Rebellious teenage stepson moves in

[OatsAndHall]

Given the circumstances, you made the right call. It's unfortunate that it came to that but a) she's enabling his behavior and b) staying that relationship could prove to be extremely detrimental.

 

 

 

My oldest former stepson is a good kid and I still love him very much. But, his mother's parenting approach to him caused us a lot of problems. One day, she found a weed pipe in his room and we were both extremely unhappy about it, especially given that his grades were crap and he was an exceptionally lazy kid. I understand that kids are going to experiment but I'm a teacher and I my license would've been on the line had either of his younger brothers gotten their hands on that pipe or his weed. At the very least, I would've ended up talking to the state licensing board about the situation if that had happened.

 

 

 

I asked her to ship him down to his grandfather's ranch for the rest of the summer with the understanding that he'd be working until school started. I felt that it was an appropriate response given his failing grades, his lack of motivation and smoking weed. That didn't sit well with her and we fought over it for about a week.

 

 

Long story short, he lost his electronics for the rest of the summer and was grounded for a month. So he spent the next two months staying up all night reading and sleeping all day. It certainly wasn't much of a punishment for him.

[michzz]

He should not be in your home, I'm sorry to say. He needs professional help that is beyond his parents or your abilities. I also think he is a potential danger to your family and himself.

 

Look up "oppositional defiant disorder dsm 5"

 

Good luck.

[Miss Clavel]

in some countries a person can join the military at 15 and 1/2 years old. my bil joined up in england at 14. he said it is similar to boy scouts and feeds into the army at 16.

 

im not sure if she and he are moving out of your house or you are moving?

 

anyway.

 

can you talk to him one more time? for the rest of us.

 

explain what it means to take things that don't belong to him. explain how it feels. explain that you have a car because you worked hours and hours and saved up for it.

 

that going through someone else's drawers and touching their things and then removing something from their room is a huge violation and one that may get him killed, if he does it to someone else that decides to defend their property, like a store owner or the police that are called during the robbery.

 

let him know he will never have a gun of his own because of his record.. which may not be true, yet. but let him know they are expensive and at this point in his life without a job, he can't even buy smokes.

 

after that i think he does need to go to the "scared straight" program. after he comes out ask him what he thinks any of the inmates would do to him if he went in their drawers and took things.

 

then you can wash your hands of him.

 

i think he needs a job or the military.

 

until then lock up your things and your heart.

[amaysngrace]

He’s crying out for attention. Putting a gun in his mouth and firing it should NOT be brushed off as him not meaning anything by it. This child needs psychiatric help more than he needs prison imo.

 

I’m not sure why he wasn’t taken for screening immediately following that incident. Your ex needs help too but she can get help whenever she wants, the clock is ticking for this child.

 

Something is very wrong in his head and his problems need to be addressed rather than just looking at the criminal aspect of it all. Ignoring a child’s need for counseling is a crime too, and a real shame on the adults in his life.

 

Sure you all can ship him off but what message does that send? Or you can all tough it out together, take him to his appointments, talk him through it, be supportive and loving and basically just do the job you’ve been handed and all signed up for.

 

It seems like every adult in his life has failed him.