On dealing with alcoholics.

[fromheart]

My best friend became an absolute alcoholic over the space of a couple of decades.

 

He developed Type 1 diabetes, and became a shell of his former self. He lives completely off of the state, has no chance of being employed and keeps drinking.

 

I lent him some money to get his life back together, and employed him to sort out his mindset. Lent him some music gear, so that he could have a hobby outside of drinking.

 

He spent all of the money on alcohol, messed up every job I gave him and turned nasty when I asked for the music gear back.

 

I could be angry, but its such a shame to see what was a talented, good looking young man become an absolute waste of space.

 

I can no longer be his friend, for obvious reasons.

 

My advice is, if you are dealing with alcoholic friends, partner or family member, the loving thing to do for yourself and them is to leave them until they get it together. Tell them that they must sort themselves out, and you'll even drop them off at rehab.

But you can no longer be associated with them them in any way, unless they stop drinking and look after themselves.

 

Sounds harsh, but an alcoholic will take as much as they can from you. That's what the addiction does to themselves, and those around them.

Edited May 3, 2019 by fromheart

[Mr. Lucky]

On dealing with alcoholics.

 

Your thread title is an oxymoron in itself. You don't "deal" with addicts or alcoholics, you watch as their self-destructive choices play out. Unless and until they decide to get help, you're just a spectator. And the closer you are to the person, the harder it is to watch...

 

Mr. Lucky

[fromheart]

You deal with them by walking away, as I explained. That is not an 'oxymoron.'

[JuneL]

I read that addicts will truly quit when they hit rock bottom. Having someone too understanding may actually be their enablers.