Feeling Inferior to my new partner and his ex's...

[SevenCity]

I find correcting grammar in that sort of context rude. As though he wants/needs to feel/be "smarter" than you.

 

A good man should love you for who you are, warts and all (or grammatical errors). He shouldn't feel the need to correct or belittle you.

 

I have colloquialisms that I use that make my husband chuckle. He has some also. We are from different families, different geographic areas and different upbringings. Neither makes either of us more or less intelligent than the other.

 

Correcting grammar is like telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. Sure it’s embarrassing, but would you rather be embarrassed once or all day?

 

My gf and I correct each other’s grammar (occasionally because it doesn’t happen often) and we are both secure enough to appreciate it

 

That said, after 6 months if you’re not head over heels for the dude, you likely never will be.

[Foxhall]

You need to work on your self esteem. This is not about him, any other man you ever dated or any women they previously dated. It's about how you view yourself. You are unfairly comparing your self worth to somebody else's paycheck. You are a mom. That has value.

 

I make a good income & own my own business but don't have kids. When I'm old no one will visit me in the nursing home or advocate for my wellbeing when I am unable to care for myself. In that sense between you & me, which one of us is richer & has greater value?

 

 

 

that is a pity. I enjoy your posts in general and think you have a lot of wisdom to pass on,

perhaps you can adopt children.

[ExpatInItaly]

he just said we have diffrent levels of intelligence but honestly he is just smarter than me and trying to be nice.

 

That comment would bother me. More so than the correction, which I personally didn't see as a big deal. However, the wording he gave you above does not sit right.

 

But I am curious, how do you know so much about his exes? Is he offering this information, or are you asking him?

[JuneL]

Correcting grammar is like telling someone they have spinach in their teeth. Sure it’s embarrassing, but would you rather be embarrassed once or all day?

 

My gf and I correct each other’s grammar (occasionally because it doesn’t happen often) and we are both secure enough to appreciate it

 

That said, after 6 months if you’re not head over heels for the dude, you likely never will be.

 

I think it depends on a few factors: his tone, the context, whether the mistake was a slip of tongue. Let’s suppose the OP’s English is indeed objectively quite inadequate. Then her bf probably needs to correct her grammar constantly. Can you imagine how annoying this is going to be? I also fail to see how such a practice is going to improve her overall language skills. Does she herself even want to improve her English?

 

I personally am not an American English native speaker, and first learned English as an “international language”. I can think of a couple of occasions in which some American English speaker was trying to correct something I said/wrote that was actually perfect British English.