Does it get on your nerves when women say they don’t need a man?

[Oceansfun]

These days, maybe marriage isn’t necessary or I’m fine thinking women don’t need to have kids- because well some people aren’t fit to be parents. But it drives me insane when some women make public announcements saying that don’t need a man.

 

For example this 30 year old co worker is constantly making posts saying how men are scum, how gross it is to be in a relationship, that she’s a big shot because she bought a house by herself without a man. That’s great and all, but in all seriousness everyone needs someone, we all need that human affection like cuddling, holding hands, the human touch.

 

I can say that I don’t need a man only because I’m single and my dating life is at a stand still, why lie to yourself about not wanting a man? I want to fall in love, I want to find a great man someday. I don’t know why she’s such a man hater just seems she might be insecure about not having anyone?

Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and edit downthread quotes

[amaysngrace]

Maybe she needs to boost herself up because she can’t land a good man or maybe she’s just very proud that she’s rockin life on her own.

 

Either way you’re just different people. Accept the difference more and question it less and you’ll be alright.

[d0nnivain]

Sounds more like she is trying to save face.

 

I'm happily married & I don't NEED a man. I have bought myself a house, cars, nice vacations, jewelry etc. I got by just fine into my 40s being single, never married. That said, I wanted a man for all of the companionship reasons you pointed out.

 

Don't be too hard on the woman you mentioned. You analyzed it correctly -- she's turning bitter because she is insecure that she doesn't have it all. Treat her with more compassion then she is showing others but concentrate on getting what you want out of life.

[basil67]

You don't know the history of why she's saying this. I'm guessing there's some abuse behind her statements. Or perhaps she's lonely and covering it with bravado.

 

IS she lying to herself? You don't really know, so don't assume. But people who do lie to themselves do so because the reality is too difficult to face.

[Wallysbears]

Who cares what she says? Maybe she is insecure. Maybe she was hurt. Maybe she's tired of hearing "when are you going to get married and have kids" from people.

 

Not your life, not your problem to solve.

 

 

 

But as to "needing" a man. I didn't "need" my husband. Still *technically* don't. I'm perfectly capable of standing on my own two feet without him. But I'm damn grateful and happy to have him and I tell him that regularly.

[Springsummer]

Yes, most women don't need a man nowadays. You may better off using pets as a companion than many men.

 

It all depends on what kind of man you found, I suppose. some men are great to have, some better to be leave alone.

[stillafool]

Not all women want to be married especially now that they can make more money than most men. Perhaps she's been hurt or who knows she may engage in casual sex but doesn't want the responsibility or hassle of a boyfriend.

[elaine567]

...but in all seriousness everyone needs someone, we all need that human affection like cuddling, holding hands, the human touch.

 

You are projecting YOUR feelings on the subject onto "everyone".

[2.50 a gallon]

I had started dating this gal, she was divorced and now raising her two kids. In our talks she had let it be known she was independent and did not need a man. Not only good looking, but she was also a sweet gal and I wanted to get on the good side of her. One day, we got into a discussion about how her back yard could use a good mowing and how I had a weed wacker at my place that would work just fine. So I brought over the wacker and she took over and mowed her yard.

Another time she called and said how her water pump on her car had broken and could I come over to help. When I got there she already had the pump out of the car and only needed a ride to get a replacement.

Another time she called and had a leaky pipe. So I came over with my tools. Which she looked over and said that's the one I need and proceeded to fix it herself.

Then one night at 3 in the morning I got a desperate phone call as she had an animal in her bathroom and could I help?

The animal turned out to be a very large sewer roach. Which I got rid off.

Ever since she has decided she likes a man around the house. We have now been together for 23 plus years.

[thefooloftheyear]

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

 

TFY

[stillafool]

Ever since she has decided she likes a man around the house. We have now been together for 23 plus years.

 

This is such a sweet story! Aaaaahh

Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[some_username1]

Squeaky wheels need the most grease...and even if in this case they don't, who cares?

 

It is annoying when people put this trash all over social media, it's like all that red pill stuff- great, why do we need to know about it? If you are fine without women/men then great but I would have thought that people who are *truly* fine don't need to shout about it in other people's faces all the time.

 

Anyway, good luck to her, I hope she is happy.

[Eternal Sunshine]

we all need that human affection like cuddling, holding hands, the human touch. I can say that I don’t need a man only because I’m single and my dating life is at a stand still, why lie to yourself about not wanting a man?

I don't need or want a man. Nothing to do with being independent - I just find relationships tedious and draining. As for human touch, only when I am crazy attracted to someone which happens once every 5 years or less.

 

I have actually spent way too long lying to myself and attempting online dating because I thought being in a relationship is normal. I am so much happier once I stopped.

 

You are right that everyone needs someone but it doesn't have to be a romantic partner. I have close friends and family who offer unconditional support- I find that more than enough.

Edited April 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Orokotikki]

Doesn't bother me, but I don't think I'm the only guy who hears that as equivalent to "Don't want a man" or "Can't get a man".

 

Sort of like how I think my friends would interpret if I said "I don't need a pontoon boat (or sports car, or etc)".

 

I know its a bit different though because sometimes single people feel like they get hounded about it by family or paired off friends.

[thefooloftheyear]

It's also a natural defense mechanism to make these proclamations...

 

Kind of like the sour grapes story...."I can't have it, so it must be no good"

 

Guys do it as well...

 

TFY

[Kitty Tantrum]

It annoys me in the same way as any other cliche phrase that people throw around for the purpose of hiding their feelings of insecurity or inadequacy behind the pretense of self-glorification. I've observed that the truer it actually is, the less likely a woman is to SAY it.

 

The WORST thing, though, is having other people try to tell ME that *I* don't need a man - as if it's some universal truth of which I am ignorant.

 

Yeah, okay, fine. I don't need a man... to wash the dishes.

[Woggle]

If I were single it would let me know who to avoid. If somebody who says that men are scum wants to take herself out of the dating pool it is a good thing. Whatever her reasons men are better off without somebody like her dating.

[Oceansfun]

There are times when a woman needs a man. For example-protection or self defense or for a man to defend a woman from creeps also when it comes to heavy lifting around the house-men are just more stronger than woman when it comes to that.

[mark clemson]

That’s great and all, but in all seriousness everyone needs someone, we all need that human affection like cuddling, holding hands, the human touch.

 

Actually some (fairly rare) folks really don't need that. But I think they tend not to proclaim it to the world since to them it's simply the way they naturally are.

 

 

I don’t know why she’s such a man hater just seems she might be insecure about not having anyone?

 

Seems like there's general agreement that you might be on to something there...

[todreaminblue]

maybe behind her words and left unsaid she might mean she just doesnt need ANY man...she might be waiting for the right man....

 

who knows why she doesnt need a man or what is left unsaid in her heart.....

 

but i do believe we arent meant to walk alone on life's journey...maybe she has felt she has had her time in the sun.....with a man...and her time...the sun has set.....i feel like that sometimes...my sun has set i have had my chances.....doesnt mean i would accept the right man if he came along..mayeb she feels the same as me....

 

.its just a time of acceptance i am walking by myself in the rain hopin' for blue skies....leavin that little tidbit unsaid...maybe like me she is jumpin in puddles by herself because she... like i do deserves to have some fun..and puddle jumping is a lost artform..

 

am i being too poetically obscure...sigh....too bad......smilin..

 

theres nothing wrong with accepting what happens to you in life...even if it isnt exactly what you want ...you have to find your own happiness an sometimes that happiness is going loner.....deb

[Wallysbears]

On the flip side of the coin...you should find some of the websites that exist where incels blame women for their state in life and shame every woman because they won't pay them any mind.

 

The internet is a crazy place and you will find LOTS of really out there assertions.

[Woggle]

Mgtow is pretty much the male version of this. People who dislike the opposite sex that much should stay away from them.

[JuneL]

Strictly speaking, nobody needs anybody. I like to think I would be able to survive if I was to be placed on an isolated island But with the right people and relationships (be that with family, friends, co-workers, or romantic partners), life can be much more fulfilling.

[preraph]

There are times when a woman needs a man. For example-protection or self defense or for a man to defend a woman from creeps also when it comes to heavy lifting around the house-men are just more stronger than woman when it comes to that.

 

I'm 66. The only time I've needed a man is it would be nice to have someone do repairs on my home for free. But guess what? I had a big social life when young, and none of my bfs knew how to do anything handy whatsoever. I'm handier than they were. So that blows that theory. Would a second income have been handy? Only if they weren't spending more than they make living beyond their means.

[Wallysbears]

There are times when a woman needs a man. For example-protection or self defense or for a man to defend a woman from creeps also when it comes to heavy lifting around the house-men are just more stronger than woman when it comes to that.

 

I have NEVER *needed* a man for self defense or to do heavy lifting. My Daddy raised me better than that.

 

Killing spiders? Well that's an entirely different subject. I'm apt to burn a place down when seeing a spider.

 

Money, strength or a kind smile and warm meal can get most any woman protection, home improvements or jars opened.