My supervisor is bad mouthing me behind my back?

[AngelLove]

I've had couple co workers tell me that someone told them not to talk to me and stay away from me. They wouldn't tell me who this information is coming from.

 

One of the girls that I'm very friendly towards to me told me that 3 people had come up to her and tell her not to talk to me because I'm dangerous...which is not true. The last straw was last week, when I came in to work and the girl I'm friendly with was treating me differently. She was very standoffish and she would not make eye contact. I just thought she was just having a bad day. She finally spoke to me and informed me that it was brought to her attention that I've been throwing her under the buss to the supervisors. Her and I do the same position and I replace the days that she's off.

 

So basically instead of taking responsibility of my actions, I'm pining everything on her. I was baffled because I didn't do any of these things I was getting accused of. I told her that I didn't do it but she wasn't convinced and she continued to keep her distance and gave me a cold shoulder

 

I was like okay fine, I'm going to talk to my manager to get to the bottom of this because it's not fair for other people to manipulate you and turn you against me for no reason. That's when she believe me. But she doesn't want me to take it to the office because she doesn't want to get involved in the investigation process because what they are doing is basically harassment.

 

Now everything is back to normal between us now that she knows that it was all lies. This is starting to get to me so I'm considering quitting the position because this isn't the first time I've gotten blamed for other things in our position.

 

I strongly suspected my supervisor who was behind it. He micromanaged me and try to get into me into trouble over minor infractions that other people get away with. I dropped it and moved on...until the same lady started telling me that people are are still talking behind my back but she wouldn't say who it is

 

Finally yesterday she confirmed that it is the supervisor I already suspected is saying these thinks about me. Basically he tells one thing then twist it around to other people when I'm not around and bad mouth me

 

I want to quit the position that i directly work with him and complain to my manager but at the same time i don't want to throw my co worker under the buss

 

What would you do?

[Mr. Lucky]

He micromanaged me and try to get into me into trouble over minor infractions that other people get away with.

 

But they're still infractions, right? And one man's "micromanaged" is another's supervised, well within his job description.

 

AngelLove, no judgement from me. But most people are singularly unable to view their actions outside the context of their own needs, wants and assumptions. Would be easy for me to tell you "he's wrong, you're right", but that may not be the case here. You might want to take a step back and objectively look at what's going on.

 

Were it me, I'd initiate a conversation with the supervisor...

 

Mr. Lucky

[d0nnivain]

Do not complain to the manager. Go to the manager & tell the manager that you are having difficulty working with the supervisor & it has come to your attention that supervisor is criticizing you to other employees thereby compounding your difficulties at work. Ask the manager for suggestions you could employ to do your job better & smooth over the supervisor's problems.

 

You say that the supervisor criticized you for infractions that others get away with. That attitude will get you in trouble every time. If there are rules or procedures conform to them. Do not worry about what others do.

 

Your best bet would be to work with the supervisor to make sure that your performance meets or exceeds his expectations. Instead you blame him for you your failures & cry that you are being micromanaged.

[AngelLove]

But they're still infractions, right? And one man's "micromanaged" is another's supervised, well within his job description.

 

AngelLove, no judgement from me. But most people are singularly unable to view their actions outside the context of their own needs, wants and assumptions. Would be easy for me to tell you "he's wrong, you're right", but that may not be the case here. You might want to take a step back and objectively look at what's going on.

 

Were it me, I'd initiate a conversation with the supervisor...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

You see, my issue with is, He doesn't directly address any issues he has with me. even those minor infractions that I'm oblivious to. Instead he reports me to the manager. The the real issue here is fauvortism. This still doesn't justify him spreading lies about me and try to turn people against me. He's being unprofessional

[AngelLove]

Do not complain to the manager. Go to the manager & tell the manager that you are having difficulty working with the supervisor & it has come to your attention that supervisor is criticizing you to other employees thereby compounding your difficulties at work. Ask the manager for suggestions you could employ to do your job better & smooth over the supervisor's problems.

 

You say that the supervisor criticized you for infractions that others get away with. That attitude will get you in trouble every time. If there are rules or procedures conform to them. Do not worry about what others do.

 

Your best bet would be to work with the supervisor to make sure that your performance meets or exceeds his expectations. Instead you blame him for you your failures & cry that you are being micromanaged.

 

That's not the main issue here..The issue is this supervisor doesn't directly address any issues he has with my job performance instead he reports me to the manager. Another issue is he's 2 faced. He tells me to do one thing and I follow his . instructions Then he turns around and tell other employees that he asked me to do such and such and i was complaining and didn't want to do it. Another thing is, he tells me not to do something. Then I stop doing. Then he tells other employee that i don't do such and such which are the things he precisely told me not to do . He basically twist the truth and bad mouth me when I'm not around. That's my problem with him

 

I only mentioned him micromanaging and targeting me to support his problem with me. and it's fact that he plays favoritism and chooses he wants to go after. after all I'm not perfect and make mistakes from time to time

[elaine567]

This is what tends to happen when you start reporting coworkers.

You become highly unpopular, people do not trust you, they make life difficult for you and try to force you to leave.

[AngelLove]

This is what tends to happen when you start reporting coworkers.

You become highly unpopular, people do not trust you, they make life difficult for you and try to force you to leave.

 

This is has nothing to do with the other thread. The co workers I reported work in completely unrelated departments from us. It was different issue and not relevant to this supervisor. It doesn't affect him in any way. It's also part of his job to report these things as well.

 

Not to meantion this supervisor has it out for me. Way before I reported these co workers

[Mr. Lucky]

Not to meantion this supervisor has it out for me. Way before I reported these co workers

 

You're personalizing what is most like general incompetence on this supervisor's part. They're bad at their job, being nearby you're just collateral damage.

 

Again, is there some reason you're resisting a discussion with this person?

 

Mr. Lucky

[d0nnivain]

That is why I told you to talk to the manager about how you can more effectively work with the manager. The manager should be able to you navigate the seemingly contradictory instructions.

 

When you get instructions from the supervisor in the short term do confirm them, preferably in writing. Then you can show that you complied with the instructions that you were given rather than what you think you were told.

 

Finally although you think reporting of the minor infractions has nothing to do with this, it probably does. I suspect you are not the most popular person at work & among your colleagues you are not viewed as a team player. That is probably coloring your supervisor's view of you.

[preraph]

If you feel you have to leave, get a job first because as long as you're employed there, the new employer knows (if you tell him) that this company cannot give you a reference since you're still employed. If you quit and then try to apply for jobs, they will be calling this company where you'll get a bad review.

[Amy1992]

I only mentioned him micromanaging and targeting me to support his problem with me. and it's fact that he plays favoritism and chooses he wants to go after. after all I'm not perfect and make mistakes from time to time

 

 

You said that a colleague claimed to have been warned that you're 'dangerous' and that they've been told not to talk to you. If people you work with are genuinely that unhappy with you, then I don't get why some formal disciplinary action hasn't taken against you. At least that way you'd get a clear picture of what it is you've done wrong (if anything). If people are being told to distance themselves from you then that's deliberate isolation which is not an acceptable way for anybody to be treated at work. It's bullying. Even if you've done something wrong in the workplace, this is not the way for management to handle it.

 

I get a picture of your workplace being run by quite immature people who don't have much skill or confidence as managers and who either participate actively in the unprofessional(bullying from the sound of it) behaviour, or don't know what to do about it. What kind of business is it? Is there anybody even remotely sensible and trustworthy at your work who you could have a private chat with about these problems?

[Amy1992]

This is has nothing to do with the other thread. The co workers I reported work in completely unrelated departments from us. It was different issue and not relevant to this supervisor. It doesn't affect him in any way. It's also part of his job to report these things as well.

 

Not to meantion this supervisor has it out for me. Way before I reported these co workers

 

I just glanced at that thread. You think the problem you're describing here has nothing to do with the other thread, but both threads are about issues you're having at work. The people you reported might work in different departments, but if it's all under the umbrella of one company then you can't really say the departments are unrelated to eachother.

 

In some situations whistleblowing is a very courageous and correct thing to do. It looks as though some posters on the other thread felt you did the right thing. Personally there's no way I'd report colleagues for something like that. I'd address it with them directly and tell them I thought it was wrong, but I wouldn't report them. There's whistleblowing and then there's tittle tattling. You've described doing the latter in the other thread. You might think that incident is completely unrelated to what's going on for you now, but I doubt people in your workplace see it the same way. Just because people work in different departments doesn't mean they don't communicate with eachother, and somebody reporting an incident like that is bound to spread like wildfire.

[AngelLove]

You're personalizing what is most like general incompetence on this supervisor's part. They're bad at their job, being nearby you're just collateral damage.

 

Again, is there some reason you're resisting a discussion with this person?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

He is just being a jerk for no reason. I'm just going to quit the position and tell the manager why. I will stay casual that way I won't get to work with him as much

[AngelLove]

You said that a colleague claimed to have been warned that you're 'dangerous' and that they've been told not to talk to you. If people you work with are genuinely that unhappy with you, then I don't get why some formal disciplinary action hasn't taken against you. At least that way you'd get a clear picture of what it is you've done wrong (if anything). If people are being told to distance themselves from you then that's deliberate isolation which is not an acceptable way for anybody to be treated at work. It's bullying. Even if you've done something wrong in the workplace, this is not the way for management to handle it.

 

I get a picture of your workplace being run by quite immature people who don't have much skill or confidence as managers and who either participate actively in the unprofessional(bullying from the sound of it) behaviour, or don't know what to do about it. What kind of business is it? Is there anybody even remotely sensible and trustworthy at your work who you could have a private chat with about these problems?

 

I work in long term care and i was thinking to address these issues to my mananger and tell her why I'm quitting the position

[d0nnivain]

Get another job before you quit.

[Art_Critic]

I work in long term care and i was thinking to address these issues to my mananger and tell her why I'm quitting the position

 

I agree with Donnivain, secure another job first.. no sense in letting this follow you from one job to another via the grapevine and calling references... once you get tagged it can be hard to get out from under it.

 

also.. you can bet department managers meet and discuss what is going on in their departments as well as meet with their managers so you can also bet your giving up your coworker has gotten around, even if your manager kept it quiet and they reported the other person someone else may have, even the employee who was reported knew so they may have started a rumor.

 

time to nip this in the bud and go find another job, quickly...and when you interview don't bad mouth this company if they ask you why you are looking for another job

 

Good Luck...

[AngelLove]

I've been with the company for 7 years and I have benefits, even though I'm not full time. I'm not looking into leaving the entire company over this. I have a lot to loose. What I meant is, I want to quit the position..the line that i directly work with him. Which is only only 30 hours bi weekly. My plan is to stay casual and pick up shifts on other lines that are different hours from his shifts and I won't be directly be dealing with him as much. Also, I just had an interview for a second job. So that way I will have back up income and I will still keep this job and my benefits

Edited April 26, 2019 by AngelLove