fairy_dust Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 When I was a teenager and was engaging into sexual contact with so called boyfriends I dated. It didn't take long for me to give my body up because of the strong urges of being such a horny school girl. I had my boyfriends cum on me, cum in my mouth and well I had no problems ingesting it. When I met my husband, his sexual encounters had a number of whores and past girlfriends and one night stands. We were shacking up togeather for about 2 years and 9 months before we got hitched. Our sex life is great in the sense that I love to have it and always WILLING TO GIVE IT UP! Now my husband loves porn he downloads them often when he's home. He masterbates when I am asleep and when he's home alone. Even when I am busy someplace in our apartment I walk out and catch him. I do not mind his strong like for porn. I figure this is his relaxtion to pleasure himself, it's natural so I have come to accept it and make nothing of it. Now in the past we would have the usual sex positions (ie. missionary, 69, scissors etc.) At one time I think it was intentional that he slipped himself into my anal. He claims it was an accident but I refuse to believe it. So time passes on and for the past 6 months. He would always say that he is gonna stick me in the arse and he wants to cum in my mouth and for me to ingest it. For some reason now I find it digusting and I want to throw up when he ejacualtes in my mouth. It tastes so Fuucken awful and it's not what I remembered when I was a teen. Because I sense he is disappointed in me that I don't swallow his cum. Wondering if this is a phase or something that I can't seem to keep it down. As well as yearning to screw my arse doggy style because of the porn? I have to say that he is interested in things of what he watches from porn. What advice would help me to like swallowing cum again? as well as giving my arse up, with a whole heart with or without the pain? Link to post Share on other sites
Pleaseurself Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 If he loves you and when you tell him, then I should feel how you do. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 It sounds like porn-f*cking is ill-fitting the gaping hole in your relationship where true intimacy should be. It sounds like instead of making love, you basically masturbate using each other's bodies as the tool to reach orgasm. I expect your problems with anal and swallowing is that you have reached a point subconsciously where you are realizing that your sexual interaction with him has no more meaning or depth than the average jerk-flick. In turn, you may be feeling that he has no more emotional attachment to you than he does the average porn actress getting reamed up the arse and then having a load blown in her face. Perhaps that is why your heart isn't in it: because your heart doesn't even factor into this interaction in the first place. Porn has no heart, and since your sex life sounds to have devolved into nothing more than a live sex show, there is no heart in your sex life either. How can you put your heart and soul into something, where it is not welcomed? Under the circumstances you have, you'd basically have to do like the porn actresses do - consider it work and detach yourself from it. Think of it as something that will be over soon. Make sure your H uses a lot of lube so that it won't hurt as much. Swallow, knowing that all you have to do is act like you like it for as long as it takes you to get to the bathroom and gargle some mouthwash (and hopefully not vomit). That is what sex without intimacy is like. Something that you just want to be over quickly. Is that what you want? You have to ask yourself if you want more from this. Are you satisfied with this? Not only sexually, but when you are laying in bed after sex do you feel empty and hollow inside? Do you find yourself wondering if this is what all the fuss of "being in love" is about? Do you want more out of your life with your H? There's nothing wrong with anal and swallowing. They can both be pleasurable for both partners in different ways. But... when there is no real intimacy or mutual pleasure behind it, it is not much more than something to be tolerated. Link to post Share on other sites
Hotdiggitydammit Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Send this link to him and see what is his reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Hey Fairy Dust, It sounds to me as if he is using you like they do in the porn videos and treating you like trash.. I personally don't mind my H saying dirty things to me but he isn't going to put his d*** in my a** that is an exit not and enter and I know have heard that it can be very pleasureable but im sorry i can orgasm from the coochie just as good !! I don't have any problem in that area .. My H isn't into that anyways so glad for that not my thing if he was lol .. I think when people watch porn it gives them these visual images of what they do and they think they can try it out on theor s/o .. I have no problem with spicing things up but some of that **** is too freaky for me .. I can't see having sex with animals ,hanging by your body parts or having weird objects shoved up your coochie or your a**.. He needs to take your feelings into consideratiion and quit treating you like a whore... I think once people look at the normal porn they like porn but then porn isn't enough and they want to to look at something more extreme .. What i am saying to each's on when you look at at porn i feel it does something to your mind ..Most the time when people are addicted to porn thiis is when they want to do the freaky **** .. I will probably get bashed but this is my feeling .. Link to post Share on other sites
sanso Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Tastes awful? What is his diet like? Fluctuations in diet can change the taste. Like the old rumor: drinking pineapple juice makes it taste sweeter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fairy_dust Posted September 22, 2005 Author Share Posted September 22, 2005 You know Lu you couldn't have explained it better, our sex life is just wam bam thank you mam. There is no intimacy (no work) it's only to get me off or him and it's gone so un-intimate to where he doesn't cum because later he jerks off to porn. Lately he has been giving me signs being interested in golden showers and he likes doing it in the shower with me I find it sickening. I mean thats fuucken human waste and I am starting to think he is weird. I love him and I know he loves me I mean I feel that burning sensation for him, but our sex life is just all about fuucking! as you said rather than the work of making love. He calls me his whore and his slut when he fuucks me, I call his name out often when we fuuck. There only times when he calls mine and there is nothing but "My slut, you slutty whore you....etc." I mean what he tells me of his past encounters with the prostistutes, he explains to ****ing them being a gentleman. Now as his wife I feel he is treating me just like those sluts and YES I do believe he is a porn addict. I feel bad because he tells that all I do is just 'lay there' I mean he makes it sound thats all I literally do. I give him head I stroke him I ride on him but then his cock gets soft and I can go one and on. I am sexually frustrated and it's making my self esteem as a woman as his wife! Like I am second best to the damn porn he downloads so often. What advice could you give or anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 My advice? Let him know that you can't live like this anymore and if he won't go in for counseling with you, then he can go into divorce proceedings with you. There is no reason to continue on like this. None. I can't tell you how badly I feel for you being in this situation. I truly hope you will find the strength inside you to either truly work toward a brighter future with him, or walk away from a terrible bleak one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fairy_dust Posted September 22, 2005 Author Share Posted September 22, 2005 Lu is there an email addy I could send you some of my private notes of mind, I can't send a private message to you for some reason. This is very personal to me and you are hitting points that explains how I feel and what my sitation is. I could use the vent and advice or thoughts, family has no justice to my decision because they all look at me ill versus a total stranger best that I can get. Link to post Share on other sites
Sheba Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Poor fairy. I think that your husband imagines that those movies depict "ideal sex" and is trying to recreate the "fantastic orgasm" pretended by the actors. Lucrezia is right, of course. You need counselling if you are to continue. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I can't send a private message to you for some reason Until you reach the 50 post mark, you can't enable PMing. I see you're at 16 posts, so if you want to get to 50, start reading and replying to other people's posts to bring you up to speed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fairy_dust Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 I'll keep that in mind, Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author fairy_dust Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Well Sheba, I have told him about it and he has admit he is addicted to it. He is a man and well whatever he see's that looks ideal to him as you say. I figure he would like to act it on me. He says he watches them to get 'ideas', we are going to talk it over and be honest with eachother. I told him how he makes me sexually frustrated as well as I want to hear his frustrations with me. I told him this is a marriage and communication as well as laying things out on the table must happen. I told him we both must express strongly and explain any issues or concerns with eachother. As all relationships it is never perfect and I don't ever plan on getting that way. But all I want is to ensure that my spouse is happy being with me in all aspects that greatly affect our relationship imporantly sex being one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts