Mr. Lucky Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 So I'm still lost, but maybe found a trail of crumbs that will lead to some serenity. Believe it or not, when it comes to infidelity and divorce, that qualifies as progress . You're taking baby steps, each one painful, and any gains are incremental at best. But taken all together, they represent a path forward towards a 'new normal' and a chance to get your life back. Keep posting, lots of good support here. Many of us have gone down the same road and understand the mixed feelings you're dealing with. Stay busy, focus on your kids and lean on friends and family. You'll get there... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 Her first affair was rug swept. Like a lot you just wanted her back so the issues were nevr addressed or fixed and you ended up with a repeat or false R. In essence her AP didn't work out. That's the only reason she came back. The rest of the stuff was just BS excuses. You should take a good hard look. You can't fix or control her but you allowed yourself to be played and manipulated resulting in lost time/life you'll never get back. You need to fix yourself so you don't go through this again. As for the X Google (Grey Rocking) and (parallel parenting). Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't limit all contact and keep everything separate. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 The hardest part is still days without the kids... and its not just cause i miss and love them, but when I don't have them, i feel like i am failing them as a father and a role model. That remains the hardest part of the whole situation. I understand your concern and why you feel that way, but you are not failing them as a father, nor as a role model. I do not remember the ages of your children. Hopefully, you have a chance to talk to them or Facetime them on the phone every day to ask them about their day? Don't worry, you are still their father and will have a most profound impact on their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted September 12, 2019 Share Posted September 12, 2019 ........... I don't feel complete, but feel like i have started putting some of the pieces back together. I've read the advice on here many, many times, and as more time passes, the wisdom shared becomes more apparent. It's amazing how the words from perfect strangers seem to help so much. I too have read over the same posts over and over... and it always helps. The hardest part is still days without the kids... and its not just cause i miss and love them, but when I don't have them, i feel like i am failing them as a father and a role model. That remains the hardest part of the whole situation. ...... As a little time goes past... that won't be so bad. Your kids will know you love them, and are there for them. And you will appreciate some alone time. As Mr Lucky said... keep posting... it really helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 I full understand your plight, her boundaries, hers basic selfishness. She is gaslighting you, keeping you at bay, but maintaining your interest so you don’t file. Time to 180, time total N.C. unless it is pertaining to the children. They are 100% in the front for your actions. File and serve her D papers ASAP. She didn’t Respect you enough when she purchased her abode and moved out. Yet you are constantly checking in with her. I do believe she has crossed the boundaries yet again and has hooked up with another patient. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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