Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I’m aware of that. I’m a divorcee myself. I know what the answer is when you have an impending divorce. I wanted to hear from people who don’t have that. With that comment you are only looing for the sugar coated, infatuation answer. My point is.... I've been with a woman for 20 years... I never had any real arguments, and we got along VERY well. For all of those years, I thought we were on the same page. Quite literally... one morning was the normal "I love you"... and I had no reason to think anything was seriously wrong. Then... before dinner... she said "I don't love you, and I haven't for a long time!" At that point, we had NEVER talked about separation, or divorce, or even been angry enough at each other for one of us to sleep on the couch. SO... once again... my response to the question is..... YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH SOMEONE ELSES HEAD, AND WHAT THIER TRUE FEELINGS ARE. FYI... I still love my wife, and I am absolutely dumbfounded by the way she was able to literally flip a switch in her head to just turn off the love. AND, we were even intimate the night prior to all this. SO... I had ZERO indication that she didn't love me anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 (edited) With that comment you are only looing for the sugar coated, infatuation answer. No. It's just that I don't want this thread to turn into some whiny-fest for divorced and separated people. Instead of hijacking mine they can make their own thread. Edited April 23, 2019 by snowcones Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 (edited) No. It's just that I don't want this thread to turn into some whiny-fest for divorced and separated people. Instead of hijacking mine they can make their own thread. I have my own thread. I also answered your question truthfully. And I wouldn't have made more than one post if you didn't automatically discarded my answer, and my explanations. (along with Mr Rights explanation) If My marriage was rocky, and we fought all the time, or one if my relationship was one sided... I would agree with your assessment. But, to keep it on track, this will be my last post on this. Edited April 23, 2019 by Blind-Sided Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 I have confidence my wife loves me, no doubts here. She tells me that I am "stuck" with her. Likewise, my wife knows without a doubt I love her. We would never cheat on each other and we have a vibrant sex life to this day, just like before we had kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rotaglia Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 I think she does but you'd have to ask her. We've been together 22 years and I'm not certain we'll see 23 but ... we definitely love each other. Loving someone does not necessarily mean being married to them (or continuing to be married to them) is a good idea, however. Link to post Share on other sites
IgliNick Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 Do you feel 100% certain that your spouse loves you? Just curious about what the norm is. 100% sure my fiancee loves me. Not because of anything he says or does - it is more about syncing and being in the same wavelength. No way to rationally describe it but I'm sure many people know what I mean... Like the times when you need very little words to 'get' each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 I know my wife loves me. I just feel every time I am around her. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 The balance of individuals that find this site because they have poor and/or failing relationships is FAR greater than those of us that have good ones. You are likely to find more responses saying that they have failed marriages than you are those that have happy ones simply because of that dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Yes, I know he does. I don't measure that by words though. We've been married for almost 22 years now, and we've had our ups and downs, just like many marriages do. We've been through everything from deployments where he'd be gone for over a year at a time, to mental health issues, our kid's health problems, death or a parent, moving I don't know how many times, retirement, illness, vacations, buying our home, etc. . While I say I don't by into the "soulmates" concept, in some ways , we really are the other's half. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 yeah my wife loves me, it's just in her own way I guess. Same with me. I was looking for marriage to make up for the attraction and sex I couldn't get when I was single and I thought that would be a sure thing because my wife was the first and only woman who was more interested than I was going into the relationship. But her fierce dedication to our relationship outside the bedroom has never translated to what I expected in the bedroom. Maybe it's just our respective insecurities - my "nice-guy" ones and her weight-related ones - that are working against each other, but I have never really figured it out. Link to post Share on other sites
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