niji Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 (edited) I told he really just a few days ago I want her to be happy. And I genuinely do, I'm just finding it difficult to move on. No you don't. You want her to be happy, either single, or with you. You don't want her to be happy with another dude (which is what will most likely happen). I say that because we all say the cliche "I want you to be happy". And in our mind, we deceive ourselves, thinking we love that person and would love for that person to be happy. I said it to my crush, too, when I genuinely meant, "I want you to be happy with me, or single". I definitely was not wishing him to go out there, get with a chick, and tell me about it You can only say you genuinely want her to be happy when: she tells you she's getting married, and you get this sweet, full feeling in your stomach and this big grin on your face "Yay! She's going to be happy". Can you do that? If not, you don't genuinely want her to be happy; you want her to be happy with conditions attached (again, either as a single woman, or with you). When I told my best male friend that I was getting married (we've never been romantically interested in each other), he told me he went out that day and was singing as he was riding his bike, because he was so happy for me. That, is genuinely wanting someone to be happy. Not you right now. Not me when I was dealing with a heartbreak. The sooner you can come to term with: 1) You still love her and only want her to be happy WITH YOU, and 2) There's a very low probability that #1 will happen, because she's no longer interested. The sooner you can move on. Edited June 13, 2019 by niji Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anychance Posted June 13, 2019 Author Share Posted June 13, 2019 (edited) @niji.... That's fair enough. Yes I still love and want her but as much pain as I'm going through I don't want her to feel the same ( even though I know she isn't interested and probably isn't feeling the same) I want her to be happy. Of course it's killing me thinking of her being with someone else, but as much as I want her and as much as I wish I could put things right, I would feel wrong in wishing her anything but happiness. I don't hate her, some of my best times in my life (so far) were with her. It's a shame she doesn't feel the same way, and I'm still struggling to understand why because she didn't really tell me the reason Edited June 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anychance Posted June 16, 2019 Author Share Posted June 16, 2019 I met with another girl yesterday we had a good time, she really liked me but I didn't feel a spark. I didn't feel attracted to her. I was honest with her and she asked to be friends which is nice. Still feeling the pain of my ex moving on, I know I need to work on myself, my mind, I want my mind to be free of her. I keep trying to tell myself she's not giving me a second thought so why should I? If she can move on after three months, we had a three year relationship maybe she didn't like me that much after all Link to post Share on other sites
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