How to handle older guy staring at girlfriend situation

[Jrez]

Me and my girlfriend been together for 3 years. We are both 34. So some guy I say hi and bye to that lives in my building stares at my girlfriend everytime we are on the elevator together. My apartment building has 13 floors and I live on the 6th. He lives on the 7th. He’s a older dude in his mid 50s I assume. Everytime we on the elevator together he would speak to me and ask how my parents is doing but stare at my girlfriend half the elevator ride at the same time.

 

He had stopped doing it for a while cause he got a younger girlfriend recently but today he did it once again. My girlfriend said she didn’t notice cause she doesn’t pay attention to him or anyone in my building.

 

 

I’m trying to decide if I should say something to him about it or just ignore it? I know if I say something about it it may cause a fight. I’m not trying to fight over the situation but am upset about it

 

 

 

Another thing I’m going to mention is that he got into a fight with another guy in my building named Craig last year. I don’t know the whole story but Craig accused him of wanting his girl. The guy told him that he doesn’t want his girl. Craig decided to hit him anyway and lost the fight. Craig lost.

 

 

Another thing The same guy I’m talking about also has cancer

[mark clemson]

Consider politely telling him that it makes you uncomfortable and asking that he stop. Suggest you tell your GF first just in case he decides to be a dork and bring it up with her around and then she gets on your case about it in front of him. Embarrassing.

 

IMO not worth a fight over - avoid that. Not sure a 50 y.o. is going to beat a 34 y.o. but even so - if you were to win he might have more money for a lawyer, so there's that to consider. Avoid it.

[preraph]

Well, he sounds like a creep. I would handle it in a more indirect manner. I would warn your gf beforehand and then I would place my body right in front of hers between him and her for the ride. He'll likely understand what you're doing if it happens more than once, but what can he say? Please move, you're obstructing my view?

 

Don't get into a fight.

[gaius]

Preraph has the right idea.

 

I had to straighten out one old fart. Paid him a visit and nicely gave him the hint while helping him out with something. And he got it as it hasn't been a problem since.

[thefooloftheyear]

Not that I wouldn't tell someone where to stick it, but that complex seems a little shady to me...I'd be on the first train out of Loserville and wouldn't look back...I have no time or inclination to bother with that crap...Even if you intimidate or knock the guys teeth in, now what? Worry that he takes a baseball bat to your car when you sleep? Eff that shyt..

 

TFY

[d0nnivain]

Don't get in the elevator car with him.

[Wallysbears]

Your girlfriend doesn't notice or care...so you do nothing.

 

Except make plans to move to a nicer place to live.

 

He's not bothering HER, you are the one feeling insecure. So get over it.

[amaysngrace]

Maybe he just wants to put a face to the sounds he hears coming through the floor.

[elaine567]

He's not bothering HER, you are the one feeling insecure. So get over it.

 

And this is not the first "insecure" thread you have made.

He is an old guy with cancer he may not even see that well either, and you are 34 and in your prime. I guess she is NOT sizing him up as potential bf material so you need to chill out.

Older people can be just "friendly", I know it is kind of an alien concept...

[Youngestdaughter]

All my life,vI have been accused of staring at people when I was just staring, as far as I knew, straight ahead. They just happened to be in my field of vision. I've even been accused of staring at people like I wanted them- by females! And I'm very hetero. Please consider that possibility before you start throwing punches.

[FMW]

Unless your girlfriend expresses concern about it or he actually makes some kind of physical move on her, I see no reason to confront him. He's old, he's sick. I see no threat to either of you from what you wrote.

[anika99]

Your girlfriend doesn't notice or care...so you do nothing.

 

Except make plans to move to a nicer place to live.

 

He's not bothering HER, you are the one feeling insecure. So get over it.

 

Lol...this was my thoughts too. This isn't a man protecting his gf, this is a male ego "Stop looking at MY woman" thing. The OP's concern isn't that the guy is disrespecting his gf, his concern is that the guy is disrespecting HIM. Since his gf hasn't noticed and isn't bothered I'd say do nothing or take the poster's advice that said position yourself to block his view.

[BaileyB]

Unless your girlfriend expresses concern about it or he actually makes some kind of physical move on her, I see no reason to confront him. He's old, he's sick. I see no threat to either of you from what you wrote.

 

I agree.

 

When you are done with this guy... maybe you can take care of the kid who stepped in line before your girlfriend at the ice cream store, the old lady who pinched your cheeks and told you how cute you are, or kick the dog who just peed on your grass...

 

Seriously, he is no threat to you. If he doesn’t make your girlfriend uncomfortable, ignore him. But, if he makes you uncomfortable... don’t get in the elevator with him. Take the stairs - it’s good for your health!

Edited April 27, 2019 by BaileyB

[preraph]

Uh, old men can absolutely be lechers, too, though. So I'm not jumping to conclusions. The reason it may not bother her now is because she's with her bf so she's not having to worry about it. I think if she were alone, she might be more creeped out. Anyway, the poor man is dying, I guess, so certainly just do sensible avoidance techniques.

[BaileyB]

Uh, old men can absolutely be lechers, too, though.

 

Of course they can. I personally, would be really creeped out. But, I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to say anything and/or get into a fight. I would avoid him at all cost.

 

Surely, in a building of that size there are many residents and you are not likely to see this guy... unless he sits in the lobby greeting people.

[major_merrick]

I'd be friendly, but keep myself between him and the girl. He hasn't tried to touch, and hasn't said anything inappropriate. Some people are just awkward, grew up in a different culture, etc... If it really bothers you, take the stairs, change your routine, or find a more creative way to avoid him.

 

HOWEVER...sometimes the "sixth sense" is accurate, so don't totally ignore your feelings. Be alert and prepared. If he actually does something, like lay a hand on her - then act swiftly and with purpose.

[mightybop]

Craig lost.

 

Dang do you think you can take out pops if you need to? He may be a good fighter. What happened to Craig? Knocked out?

 

But seriously, if this guy is causing trouble by obviously checking out women, making people feel uncomfortable, you could say something about it, although if he's dying of cancer he probably feels like he has nothing to lose and is just doing whatever he wants to at this point. Best to just avoid him as much as you can.