Decent job - horrendous boss...quit or stay?

[Jeannie]

I am 42 and have worked in a corporate environment for 22 years. I am very professional and good at what I do. Problem is my boss isn't. She is 50-something and she yells and screams at me - she badmouths the company and her boss and she is impossible to work for. I like my job itself but after 3 months of every day being chaos and hearing this woman nag and hammer me to death - I can't take it anymore, I put in my resignation.

 

Now she can't be nice enough. She's done a 360 and acts like we're best friends. What is up with this woman?

 

I've worked for some demanding people in my life but at age 42 I refuse to be yelled at and talken to in a derrogatory manner or subjected to her tantrums and badmouthing of others - she is horrible to her employees (calls them stupid and uses the "f" word in every sentence).

 

I don't expect the perfect job but I do want to work in a professional environment where I'm treated with dignity and respect. This woman has said things to me and other coworkers (who sit and take it) that make me cringe in disgust. She definately lacks professionalism and people skills.

 

Here's the problem - I enjoy my job, have a beautiful office and get paid well with good benefits. But I can't take working for this woman - the work environment is toxic. I don't enjoy coming to work and I leave mentally exhausted. I have the means to quit and find another job (I've got plenty of money set aside).

 

I just hate quitting - I've only been there 3 months. I can't handle this woman - she micromanages and I walk on eggshells around her - I've gained 10 lbs. from rattled nerves and I cannot stand this woman. Yet I like the job itself.

 

I've already resigned but I feel guilty about being a "quitter". All I want is to work in an environment where I'm not treated in a derrogatory manner and yelled at or talked down to. Is this too much to ask?

 

I want to take time off to exercise and enjoy the holidays then find a new job at the beginning of the year. But I feel so guilty giving up a good paying job just because I can't work for my psycho boss.

 

I can tolerate alot but this woman has been a nightmare. I can't bare to work for her and watch her berrate and scream at her employees. It's not right but she won't get fired and she's the type if anyone goes to HR and she finds out - they'll have hell to pay.

 

The woman is bi-polar and basically mean.

 

If I did want to stay and continue to work there - I think I'd have even more hell to pay by recinding my resignation. I hate giving up a job I enjoy and a nice paycheck but at the same time I'm so unhappy working for this woman and she's not going anywhere anytime soon.

 

Should I take my chances and find a job I enjoy going to every day? At 42 years old all I want is a little respect and to literally enjoy going into work. I don't expect perfection - I have been thru alot in my life and all I want is a peaceful work environment.

 

This woman makes me feel awful and her yelling and badmouthing employees (She says "What a stupid MF he is..." or "If she walks in with that dumbass look on her face again I'm gonna slap it right off her...").

 

She talks to me like a child and has yelled at me in front of others. When I turned in my resignation she gave me this fake smile and said "You're leaving - ok, good for you". That was it. Then she got really nice and has now been treating me like a totally different person......... WHY IS THAT????

 

I think she's also a control freak and by knocking people down she can control them better. Now that she knows she has no control over me and I'm leaving - she's treating me with more respect.

 

Anyone have any input?

[Hotdiggitydammit]

She needs to get help

[HokeyReligions]

Been there, done that. Talk to HR now -- they need to know why you are quitting. She can't hurt you now. Write it all down like you did here.

 

If you have the means to support yourself until you find something new - do it. I almost had a breakdown at my similar job. I actually was having chest pains and my blood pressure skyrocketed and I ended up in the ER twice. I took it from February 14 through July 8. I gained weight too and started smoking again! I was desperately trying to find a new job while still working there because I support my family and that is a lot of stress and worry.

 

I did my job and never missed a day, but my boss 'let me go' anyway because she knew I wasn't happy and was looking for something. She then tried to prevent me from getting unemplolyment and I had to file and appeal (I won because I documented everything) and I ended up working for a former employer who, when I told them I was available again, found a place for me. It's still contract work - but they don't want to let me go and as soon as they are hiring on a permanent basis again I'll likely be hired on as a permanent employee for a 3 to 5 year project and stay on if there are projects after that. I'm over qualified for the type of position I'm in now, but they met my salary requirement just to get me back and I like the less stressful job right now.

[RecordProducer]

That woman should not be working there! I know MDD is a heavy mental illness, but she doesn't have to be a boss. You should tell the HR, her boss, the CEO and VP if necessary to "take care" of her. There is no such thing like nobody can fire her even if she makes all the company's money, they acn put her into place. Just because employees are protected by the work law doesn't mean they can do whatever they want and not get fired.

 

How is yelling and cursing at people better than a male boss groping your boobs? It's all abuse. She is a mean scum and she knows it - that's why she said "good for you" when you handed her your resignation. She smiled because she won - she made you leave. Why don't you fight instead of withdraw before her? You like the job after all..

[lindya]

Stay calm. Send a memo to your HR dept outlining the situation, and offering them the opportunity to address this difficulty through use of a mediator or workplace facilitator. That way, you're giving them the opportunity to resolve this through non-adversarial methods. If they refuse, then your option is to use the grievance procedure (obviously you should be taking legal advice too, in order to protect your own position).

 

You want to be seen to be acting reasonably and helpfully here; giving the employers every opportunity to resolve matters in a manner that ultimately will be in the company's interests as well as the majority of its employees.

[Outcast]

I want to take time off to exercise and enjoy the holidays then find a new job at the beginning of the year. But I feel so guilty giving up a good paying job just because I can't work for my psycho boss.

 

You can try dealing with HR. I doubt anything will change. Look at it this way - you earn money in order to live; ideally to live well. There is nothing close to 'living well' if you spend the majority of your day in misery. In fact it's craziness to stay in such a situation and sacrifice your health just for the sake of money. I gave up a very well-paid job for just such reasons and couldn't be happier. Money may pay for the meds and the shrink but really, is it worth selling out your wellbeing just for the sake of bucks?

[Jeannie]

Here's the latest. I spoke to my boss's boss who is a male. He was sympathetic and told me to stand up to her and if things didn't get better he'd take action. But the problem is my boss runs the show and she does know how to do her job well - she just has horrible people skills so basically she aint' going no where.

 

I've decided it's best to stick to my resignation and find a job where I can work in a pleasant environment where I'm not being verbally attacked and walking on eggshells. It ain't worth it. There's really no "HR" department - "HR" is one girl who collects timesheets and does payroll.

 

From the attitudes of everyone in my company - no one seems happy and there are no policies and procedures anyone follows and no team environment. I gotta work around people who support each other - I can't stand people who are all at each others throats and badmouthing each other.

 

I'll risk finding a better job. Thanks for all your posts - you helped me out alot!

[miserableasalways]

look for another job. I've dealt with nuts who are in mgmt positions unfortunetly. it sux!

good luck!

[freebird]

If I were you, I'd complain, formally about YOUR boss to HER boss. Also, get others to sign a petition or submit some type of written testimony as evidence she is abusive. That type of abuse should not be tolerated. Why should you go - SHE should go!

 

What have you got to lose? If things don't work out, you can always quit like you intended. However, it sounds like you really like your job and good jobs with great benefits and high pay are hard to come by - I would seriously think of legitimate ways of getting her fired. Bosses can be REPLACED!

 

Perhaps you can move into her slot!