What constitutes creepy behavior?

[preraph]

l'm glad you said people , because women can be creepy to believe me. l've had some crap over the years , even hanging outside my house once or twice, even a stalker and a few other things .

So shyt like that is creepy no matter who it is, even to a guy.

 

YES! Women can be creepy as well. The phyiscal threat is not as great to men from women as it is for women from men, but they are scary to other women as well. Men usually don't take female stalking very seriously because the percentage of violent women are so minute compared to the percentage of violent men. But they can mess up your life in lots of other ways, that's for sure.

 

My first stalker as a female prostitute. I didn't know she was one in college, where I met her and we became friends, but I knew something was off because she had this little older creepy lady always monitoring her and no good explanation. I assumed drugs. Nope, that was her pimp. I was young and naive and it took a long time to figure it out. Once I did, I dodged her and moved and she found out where I was working and got a job there. I was honest with her about couldn't be around her anymore, but she didn't give up that easy. She finally did though.

Edited April 25, 2019 by preraph

[RecentChange]

are millionaire-men ever creepy? (or millionaire-women, come to that)

 

When I was a teenager I worked in a high end riding stable. Some of our customers were extremely wealthy, and yes some were quite creepy with the young women who worked there.

 

Leering, inappropriate comments etc - wealth does not remove creepy (unless you are down to sell yourself I suppose).

[JuneL]

are millionaire-men ever creepy? (or millionaire-women, come to that)

 

Why not? Have you not heard people say the orange man is creepy?

 

I can understand if one claims nobody would think a charming good looking person is creepy; that’s why certain charming sociopaths can get away with so much.

[preraph]

^ Creeps who are accomplished con artists are the most dangerous kind. And a lot of psychopaths are accomplished con artists because they had to learn to mimic normal behavior since they were different.

[Shining One]

Women have instincts of "off" behavior even before it gets to the obvious point, and those instincts are a survival instinct from the dawn of time because women had it rough in cave man days and had to learn to dodge trouble as best they could, and these instincts are as legitimate as when a lower mammal senses a predator nearby. They're real and valid, and no one should ignore them.

What would you say is the accuracy percentage of this "danger sense"?

[Logo]

I don't know if its a set up thing for the video, but there are a couple of video's that show some guy in an older nondescript sedan ask women waiting for a bus if they want/need a ride...All of them said no and gave the guy a dirty look...Same guy, same clothes, pulls up in a new Lambo and most get in gladly, fawning and giggling then asking the guy if he's an actor or a tech company guru ...

 

TFY

 

 

I'd be curious to rent a Lambo one day and try it out myself.

 

 

 

What am I saying. I don't need to rent a Lambo, I've got a Ferrari.

 

 

Ladies?

[basil67]

Meh, it's just a word used extremely egregiously by women to try and control the behaviour of men they don't approve of by appealing to the judgement of those present. Thus the man is supposed to feel suitably shamed and vacate the area so the woman no longer even has to look at him.

 

I have never known a woman to tell a guy he was creepy to his face. Remember that someone who is creepy comes with a vibe which makes another person feel threatened....so it makes more sense to get away from them without making matters worse.

 

That said I could imagine a woman saying "get lost creep" to a guy who was trying to chat her up. But in this situation, the word creep is just a generic insult and could be substituted with just about any other generic insult. In such a situation, he was simply annoying rather than actually creepy.

[LuckyM]

Basically, any behavior that a woman does not like may be regarded as creepy.

It is a catch all word. If she likes you, that's cool. If not, you are creepy. Or act creepy.

[preraph]

What would you say is the accuracy percentage of this "danger sense"?

 

Sorry, hadn't seen this before today. I think you should never ignore your instincts. Now, it's true there are people who have pathological anxiety or that sort of thing and are afraid of everything. But a balanced person with no glaring mental illness themself should listen to their instinct. The skill to notice small things that trip a warning in us goes back to earliest man. It's crazy to try to ignore it.

 

What is most frightening to me is when my radar does not go off. And that happens. There are people who are so adept at covering up their predatory leanings that they can totally disarm you by mimicking charm and other personality traits. Those are dangerous predators. If only instinct was enough. Maybe one day we'll develop better radar for those types too. Maybe they're just too new on the scene.

 

But don't ignore your gut.

[preraph]

Basically, any behavior that a woman does not like may be regarded as creepy.

It is a catch all word. If she likes you, that's cool. If not, you are creepy. Or act creepy.

 

I think it's true that unwanted sustained attention is creepy.

[MuddyFootprints]

I'm an old creep magnet. And I'm getting too old for that ****!

 

Stay out of my personal space, don't touch me, and don't make inappropriate comments. It's not funny or even remotely flattering.

 

I'mcreepedout****offouttahere.

[guest569]

Hi ESquared.

Have you been labelled as creepy before? Why do you ask? Why do you think you have come on too strong?

 

So many things could be creepy. And yes, attractive people can be creeps too.

[alphamale]

I think it's true that unwanted sustained attention is creepy.

 

I went out with this chick once and didn't call her back. In turn she started calling me every day for 3 month and leaving voicemails

[lana-banana]

Mr. Lucky said it best: behavior becomes creepy as soon as it violates boundaries. A guy who tries to chat with you isn't a creep. A guy who tries to chat with you when you're wearing headphones and turned in the opposite direction, and doesn't give up even after you've ignored him multiple times, is a creep.

 

Another way to think of "violating boundaries" is to think about behavior that makes you feel targeted and unsafe. Someone trying to get you in his car is creepy. Someone trying to separate you from your friends at a bar is creepy. (You may think it's fine because you just want to talk to her one-on-one; she may worry about her safety.) Someone who follows you around is creepy. A guy who calls you once is no big deal but a guy who leaves 20 voicemails is a creep.

 

I don't know why people are acting like it's hypocritical that physical attraction plays a role in determining where these boundaries are. A man would have a different reaction if a plain Jane asked for his phone number versus Scarlett Johansson doing the same thing. Your boundaries can change, and that's okay. All that matters is respecting someone's desire to not engage with you.

[some_username1]

Mr. Lucky said it best: behavior becomes creepy as soon as it violates boundaries. A guy who tries to chat with you isn't a creep. A guy who tries to chat with you when you're wearing headphones and turned in the opposite direction, and doesn't give up even after you've ignored him multiple times, is a creep.

 

Another way to think of "violating boundaries" is to think about behavior that makes you feel targeted and unsafe. Someone trying to get you in his car is creepy. Someone trying to separate you from your friends at a bar is creepy. (You may think it's fine because you just want to talk to her one-on-one; she may worry about her safety.) Someone who follows you around is creepy. A guy who calls you once is no big deal but a guy who leaves 20 voicemails is a creep.

 

I don't know why people are acting like it's hypocritical that physical attraction plays a role in determining where these boundaries are. A man would have a different reaction if a plain Jane asked for his phone number versus Scarlett Johansson doing the same thing. Your boundaries can change, and that's okay. All that matters is respecting someone's desire to not engage with you.

 

Not at all, there is no such thing as 'bad publicity' to most rational males and even though we might not explicitly say as much we are flattered on some level as female attention is never a bad thing, in the same way that no man would be disgusted if an unattractive woman were to admit that she fantasised about him in bed etc.

 

It's totally the opposite for women because women hold so much power in the sexual marketplace as it is that being told that Joe Blow finds them attractive adds nothing of value to them, even worse some (especially the younger ones), drunk on that power, can't handle such a situation with good grace and will go the whole immature hog and physically exclaim 'that guy is sooo gross!' like no lesser man should even entertain the prospect of desiring her.

[preraph]

Women don't like creeps partly because creeps have a high potential to be dangerous to women. Going back to the beginning of time. If some sick man is flattered by creepy female behavior, he's got some issues, but one thing he probably doesn't have to worry about is that person getting violent with them sometime.

[alphamale]

Women don't like creeps partly because creeps have a high potential to be dangerous to women. Going back to the beginning of time. If some sick man is flattered by creepy female behavior, he's got some issues, but one thing he probably doesn't have to worry about is that person getting violent with them sometime.

 

the ability to harm exists in both sexes, men do it physically and women do it emotionally

[alphamale]

I'd be curious to rent a Lambo one day and try it out myself.

 

I owned a red corvette convertible for 5 years. Believe me I could do almost anything in that car. The women loved it

[Shining One]

Years ago, I had a woman refer to me as "some creep" to a coworker after I walked her to her car on a rainy night with my umbrella. I have no idea why she accepted my offer if she thought I was creepy. My recent ex also called it "creepy" when I picked a screwdriver up from the floor with my toes.

[E-Squared]

Hi ESquared.

Have you been labelled as creepy before? Why do you ask? Why do you think you have come on too strong?

 

So many things could be creepy. And yes, attractive people can be creeps too.

 

Yes, I have been looked at as creepy before. Some occurred through misunderstandings; others due to mistakes I had made, like coming on too strong because of how socially inept I was. It led to me being afraid of expressing interest in women, like looking at them or talking to them because I would be afraid of being perceived as a creep. As you can see, some incidents took a toll on me. This was in the past, though.

[some_username1]

Yes, I have been looked at as creepy before. Some occurred through misunderstandings; others due to mistakes I had made, like coming on too strong because of how socially inept I was. It led to me being afraid of expressing interest in women, like looking at them or talking to them because I would be afraid of being perceived as a creep. As you can see, some incidents took a toll on me. This was in the past, though.

 

Yes exactly- that’s the whole point of the word: if they can shame an undesirable male into taking himself out of the game completely then they have scored a great victory.

I spent years being afraid too after every declaration of interest in my youth was not only met with polite rejection but actual disgust.

 

These days I can’t believe I let women shame me into feeling bad about myself simply for being attracted to a girl and being interested in dating her and I encourage men to laugh at such reactions because it usually says more about the woman than anything the man did wrong.

[greenlights0000]

Even good looking guys can be creepy.

[Garcon1986]

- asking out girls one after the other is creepy

- chatting with women who don't want you around is creepy, but the same sentence coming from a smiling version of you may be less creepy

- a hot guy saying the same thing as an average guy can get away with things that the average guy can't

 

At least in my upbringing, combating the stereotype of "creepy Asian guy" involved imitating those with great charisma and a great smile. I am constantly passed over for the guy that someone will divorce in one year because that other guy is "hotter" or "is more edgy". I have plenty of people who tell me I am extremely well put together though. Hence - talent can be creepy too. I had to find my social niche.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I'd like to know what you guys think. There was a time when I used to be afraid of approaching women or showing interest in women, because I had bad experience of making a girl feel weird. I look back and may have come off a bit strong at times, but that was all in the past.

 

I will note that there are people out there who don't understand how boundaries work and can go far as to make some people uncomfortable. Then of course there are people who will just accuse someone of doing something to make them uncomfortable, when the person didn't really do anything. I have even read about how some people believe "it's only creepy if you're unattractive."

 

But there are creeps out there who don't understand a thing or two about boundaries, or even bring up subjects that are NSFW.

 

So what do you consider creepy behavior?

 

Creepy behavior is only considered creepy if the recipient of said behavior feels it is creepy.

 

For instance, taking upskirt pics (I would strong advise against this, but the point remains) is only creepy to the many women who feel it would be creepy, but there are some that it wouldn't be creepy to. It might be exciting instead. So, if you find a woman who likes that and ask them you'll get a completely different answer. I'd say a majority of them would probably answer that it's creepy though.

 

Point is, you're not going to know until someone tells you or shows you or lets you know. If you do something you're not sure is creepy, and someone tells you it's creepy, then perhaps rethink doing that particular thing and do something else. A general rule of thumb is this: If you have to ask if it's creepy, you should probably not try it first.

[alphamale]

- asking out girls one after the other is creepy

- chatting with women who don't want you around is creepy, but the same sentence coming from a smiling version of you may be less creepy

- a hot guy saying the same thing as an average guy can get away with things that the average guy can't

 

At least in my upbringing, combating the stereotype of "creepy Asian guy" involved imitating those with great charisma and a great smile. I am constantly passed over for the guy that someone will divorce in one year because that other guy is "hotter" or "is more edgy". I have plenty of people who tell me I am extremely well put together though. Hence - talent can be creepy too. I had to find my social niche.

 

smart people are less likely to think of Asians as creepy