boyfriend just broke up with me

[so confused]

Please I need some advice. My boyfriend of 9 months just broke up with me. He said it was because his feeling didn't go to the next level. What does that mean? Anyway I had no idea that this was coming. I moved in with him two months ago and everything was fine. We had no fights or anything.

 

Then last week he decided to go out with a few neighbors and

 

he stayed out until 5 in the morning. I was happy but we talked about it and it was done. then he just started to get distant with me. But then he would be really lovely to.

 

I thought that he need some time but when he came over to my house when we went back home to see our family he came over and broke up with. I'm so confuesed I don't know what to do

 

I really want to work things out with him. Does anyone have

 

any suggestions?

 

Thank you

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "He said it was because his feeling didn't go to the next level."

 

If he was telling you the truth, shooting straight with you, he meant that he had hoped he would fall into more of a deep love with you and that hasn't happened. He apparently doesn't want to give it more of a chance to happen.

 

However, don't count on that being the reason. There could be someone else he's interested in and you'll find that out pretty fast. A lot of times, immature guys (and gals) who are in relationships meet someone new out somewhere and get all these chemicals flowing and just think they have entered the gates of heaven. Later they find out how wrong they were.

 

In some cases, guys who are actually falling too deeply for a lady will break up with them out of deep fear of being abandoned or otherwise getting hurt.

 

If he broke up with you suddenly and for reasons he had not previously discussed, obviously he is an extremely poor communicator and will make an awful long term mate. Count your blessings that you got rid of him. It would have been hell later.

 

In any case, your ex has shown an immaturity that you don't need in your life.

 

You ask for suggestions on what do to. Since you have already broken up with him, don't write him, send him email, send him messages, call him or have any other contact with him whatsoever. Go through the normal healing process, stay busy and eventually you'll be ready to find a guy who is grown up and knows how to conduct a properly healthy relationship.

 

I also suggest that in the future, when a guy tells you something you don't understand, ask HIM to explain. There's just no way other people can know what's going on in any particular person's mind.

[sparkle]

If he broke up with you, do NOT try to make things work out. Listen to Tony. Don't call him. Don't email him. Don't visit him.

 

Distance yourself from him ASAP. Don't even try to be friends with him hoping that things will change back to how they were. Cut it off cleanly and quickly.

 

He let you know that he didn't want to be with you, by breaking up with you. Now if he DOES want to be with you later on, leave it up to him to try to make things work out. Leave it up to him to make an effort now. If he wants to be with you, he'll let you know, and will get back with you.

 

But meanwhile, act like it's completely over, and try to move on.

[WGirl]

I know you are probably hurting right now didn't want to hear that. It sounds like he is ready to call it quits because he is no longer into the relationship. No amount of talking is going to convince him otherwise. You can't change somebody's feelings. It sounds like he is more interested in partying or has met someone else. Feelings that didn't go to the next level-could mean he is not in love with you or does not see a future for the two of you. Why he moved in with you if he felt like that-I don't know. He sounds confused like he doesn't know what he wants.

Please I need some advice. My boyfriend of 9 months just broke up with me. He said it was because his feeling didn't go to the next level. What does that mean? Anyway I had no idea that this was coming. I moved in with him two months ago and everything was fine. We had no fights or anything. Then last week he decided to go out with a few neighbors and he stayed out until 5 in the morning. I was happy but we talked about it and it was done. then he just started to get distant with me. But then he would be really lovely to. I thought that he need some time but when he came over to my house when we went back home to see our family he came over and broke up with. I'm so confuesed I don't know what to do I really want to work things out with him. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you

[so confused]

Hey all thanks for responding. I think you all have the right concept. The only thing is that he called me today and we talked for over an hour. He said that he cares for me deeply and the real reason he broke up with me was not the feeling level but the fact that i was being really lazy and would not do anything with him.. I guess i was really in a slump from moving 800 miles leaving everything behind.

 

Anyway I asked him to give another chance or at least talk i mean he agreed that our relationship was great. He did finally open up with his feelings which was good. He said that he was not sure if he wanted to get back together or not. he needed some time to think. all he kept saying to me is that he doesn't know. Anyway he said that he would call me tomorrow. Is this a good sign? What should I do? I'm trying not to pressure him but try and convimce him that communication would be a great thing for us. I also asked him if there was someone else but he said no and i believe him..

 

Anyway i would appreciate any further help.

[sparkle]

There's really not much you can do right now. Just make sure you don't put your life on hold.

 

He said he'll call you tomorrow. If he doesn't call, do not call him. Wait until he calls. Don't ask him to hang out with you either. Just let him figure out what he wants to do on his own.

[So Confused]

I still need some more advice. He called me again last night. He went back home to New Jersey and I stayed In Mi.

 

We talked again for about and hour. I told him how I felt and how i felt about him. He said that he still cares deeply for me and that he really thought that I'm the one for him but since I lost my job and started being a littl lazy he feels diffently about me.. He said that really turned him off. He never really said that if was def. over but he never said that he wanted to try again. He did say that he needed some space and some time to think about things. Which I totally understand so i told him to think about everything and give me a call whenever. He said that he would do that and he ended the call by saying that he would talk to me later. That's what he always tells me when he calls the next day. He really seems confused and acts like he doesnt' want the break up but since he did it he might as well go along with it.

 

I do not intend to call him i want to give him time to think.. but is thinking really a good thing? Also if he really wanted the breakup to stay don't you think he would of asked when or what to do with my clothing and stuff in the apt we had in new jersey since i'm going to be living in MI. again and he is going to stay in the apt? what's up with that?