carolineff Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 I have this job for almost 5 years and used to get along with my boss pretty well. His wife always seemed to dislike me. She is usually very friendly and talkative with everyone but seems to avoid talking to me in social events unless extremely necessary. I always interpreted that as what could be stupid jealousy from her, never anything serious. We don't even work at the same office, so I only report to him through e-mails, phone calls or when he travels to check up things - but that's never more than 5 times a year. During his last visit I couldn't help but feel creeped out about some stuff and I don't really know what to think about his actions. First off he started to ask questions about my dating life. I told him I would not be giving him details but he insisted that he wanted to know. All of a sudden he was giving me dating advice and saying that he wanted to go to my wedding when I marry. As a courtesy I invited him for dinner - it is normal practice to not let people that are travelling in to have dinner alone. He accepted and said that we would have a glass of wine and that he would be happier if I cooked for him at MY apartment. I obviously made up a lame excuse not to invite him there even though he was very insistent. We were chit-chatting about things, so I told him I moved to a new apartment and that I went to a vintage party. He asked for pictures of my apartment and myself dressed in vintage clothes. He made another comment as if I should invite him to meet my apartment AGAIN. I didn't react nicely as I felt he was being invasive. Long ago I mentioned him I used to take dance classes. He brought that up in a conversation asking me if I still danced and saying that he hoped I could dance for him one day. Even though I don't feel confortable at all, I have a hard time trying to understand if this is his awkward way of being friendly. At the same time I find these situations I mentioned above a little too much for my concept of what a business relationship should be, he on the other hand really enjoys talking to me about his life -past and present -, his family, his tastes of music, etc. I'm totally OK with him wanting to be friends, but I really don't think having him alone at my apartment for some wine would be anywhere close to acceptable. Am I misinterpreting? What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 What a creep, call HR and his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 Even though I don't feel confortable at all, I have a hard time trying to understand if this is his awkward way of being friendly. carolineff, are you really this naive? In today's business world, traveling execs don't wine and dine alone with opposite-sex subordinates. They also don't inquire about your personal life, try to wheedle their way into your apartment or ask you to dance for them. No wonder his wife's radar is up, he's obviously interested in you. Avoid him like the plague and, if he persists, involve HR... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 23, 2019 Share Posted April 23, 2019 His wife knows you're his type he chases or he may have been saying things about you that put her radar up. He's sleazy. You need to just say, No, sorry, can't do it. Don't explain. He will envision you have a man or something. Stop inviting him to anything. I know it's true about the out of town dinner thing, but he was way off base inviting himself to your apartment and is clearly looking for sex. Next time, be busy OR invite a group. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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