Dropping off text mid-conversation........disprectful or am I overraeacting?.....

[ladybug1984]

So i have a guy that has been very hot/cold/hot/cold for quite some time (known him several years, really only 'seeing' each other over last year) and had pretty much already decided it wasn't going to work. It's a LD situation so a lot of texting and some phone (mostly texting due to job situations) - he will pop in my life and then out for a few weeks and then back again. This last time, we talked off and on for a few days and the third day, we had been texting back and forth and out of the blue he goes silent............I can see that he is still online so know he is doing something. I get NOTHING and kind of hang out for another 45 min to see if he is going to jump back in the conversation. Nothing. So I type "hello?" and he immediately replies back and says "hello????" to which I respond - "The intent is noted. Thank you" and say nothing else that night (and neither does he) My last comment was meant to imply I know he has no intention of continuing the conversation..................I get a message this morning asking me why I responde dthat way and I 'misunderstood' because he had a VIP call come in. Couldn't he have taken 15 seconds to say "call coming in" or something like that? Or am I overrecting?

 

 

Had other questionable things not been happening I would probably just blown this off, but given other behaviors have been "off" am a little more sensitive to it.

 

Thoughts?

[BaileyB]

He is only about to come and go from your life because you allow it.

[hippychick3]

It sounds like you're not really in a relationship with this guy. I think your "texting" expectations are too high especially given the status of this "non-relationship." In general, keeping up a texting conversation for longer than a few minutes can get tiring and boring. It's not always meant to mimic real life conversations....it's just snippets of stuff. Most people don't have time or desire to just text indefinitely. And many times, there isn't really a "conclusion" to the texting convo. If you want a sustained conversation with someone, talk on the phone or get together in person.

Edited April 24, 2019 by hippychick3

[BaileyB]

Considering that you have been waiting for this man to divorce his wife and now that he has and he appears to be playing the field, I don’t think the timeliness by which he responds to your texts is actually your concern here...

[LivingWaterPlease]

The way you described his behavior other than the texting incident sounds to me as if you're not happy with the way he treats you.

 

The texting incident, hmmmm, meh. I'd need to know his texting pattern in general before making a judgment.

 

My friends who text me all have varied styles and I would only be concerned if they broke away from their general texting pattern.

[Mr. Lucky]

he appears to be playing the field

 

Well, at least we now know whom the "VIP call" was from.

 

Afraid my instincts were the same as Bailey's. ladybug1984, he's slow to respond to you because he's multi-tasking various other text streams with ladies-in-waiting just like you...

 

Mr. Lucky

[elaine567]

The bottom line is that whether he was in bed with someone, texting his "harem", watching Netflix or cutting his toenails... he didn't want to stop doing it to speak to you.

People who are interested act interested.

Yes he could have text you back "call coming in" or the like but he didn't bother as you are not a priority to him.

Take the hint.

 

Newly divorced men playing the field or glad to be "free", or just lost in their own heads post divorce do not make good bfs...

[ashteller]

The bottom line is that whether he was in bed with someone, texting his "harem", watching Netflix or cutting his toenails... he didn't want to stop doing it to speak to you.

 

People who are interested act interested.

 

What if they are interested but are falling back because they need space?

[d0nnivain]

I can never tell when a texting conversation is over. If it just stops, I assume it's over, no harm, no foul. But for you to be paying attention to his on line behavior & then get snippy about it is an overreaction on your part.

 

Given what others have posted about the overall nature of your relationship: LD & you waiting him to get a divorce, his texting behavior that has upset you so is only a symptom of a much larger problem: you are more into him then he cares about you. This is not sustainable. In your shoes I'd walk away & tell him to hit you up when the ink is dry on his order of divorce.

[elaine567]

What if they are interested but are falling back because they need space?

 

People who are truly interested rarely need "space".

When things are going very well, space never enters their heads. Each respects the other and they know when to be close and when to give the other a bit of leeway. It is natural and flows.

 

Demanding or specifying "space" is not a natural phenomenon.

"Space" can be required when needy, over clingy people get carried away or it is the sign of a person who is emotionally avoidant or commitment phobic or it can indicate a person who is just not into you.

ALL -> trouble ahead.

Requiring "space" is rarely a good thing.