25 (nearly 26) y/o male virgin

[Penguin_hugs]

Hello,

 

I just thought I would add my 2 cents as I was involved with a similar situation.

 

My BF was a 28yr old virgin when we had sex. We had met at a speed dating event. Had 8 dates in quite quick succession- and there was kissing and then fooling around by date 2/3. I had my first ever orgasm from oral sex by date 5 and our 7th date he even met my mum!

 

He had told me that while he was at university he had become a Catholic, seriously considered being a priest but had left religion about 18 months before he met me. (So I guess that had an impact)

 

We actually planned the day we were going to have sex- I wanted him to be able to stay over afterwards and us not to have any work restrictions. He asked me to be his girlfriend that evening, brought an overnight bag and then just casually dropped it in to conversation that when we had sex later- it would be his first time.

 

I have to admit that it surprised me a little (from his previous skills!) But I really appreciated that he told me. I really valued his honesty, aand because of that I readjusted my expectations and took on more of a teaching/ leading role because I wanted the experience to be as good as possible for him- particularly sice he had waited a while.

 

Later we spoke about whether he should have told me or not. I had mentioned that I did feel under more pressure- but that I really appreciated he had told me and we were able to work together to both have a good time and to teach him.

 

Months later he told me various things he had done over the years to try and educate himself. He had read a lot, studied diagrams, (porn- but not in a derogatory way), he had bought a fleshlight to experience not just his hand and once even rolled up towels and bedding in to a body shape to use with the fleshlight so that he could picture how a body would fit together with limbs etc!

 

I would say it depends on the circumstances of sex as to whether you tell the other person. If this is just a ONS in your head then probably don't- but if you want more of a relationship then tell the person and work with them.

 

Even now- over a year later- he has moments where he worries that he is still new to things- but we have a pretty wild and satisfying sex life in my eyes! And I've had more sex in the last year than I ever did previously.

[JustGettingBy]

As a similar aged virgin, also male:

 

Don't announce it. If you carry yourself confidently people won't know. Very few people know I'm a virgin, and many are shocked I don't have a gf. I had confidence problems up until a few months ago, and since improving that aspect of myself, I've noticed more women checking me out. There's no 'V' imprinted on your forehead, so people won't know unless you tell them.

 

If the 'secret' does come out, take responsibility but don't make a spectacle. Find a good sounding reason that makes it seem like no big deal. Say you used to have self limited beliefs (my reason), or you never found dating to be a priority, or never saw sex as a priority, or were saving yourself but only recently changed your mind, or had a strict upbringing, or just never 'connected' with anybody, or something like that. Just make sure it doesn't sound like you're blaming anyone (yourself or others).

 

Don't obsess over it. You likely have other qualities that make you desirable. Focus on those, and your virginity will seem like a smaller deal to you.

 

Accept that being a virgin doesn't make you inferior to others. Nothing wrong with wanting to lose it, but don't beat yourself up over the fact that you haven't.

 

Remember, you only need one woman to end it for you, and then you lose the title forever (not that it was that big a deal in the first place).

 

I've been taking some time to make myself more desirable recently, and am going to try to hit up the dating scene for serious very soon. I've noticed a lot of my changes are giving me a better attitude and I'm connecting better with other people (men, women-both ones I have an interest in and those who are purely platonic). I feel my day is coming soon, and the advice I've been getting has apparently helped others and is very similar to what many of the others in this thread have given you, yours should to.