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What would make a man very attractive to gay men but not at all to women?

bassnectar7

By bassnectar7
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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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I go out to this bar all the time and see this gay guy who is an acquaintance of mine. Really nice guy and he always goes there with his female friends

 

 

Last time he saw me, he complimented me about a 100 times - called me "beautiful" and complimented me on how big my arms looked and what not. I was cracking up hard but was very flattered. I tried to talk to his female friends and they all turned me down instantly - very negative body language

 

 

What would cause this divide? I'm well groomed and well dressed but I'm nowhere near that gay territory. I don't pluck my eyebrows, I have very masculine facial features, deep voice, masculine mannerisms, etc..

preraph Established Member

preraph

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Men like different things in a man than women. I used to hang with some close gay guys friends and go out with them and to parties and stuff. Don't take this the wrong way, but they are much less picky about physically. Like a lot of them don't care that much about faces. They focus more on bodies, just like straight guys do with women. Even then, they don't have all the dealbreakers women have. Shortness doesn't seem to be a problem among gay men, but penis size sometimes is, but that too varies.

 

I mean, even in the movies and on tv when it was nearly all put together by men not that long ago, women often complained that whoever was choosing the "leading men" didn't have a clue what women liked. Same way with porn. Men and women just don't like the same thing and in general, I think gay men have a wider attraction spectrum than straight women do, just from what I've observed. Dress matters with either men or women, and not exactly the same way.

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Your idea of looking gay seems to be based on stereotypes. There are plenty of masculine looking gay men out there. Anyway, if you don't have heaps of gay men hitting on you, then I'd say it's more about a crush on the side of your mate than you having a gay vibe which sets off gay guy radars.

 

The women who all turned away from you, are you telling us that they wouldn't even pass the time of day with you? How rude. Sure, none of them may be interested in dating you, but all of them refusing to socialise is quite bizarre. Unless you looked like you were on the hunt, I can't explain it.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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Men like different things in a man than women. I used to hang with some close gay guys friends and go out with them and to parties and stuff. Don't take this the wrong way, but they are much less picky about physically. Like a lot of them don't care that much about faces. They focus more on bodies, just like straight guys do with women. Even then, they don't have all the dealbreakers women have. Shortness doesn't seem to be a problem among gay men, but penis size sometimes is, but that too varies.

 

I mean, even in the movies and on tv when it was nearly all put together by men not that long ago, women often complained that whoever was choosing the "leading men" didn't have a clue what women liked. Same way with porn. Men and women just don't like the same thing and in general, I think gay men have a wider attraction spectrum than straight women do, just from what I've observed. Dress matters with either men or women, and not exactly the same way.

 

I get just as many compliments on having a handsome face as i do on my body and I'm decent height (5'11)

 

What would cause multiple gay men to go absolutely crazy over me yet i get nothing from women?

 

The important distinction here is the gay men who go gaga over me are all good looking, young, in shape men so its not like they have no standards.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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Your idea of looking gay seems to be based on stereotypes. There are plenty of masculine looking gay men out there. Anyway, if you don't have heaps of gay men hitting on you, then I'd say it's more about a crush on the side of your mate than you having a gay vibe which sets off gay guy radars.

 

The women who all turned away from you, are you telling us that they wouldn't even pass the time of day with you? How rude. Sure, none of them may be interested in dating you, but all of them refusing to socialise is quite bizarre. Unless you looked like you were on the hunt, I can't explain it.

 

It doesn't happen all the time but when it does happen; the gay men in question are beside themselves over how attractive I am

 

It makes me chuckle. I would have a spectacularly good looking boyfriend in a week if I was gay. Meanwhile, i can't even get a date with a decent looking woman my age if my life depended on it

Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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Maybe the women’s distaste has nothing to do with appearance?

 

As an aside, I’m baffled by all these really attractive men who can’t get dates, that are on here lately. Really weird.

 

(Edit) And yeah-there are plenty of gay men that look and act stereotypically “masculine”.

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CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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Maybe these gay men only care about appearance because all they want is a hookup.

 

And maybe the women are looking for more than that and there is something about your personality or character that is turning them off.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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Maybe the women’s distaste has nothing to do with appearance?

 

As an aside, I’m baffled by all these really attractive men who can’t get dates, that are on here lately. Really weird.

 

(Edit) And yeah-there are plenty of gay men that look and act stereotypically “masculine”.

 

 

These gay men who fawn over me are more in the clearly gay range. They're not super feminine but you can tell they are gay

 

 

I don't know if I'm really attractive. I get tons of compliments but never get anything from good looking women my age so I doubt myself all the time. If i was actually good looking, wouldn't I have easy dating chances with good looking women my age?

 

I have maximized my appearance as much as humanly possible. I'm 5'11 200 lbs 9% bodyfat. I'm well groomed and dress extremely sharp. I don't know what else I can do

Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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Dude, I already said appearance isn’t everything for most women.

 

Are you by any chance from Armenia?

 

(Edit) And I wasn’t saying that the men that are fawning over you aren’t gay. I meant that there are plenty of gay men partnered up that look and act very masculine, so obviously “manly” men are attractive to gay men as well.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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Dude, I already said appearance isn’t everything for most women.

 

Are you by any chance from Armenia?

 

(Edit) And I wasn’t saying that the men that are fawning over you aren’t gay. I meant that there are plenty of gay men partnered up that look and act very masculine, so obviously “manly” men are attractive to gay men as well.

 

From what I understand, all gays go crazy for very masculine men

 

One of my gay acquantances told me that

 

And I understand that appearance isn't everything but I've talked to men who tell me they get approached by good looking women. Is this just a question of them being much more beautiful in the face than I am? I'm merely decent to handsome while they are much more stunningly handsome?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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In that case, the gay guys like you because you set off their gaydar and they think they have a chance with you. If women as a whole aren't interested, it's either because they also think you're gay or because they find your attitude/approach repulsive.

 

And let's be clear, a guy doesn't have to be effeminate to set off a gaydar.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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In that case, the gay guys like you because you set off their gaydar and they think they have a chance with you. If women as a whole aren't interested, it's either because they also think you're gay or because they find your attitude/approach repulsive.

 

And let's be clear, a guy doesn't have to be effeminate to set off a gaydar.

 

I have never had anybody ask me if i was gay. I have very masculine facial features - huge, squared off jaw/chin, thick eyebrows, thick neck. I'm very thick build. I have a deep voice and masculine mannerisms. I'm still well groomed and dress nice but my look is heavily masculine.

 

I imagine gay men hope I'm gay because they go crazy for my type. My gay acquantance said they all love manly men. I imagine same way lesbians love beautiful/feminine women.

Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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From what I understand, all gays go crazy for very masculine men

 

One of my gay acquantances told me that

 

And I understand that appearance isn't everything but I've talked to men who tell me they get approached by good looking women. Is this just a question of them being much more beautiful in the face than I am? I'm merely decent to handsome while they are much more stunningly handsome?

 

Well, I kind of doubt “all gays” go crazy for very masculine men, but maybe I’m wrong and that’s not really the point.

 

But I really doubt that your problem is your appearance, by what you have said.

chillii Established Member

chillii

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From what I understand, all gays go crazy for very masculine men

 

One of my gay acquantances told me that

 

And I understand that appearance isn't everything but I've talked to men who tell me they get approached by good looking women. Is this just a question of them being much more beautiful in the face than I am? I'm merely decent to handsome while they are much more stunningly handsome?

 

 

 

 

Ahhh, who wanna be stunningly handsome as a guy anyway , looks kinda off to me, as a guy, ahh.

But l do have some handsome thing goin on, or some kind of attractive thing, it's always made me uncomfortable , but l'm not one of these pretty guys, many rough edges haha.

 

 

But the gay guys like me too , l hate it, l don't care what anyone thinks l just don't like it.

lucky for me though women do like me too.

So l'm surprised you have the women shortage because you sound maybe rough around the edges like me and they like me.

Maybe you dress a little too nice or something.

Dunno , the girls could probably help out more on this one.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Is it possible these women are gay too?

Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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And after your last reply, I’m even more sure that appearance isn’t your problem. You’re assigning people certain roles based on gender or sexuality which can be very off-putting, especially if you live in an area with a more educated and liberal population.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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And after your last reply, I’m even more sure that appearance isn’t your problem. You’re assigning people certain roles based on gender or sexuality which can be very off-putting, especially if you live in an area with a more educated and liberal population.

 

 

I'm not sure what you mean. There are gays who are very masculine, in middle and very effeminate. Same thing with lesbians

 

 

My point is the manly gays and femme lesbians blend into society, people generally don't detect them

 

 

And I'm very liberal socially. You think conservative guys would be ok interacting with gays like I do?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Why are you bothering us with all these questions if you know the answers?

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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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I'm not sure what you mean. There are gays who are very masculine, in middle and very effeminate. Same thing with lesbians

 

 

My point is the manly gays and femme lesbians blend into society, people generally don't detect them

 

 

And I'm very liberal socially. You think conservative guys would be ok interacting with gays like I do?

 

Saying “all gays” like something, or “lesbians like this” comes across as... I don’t know the word. People are individuals. There isn’t a whole huge group consensus on most things.

 

(Edit) At least when it comes to dating or relationships.

 

(Edit 2) And yes, I think plenty of conservative men would be perfectly fine interacting with gay people. Just because people may not agree with someone’s personal choices, doesn’t mean that they shun them or think that their choices have anything to do with them. Basically, I believe there are plenty of conservative people who are loving, caring, decent human beings who don’t ostracize people they don’t agree with. And again, this doesn’t really have anything to do with what we are talking about, at least from my point of view.

Edited by Veronica73
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TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

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Are you the same poster that starts thread about having everything going for you, but can't find a cute girl that works out?

 

Seems very similar.

 

Either way, gay guys are still guys. They're highly visual. He didn't say anything about your personality from the way you say it. You weren't attracted to him, so that sexual tension isn't there so you came off more confidence. Genuinely not caring. Whereas with these women, there is sexual tension there and you may have given off some off putting vibes.

 

Plus, if you're into the bodybuilding culture, you know that guys are much more impressed with a muscular physique than women. Women think Justin Beiber is buff. All he does is not eat and do some sit ups; probably takes some test. He's not tracking lifts, pushing to failure, testing different programs, etc. Men know how much work it takes to build muscle and appreciate it a lot more. So, that already sets you apart.

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bassnectar7 Member

bassnectar7

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Are you the same poster that starts thread about having everything going for you, but can't find a cute girl that works out?

 

Seems very similar.

 

Either way, gay guys are still guys. They're highly visual. He didn't say anything about your personality from the way you say it. You weren't attracted to him, so that sexual tension isn't there so you came off more confidence. Genuinely not caring. Whereas with these women, there is sexual tension there and you may have given off some off putting vibes.

 

Plus, if you're into the bodybuilding culture, you know that guys are much more impressed with a muscular physique than women. Women think Justin Beiber is buff. All he does is not eat and do some sit ups; probably takes some test. He's not tracking lifts, pushing to failure, testing different programs, etc. Men know how much work it takes to build muscle and appreciate it a lot more. So, that already sets you apart.

 

I don't look like a steroidhead. I still look very natural/healthy/athletic

 

I get compliments both from serious lifters and regular people

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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a tight bung hole??

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Veronica73 Established Member

Veronica73

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So really, it is most likely not about appearance. What are you trying to find out here?

TheFinalWord Established Member

TheFinalWord

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Never said you did. But 190lbs, 10% BF, at 5'11" is really muscular. Men into lifting are going to appreciate the work it takes more than most women.

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emeraldgreen Established Member

emeraldgreen

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Same troll with no inner game who can't get why women won't date him.

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