thefooloftheyear Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 She would annoy the shyt out of me....Im no dud, but good effing grief.... There are plenty of women that want sex without the dog and pony show... My guess is she has led a sheltered life... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Her personality may be a little similar to my thread on "playmates" friend, ah wel I am not suggesting that applies here though, Id guess shes pretty devoted to you! she sounds like fun too, will keep you young anyway! I think you would be foolish to end this, but what do I know! "you only miss them after they are gone" Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 She would annoy the shyt out of me....Im no dud, but good effing grief.... There are plenty of women that want sex without the dog and pony show... My guess is she has led a sheltered life... TFY Seems like a lot of young men and women want MOST of the interaction to happen via texting. I think they just don't all feel comfortable face to face so they play it out like that and also if it starts that way, then they meet much later, they find out the person isn't the same as in text, so some may actually just go back to text only and live in that illusion. Now, older ones like this one, I think like most others on here that she's probably a golddigger or something like that -- or used to dabble in sex working. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Maybe she feels it necessary to keep the "sex" buzz going in order to keep the OP interested... As an "older" woman, she maybe feels her attractiveness is dependent on appearing young and sexy, so she is laying it on as thickly as possible in case the OP decides to go look elsewhere. She is trying to cover all bases, but there is a fine line to be drawn and she, I guess is crossing it and is starting to look desperate or a tad crazy... Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Sounds like classic BPD to me. I don't have the energy (emotionally) for that kind of BS, especially the "why don't you send more selfies?" thing. It's like, a) cause I'm a man and b) selfie addiction is textbook narcissism. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Fun is fun and l've had a lot of it but she just doesn't sound right ,it's different. She sounds like a 16yr old. l don't blame ya l'd be getting seriously turned off with all that rubbish too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 Considering that she keeps bringing up twosomes and three ways, there's not much reason to think her suggesting a transaction to getting a ticket to Europe is not serious, and I agree that that is the most worrisome part of the story. It's pretty stripper/sex worker-ish. You might run a background check on her. You don't want someone who talks like that around your kids if you have kids. Not sure I would automatically assume she's a one-man woman. I agree with you on the stripper/sex worker theory. I have a 12 year old son, but she doesnt talk that way around him. He lives with his mother and I have my weekends, but not usually with her and him at the same time. Actually, in public and around my friends she's 'an upstanding citizen'. No one would guess that she could be so raunchy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 The texting style is actually par for the course. It makes my teeth itch how women who really should know better communicate like they are in their early 20's and don't get me started on snapchat filters! Honestly OP, this woman's rather brazen attempts to get you to pay for a holiday make me think you should throw her back in the sea but I would caution against thinking the next 30 something will have more maturity about her. Social media apps and camera phones have had a huge impact on women under 40, they all think and date they are still in high school and it's embarrassing. I've found that where I used to prize looks above all else a small social media footprint and a more sophisticated and mature outlook is becoming very attractive yet so hard to find unless you date the 40+ crowd, so you may want to bear this in mind... Yes, a few of the pics she sent me had the 'duck lips' pout and I told her she looked silly. I think she was a little offended because her demeanor changed. We are friends on social media and sometimes she comments on my pics/posts with the heart or eyes emojis too. You would think at 37, her attitude would more sophisticated. She is well educated with an MBA, I guess that really doesnt mean much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 (edited) But if she really views it as transactional then once you're together etc and she's "gotten what she wants" the flow may stop. If you are expecting a lot from her and this happens it might become a problem. It's hard to say - I'm speculating as I've never been with a person like this. I'd say continue the relationship, but keep the above in the back of your mind if/as it starts to get more serious. The fact that you're posting here suggests that you feel something's off. I am going to keep it more casual in the next few weeks. The transactional thing keeps ringing a bell, I have to see how she reacts if I back off a bit. I know she's into me, because we've exchanged 'I love you', but then when I get many texts in the day with only hearts, it feels juvenile. Edited May 4, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 Given that she's been this way the whole time, she seems unlikely to change. Offering great sex for a paid vacation is the most off-putting part of it. That's what escorts and gold-diggers do - not serious loving girlfriends. I agree, I am going to back off a bit. Now that it's out of my head, and in black and white, I'm starting to see a weird pattern. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Clouded, you are pretty judgmental of her and it seems that judgment is focused on who she is, do you love her ? why stay with someone who you can't compliment but can judge ? I said in my upstream post it seems about compatibility more than whether she has problems and needs help. Why do you stay with someone who you are not compatible with ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 Fun is fun and l've had a lot of it but she just doesn't sound right ,it's different. She sounds like a 16yr old. l don't blame ya l'd be getting seriously turned off with all that rubbish too. It was fun and exciting at first, but it's slowly turning me off. She's very attractive and smart but it's almost like she feels that's the only thing she has to offer. I am not a therapist, but I don't know how to say that all that over the top stuff is not necessary. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 I don't think you're a match, and it sounds like she wants to get into swapping/threesomes, etc. I also find the offer of "the best sex of your life" in exchange for a paid vacation to Europe a significant turnoff. In fact, as a man, my wallet is pretty much developing cobwebs when it comes to women. We discussed that before and I told her I did it in my early years before I was married, I've been divorced for 7 years, but it's not something that I would be into for long term. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 She would annoy the shyt out of me....Im no dud, but good effing grief.... There are plenty of women that want sex without the dog and pony show... My guess is she has led a sheltered life... TFY This is exactly what my buddy said, that she seems to come from a sheltered world. He said she has a weird kind of dysfunction. I know her parents are divorced and she is the oldest of 3, she lived with her mother until recently, but I don't know too much about her family situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Have you talked with her about all of this? I mean, shouldn't you start with that before assuming anything? A healthy and happy relationship starts and ends with communication after all. Personally, her behavior is seriously off-putting. I can see how it would be exciting in the beginning but at some point things level off. You can still be flirty and erotic without being so excessively aggressive and raunchy about it. She sounds very needy and insecure if you ask me and uses sex as a way to feel good about herself. Just my dime-store assessment. I agree with those who said you two don't really seem like a compatible match now that the shine has worn off. Time for a candid conversation to see where things land. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 Clouded, you are pretty judgmental of her and it seems that judgment is focused on who she is, do you love her ? why stay with someone who you can't compliment but can judge ? I said in my upstream post it seems about compatibility more than whether she has problems and needs help. Why do you stay with someone who you are not compatible with ? I have told her I love her, but maybe I jumped the gun. Also, I have complimented her. In other posts I said that she is smart, ambitious and attractive. This is the side of her that I am trying to understand to possibly be with her long term. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 3, 2019 Author Share Posted May 3, 2019 Have you talked with her about all of this? I mean, shouldn't you start with that before assuming anything? A healthy and happy relationship starts and ends with communication after all. Personally, her behavior is seriously off-putting. I can see how it would be exciting in the beginning but at some point things level off. You can still be flirty and erotic without being so excessively aggressive and raunchy about it. She sounds very needy and insecure if you ask me and uses sex as a way to feel good about herself. Just my dime-store assessment. Good luck. Thanks. We have had a few conversations about the intensity, frequency and the aggressive nature. It changes for a short while but then goes back full throttle. Maybe it's time to have another conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 Thanks. We have had a few conversations about the intensity, frequency and the aggressive nature. It changes for a short while but then goes back full throttle. Maybe it's time to have another conversation. If you have to continually address a particular issue, it's clear she doesn't get it nor cares about your feelings. Personally, that is enough for me to tap out. Something I've had to do myself with past partners. "An apology without change is just manipulation" - food for thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 I think she is just discovering her sexuality now and she was shielded all her life. You look at her age and judge her but if you live with your parents, you don't grow old like the rest of the world. I know, since I live with my mom and dad and I can be more innocent than a teenager lol. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 She sounds just like most of the guys I have foolishly given my mobile number to online. They start out ok and then turn to sexts. They can't text about anything else. It wears thin pretty quickly and I get rid of them. It is interesting that you are finding this overly sexual approach tedious too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Brother, I get it ... There is something startling, a bit frightening even, when you sense that all the other person wants to talk about and think about is sex. It's like sex is a drug. Very different than a relaxed sexy attraction to each other. Very different. Brother, I'm thinking she's not your type. It's not that she's oversexed. It's that she's heading towards being only-sexed--as in only focused and obsessed with sex. Those hearts with no words ... they'd get on my nerves for sure. And I think you know this ... Saying "I love you," I hate to tell you, means very little. And that's not the issue. The issue is ... is this the kind of person you want to seriously date and spend time with? Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 OP, despite your number of replies, I lack basic understanding what your relationship is. You said you started as hookup buddies. Are you in a relationship now and are you exclusive? Have you talked about it? If not there's nothing unusual with her texting. May be she is overtly addicted to texting and sexting. How often do you have sex? How is the other part of your relationship? It sounds like she wants sex more and you want it less. There may be lot of reasons. None of them suggests me that she has some disorder as you say, but you are not the matching person for her. As someone else said she may be discovering her sexuality now, after living so long with her parents. For some women sex drive starts rapidly increasing in late 30s and reaches the peak in forties. I know this as this has happened to me. Being a woman not wanting more than twice a month sex in my early thirties, I am desperately horny now. It is the first time I read in a board a man is disturbed by sexual desires of a woman. You tow may be sexually incompatible. However her holiday request in exchange of good sex is strange. Can she be joking with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 4, 2019 Author Share Posted May 4, 2019 Brother, I get it ... There is something startling, a bit frightening even, when you sense that all the other person wants to talk about and think about is sex. It's like sex is a drug. Those hearts with no words ... they'd get on my nerves for sure. And I think you know this ... Saying "I love you," I hate to tell you, means very little. And that's not the issue. The issue is ... is this the kind of person you want to seriously date and spend time with? I do like her and this is the only part of her that I question because I am trying spending more time with her and thinking about long term. When these things come up and we talk about it, it's fine for a while, but then she starts again and my doubts resurface. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CloudedVision Posted May 4, 2019 Author Share Posted May 4, 2019 OP, despite your number of replies, I lack basic understanding what your relationship is. May be she is overtly addicted to texting and sexting. How often do you have sex? How is the other part of your relationship? It sounds like she wants sex more and you want it less. It is the first time I read in a board a man is disturbed by sexual desires of a woman. You tow may be sexually incompatible. However her holiday request in exchange of good sex is strange. Can she be joking with you? We agreed to be exclusive about 2 months after we met because we found each other to be compatible. We see each other at least twice during the week and usually every weekend and have sex multiple times when we're together. It's not her desires that I question, its the method of communication. I dont mind sexting once in a while, but it's the constant texting about other topics too. About the holiday request, I question that too because it wasnt the first time she said something like that to me. Once she sent me a picture of a dog and stated that she would be my 'freak' if I bought it for her. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Since she's 37 and just moved out from her parents, there has to be some reason for that. I'd be finding out why she lived with her parents for so long, was she dating, etc. It's possible she's trying to overcompensate for something with her acting like she's down for kinky stuff, but at the same time texting like a preteen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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