Have you ever rejected someone because you thought you could “do better”

[Woggle]

I wouldn't put it like that but I had situations where I know within 15 minutes that it would never work out.

[guest569]

Never once did I have a relationship that was going well... but I broke it off just because "I could do better". To me... that seems very cold, and cruel. Same as some of the above... I've discontinued a relationship because after a few dates, I just didn't see it lasting.

 

So.. This was one of the things my first boyfriend said after he broke up with me and it still hurts. He didn't mean looks wise so much as me as a person, and our compatibility. But really, what a horrible perspective.

 

No I've never had this mindset because I'm not trying to be the best and have the best of everything (whatever "best" is), I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not.

[MajesticUnicorn]

I mean, isn't that kind of how a lot of online dating apps operate?

You swipe left on someone because you are not interested, sure maybe it's something written in their profile you find outputting, but I'd guess 9 times out of 10 it's because you aren't attracted and think you can find someone "better." And I use that term relatively, because I don't think being more attractive makes you "better."

 

I have to be very attracted to a person to date them, or consider dating them now. I've gone on many dates where I was lukewarm about the guy, and all of them ended due to lack of connection.

[guest569]

I mean, isn't that kind of how a lot of online dating apps operate?

You swipe left on someone because you are not interested, sure maybe it's something written in their profile you find outputting, but I'd guess 9 times out of 10 it's because you aren't attracted and think you can find someone "better." And I use that term relatively, because I don't think being more attractive makes you "better."

 

I have to be very attracted to a person to date them, or consider dating them now. I've gone on many dates where I was lukewarm about the guy, and all of them ended due to lack of connection.

 

In that case though, I am not swiping left 'because I can do better'. I am swiping left 'because I wouldn't bang that person'... it is totally different! Thinking 'I can do better' is a bit desperate in a way because it means, well if I can't do better then I guess I'll swipe right and take what I can get.

[Mike800]

I mean, isn't that kind of how a lot of online dating apps operate?

You swipe left on someone because you are not interested, sure maybe it's something written in their profile you find outputting, but I'd guess 9 times out of 10 it's because you aren't attracted and think you can find someone "better." And I use that term relatively, because I don't think being more attractive makes you "better."

 

I have to be very attracted to a person to date them, or consider dating them now. I've gone on many dates where I was lukewarm about the guy, and all of them ended due to lack of connection.

 

I’m not talking about not being attracted at all to someone I’m taking there is attraction but you don’t act on it simply because you think you can get someone better looking.

 

Also old is strictly pictures so that’s all you can go by people can’t show their personality or charisma.

 

When you meet someone in person they can show other traits that can make them attractive even if they’d objectively not the hottest person.

[central]

To me, attractiveness falls in a range. If I have several prospects, I'll go with the one(s) I find most attractive, so I will reject the ones I find less attractive. There is more to this than looks, of course, but I can usually decide if I can do better - and if that question even arises in my mind, then I know I can do better.

[MissBee]

Have there been people you were at least kind of attracted to but thought you can do better looks wise and/ or thought you were better looking then them so you decided not to give them a chance?

 

I’ve never understood that thinking but have heard it before.

 

I’m either attracted or I’m not. I don’t take into consideration if I can do “better” looks wise or how this person stacks up to past partners physically.

 

I’ve dated women all over the map looks wise.

 

No.

 

I either like someone or I don't and liking someone for me is more than looks.

 

At the end of relationships or after getting to know someone I have thought I could do better, but it's more so about either them not treating me how I want to be treated or we're not compatible and I feel I can find a much more compatible match and better relationship. It's not about sizing them up on looks.

[LuckyM]

I agree that you really can't help who you fall in love with--it's human nature.

I know this from my own life. If you don't find love, often loves finds you as Patti Reagan wrote in her autobiography. You can either accept it or go kicking and screaming (figuratively.)

 

I recall a scene from the old TV show CHEERS, where a young woman walks

around the large bar, a man on every seat. As she passes each single man, she says aloud" I can do better than you!" and she then walks out the door.

Rude and memorable. Noteworthy because so many singles think the same thing, everywhere but no one shouts it.