GTR King Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 Ok so I have an issue... Last wed my dad got diagnosed with stage 1 intestine cancer. (getting treatment) I was really upset & still am, G.f was working nights last tues/wed/thurs... (that’s why she couldn’t come see me) I have been with a friend all day, (she saw a friend in day) but all I want is to Hug me my girlfriend.. When speaking on phone yesterday she said I will spend Friday night with you keep you company as don’t want you to be on your own & made plans for sat to go seaside & to my mates new house. She massaged earlier asking if she can go clubbing with her friend (different one) I replied twice within a few mins saying yess I want u to have fun, as thought I would be ok that was 2.55 then messaged again at 7 saying what’s the plan?? Heard nothing since but she read the first too messages I just need her right now by myside but not sure if I will see her this weekend Is she in the right to ask me to clubbing with her friend? I don’t wanna ring or pester her etc Please advise Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 I advise you to get another girlfriend. This one hasn't read the handbook on 'How To Be A Human Being'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 please clarify your original post, I can't follow it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 19, 2019 Author Share Posted April 19, 2019 All sorted i spoke to her we meeting up tomz & all day sunday I said yess to her going out as was fine earlier but then later on in the day when I got home from my mates (He cheered me up) I realised I wasn't so rung her. She said she felt bad for going out as thought I was ok as i told her. and wished she could hug me but said it won't be long till I see you so hang in there babe I am her for u feel free to ring again if u start to feel low again.. So all good Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 It's not all sorted. It doesn't matter whether you consented or not, the question should never even have been asked by a decent human being. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 20, 2019 Author Share Posted April 20, 2019 So your saying she should of come to see me? & not even asked if she wanted to go out drinking with her mate, I feel as if I hadn’t of rung her she wouldn’t of message/called me till today, She did message to say Just got Home love you loads xxxx I just felt like I was pestering her & that she didn’t wanna talk... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Yes, she should have come to see you. We're not talking about you having a papercut or a boner, we're talking about your dad being diagnosed with cancer. It's up to you of course but I'd be very careful with investing any more time in this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 20, 2019 Author Share Posted April 20, 2019 (edited) Been with this girl for nearly 6 months & we off on holiday for a week 29th April I Am seeing her today but dunno when, depends when she wakes up & if she has to help in the garden. She should know how I feel as her dad died of cancer last year Edited April 20, 2019 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 She should know how I feel as her dad died of cancer last year Maybe this is part of it, she has to process the new feelings as it has brought up old feelings.. That happened to me with a friend and her husband about 15 years ago as he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and I had recently lost my Step Mom to cancer, after spending some time with him it dug up all the terrible feelings about my Step Mom's death and I distanced myself from them.. Right or wrong that is what I did, I did however keep in touch with them both but was just not as close to him as he was going thru it, I also didn't blow them off.. I just wasn't as available I don't know if we can figure out why your GF has distanced herself but she has said it was temporary and she would hold you. I think you just need to have a heart to heart with her and hopefully you will understand her behavior better. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 I don't know if we can figure out why your GF has distanced herself but she has said it was temporary and she would hold you. She hasn't even seen him, after going out drinking the previous night she has said today that it "depends on when she wakes up and if she has to help in the garden".... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 She hasn't even seen him, after going out drinking the previous night she has said today that it "depends on when she wakes up and if she has to help in the garden".... I'm not saying her behavior is okay, I just explained why her behavior may be present... I also said he needs to discuss with her why she did this. How much distance is there.. in other words how far away do you guys live from each other ? mins or hours ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 21, 2019 Author Share Posted April 21, 2019 (edited) Saw her yesterday from 3.30ish & all day today spent helping her in the garden was too hot lol then her mum did a big dinner We live 5-10 mins (Car) 20-30 mins (Walk) she said if I wasn't working I would of ran all the way to yours to give you a big hug last wed when I found out the news Edited April 21, 2019 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Saw her yesterday from 3.30ish & all day today spent helping her in the garden was too hot lol then her mum did a big dinner ���� We live 5-10 mins (Car) 20-30 mins (Walk) she said if I wasn't working I would of ran all the way to yours to give you a big hug last wed when I found out the news Sounds like she told her mum about your troubles, and mommy is giving her direction concerning how to make you feel good. Is that a win? Only you know for sure... Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 22, 2019 Author Share Posted April 22, 2019 Her mum told me to stay positive & my dad will be all ok as 95/100 people who get this type of cancer survive in the uk survive... And thanks me for helping with the garden today... Girlfriend Hugged me before I left & said if ever need to ring if feeling sad will talk even if am at work will try to ring... so feeling positive Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 Sorry about your dad. Cancer sucks! Keep your humor going and stay as positive as you can around your parents. Your gf chose to be with friends instead of being with you during a very difficult time. I'm sure that hurt and you have every right to feel upset about her decision to spend time with friends and go clubbing/drinking rather than be there for you. It's possible she can't handle stuff and isn't equip to deal with someone's sadness or how to be there for them. Either way you now know you can't rely on her for emotional support. How long have you two been a couple? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 Been together nearly 6 months, she did say when I met her that I can call her anytime & she is here for me, she said she only went out as I told her I was fine, But feeling allot happier now ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GTR King Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 (edited) Me & my Girlfriend had our first argument today, I am slightly autistic by the way Dunno what I should do, advice needed I wasn't expecting to see her today (As she packing for holiday/spending it with her mum) but politely asked her if she wanted to come GYM with me (would of understood if she said no) Her hour or so later Think I will go to the gym tonight and think my mum might go for a swim xxxxxxxxx Me wanna meet at GYM or yours? xxxxxx Her mine would be easier but up to you? xxxxxxxx Me what time u want me round 5.30ish? xxxxxx Her come round any time babe love you loads & loads xxxxxx Whilst at GYM she said you can do your own thing if u want & I will swim with mum, I said ok need to swim anyway for sponsored swim, but will leave u to it, Her mum talked to me normally & said why don’t you spend tonight with your b.f & me tomz to my g.f. After gym my G.F looked annoyed & said I wanted to spend tonight with my mum, I would of respect that but all she said is do your own thing at GYM (that’s what I did) & before dunno what we gonna do after will see what my mum says might spend it with her or you, Why would she tell me she is going to the GYM & want lift/spent it with me then changed her mind to wanting me to do my own things & leave her be to spend it with her mum, She seems fine at moment Edited April 24, 2019 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
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