Cornputer Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Me and my little sister will be making a painting for my mother (she already has a collection of paintings I've done solo), we'll also get her daffodils as those are her favorite flowers and I will be making her favorite coffee flavored cheesecake. What about you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Nothing. I am shutting myself in my house & ignoring the whole day. My mom died in 2011. I can't have kids. The whole day is the most painful day of the year for me so I pretend like it doesn't exist. It's the only way I can get through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cornputer Posted May 8, 2019 Author Share Posted May 8, 2019 Nothing. I am shutting myself in my house & ignoring the whole day. My mom died in 2011. I can't have kids. The whole day is the most painful day of the year for me so I pretend like it doesn't exist. It's the only way I can get through it. I am very sorry to hear that.. Be gentle on yourself, I used to lock myself up in my room as well after someone close to me died and their birthday approached. These days I write her a happy birthday card and visit her grave instead and am grateful because she was once here. Definitely not the same as the situation you are in, but maybe try celebrate your mum instead of hurting? Maybe you have pets to be a mum to! I really cannot imagine the pain, I'm sorry if I come off ignorant. Wishing peace for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Thanks. Don't worry about it. My dog died 2 months before my dad & I no longer have a lifestyle that can support a pet. DH & I work too much 12-16 hour days each. Since we don't have kids we revised the life plan to retire early & play. I'm not in the same acute pain I had in the early years. I'm fine simply hiding in my house that Sunday. It may not be the "best" solution but it works for me. I will reach out to one of my BFFs. Her mom, my 2nd mom, died the week of Mother's Day & was buried that Saturday in 2013. My friend has 3 kids so she had to carry on. All in all the holiday hold too many bad negative associations for me. For similar reasons I no longer care for Christmas either. This year DH & I booked a 2 week cruise. I am looking forward to ignoring all the traditions. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Great idea to go visit her grave. I haven’t seen my own mothers grave yet so I think I’ll go clean it up a bit and bring her some flowers. She’s in the same cemetery as my grandmother and my aunt so I’ll bring them flowers too. It probably sounds strange to some that I haven’t been to her grave but it’s how I was raised. My own brother died at the age of 18, he was the oldest child, and every Sunday after mass we’d go to his grave as a family in that same cemetery where my mother lies right next to him now. It was very depressing. At some point my parents decided it was just too much to be doing that every week and we stopped going altogether. But I think it will be nice if I can get up there this weekend. It’s time. Thank you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Nothing. I am shutting myself in my house & ignoring the whole day. My mom died in 2011. I can't have kids. The whole day is the most painful day of the year for me so I pretend like it doesn't exist. It's the only way I can get through it. Every Mother's Day I set aside time to pray for all of my friends for whom this day is really hard. I will add you to the list. I will personally be vacationing with my mama in Sedona, AZ. (We didn't plan it for Mother's Day....just happened). Will be the first Mother's Day I'm not with my own kiddos, though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 I'll be working my second job on Mother's Day, so we'll be celebrating on Saturday. Every year since they were very young, we have had a tea party on Mother's Day. Last year, in addition, we did one of those escape rooms. I don't know what they have planned for this year (other than our annual tea party.) I am sorry it is a difficult day for you, d0nnivain. I have a friend, a nurse, who feels the exact same way. She and her husband also work very long hours and are getting ready to retire at 55 to travel the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Me and my little sister will be making a painting for my mother (she already has a collection of paintings I've done solo), we'll also get her daffodils as those are her favorite flowers and I will be making her favorite coffee flavored cheesecake. What about you? nothing, my ma died in 1997 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 (edited) for me, an ex-abused child, it's just ~~ Happy Motherf*ckers Day~~ bad luck having crap parents, meh Edited May 8, 2019 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
ChristinaChaffins Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Will give her rest on that day. Cook for her and go outside with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 d0nnivain, I'm sorry to hear that. For what it's worth, I've been enjoying your smart, sensible advice posts lately! I'll spend the day with my mom. She's been dealing with stressful stuff lately, and I'm sure she'll be happy to spend the day together. I just broke up with my on-off boyfriend of 5 months, again. We were going to spend Mother's Day with both our moms. It would have been their first meeting. To be honest, I'm glad I don't have to do it. He's kind of a mama's boy and I'm not in the mood for the hoopla. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Nothing. I am shutting myself in my house & ignoring the whole day. My mom died in 2011. I can't have kids. The whole day is the most painful day of the year for me so I pretend like it doesn't exist. It's the only way I can get through it. I'm sorry. My own died in August 2016, and I finally managed to put it behind me this year. And probably in ways she wouldn't agree on, but I had to do something. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 My mom lives 11 hours away so I'll call her to wish her a happy day. My mom has always been hours away from me since I was 17 and I'm 53. I wish I had her close by. My daughter will drop by tomorrow, she has always brought me flowers on Mother's Day. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 I asked my single mom friend to brunch but the place I was thinking of only does all day dinner on mother’s day, no lunch or Sunday brunch like they usually do. They only ever serve breakfast on Sunday. For Father’s Day they do a whole breakfast buffet. To me that sounds more like Mother’s Day since she doesn’t have to cook for him. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 since my ma has passed I bought flowers for my aunt (my mom's little sister) who doesn't have any kids 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 since my ma has passed I bought flowers for my aunt (my mom's little sister) who doesn't have any kids That’s really sweet. Have you always been close? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 That’s really sweet. Have you always been close? more so since my mom passed in '97 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 alphamale, that's very cool! One time a neighbor had a brunch for all the neighbors who were moms and their kids lived a distance away. My mom and grown kids all live a distance from me. I sent mom a card and will call her. I think my kids are going to surprise me by showing up. Someone told me something (I wish they hadn't in a way) that makes me think this. But, in another way I'm glad they told me because sometimes I get up and schlepp around working in my pjs for hours before getting dressed for the day. So, tomorrow I'll get up and get fixed up early! We'll probably go out to eat. That is, if my hunch is right. If it's not it'll be fine as I have lots I need to get done. I have spent many a Mother's Day away from my kids and mom and know how to enjoy it as a regular day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 Normally, mother's day is kind of painful for me. My mother is in prison - a convicted sex offender that I want nothing to do with. But this year is different. This year is the first year that I'm a mom! I've got a baby daughter, and twins on the way. I don't expect to get any presents, but just having brought new life into my family is enough for me. My husband's other partners will also be having a good time with their kids, and my in-laws are coming over. We're having a big barbecue dinner and just spending family time like we do on most Sundays. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I went out for lunch with my mum and dad, my husband and his dad and step mum and my son and his fiancé, my other son had to work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I didn’t end up going to my mom’s grave because it was cold and rainy yesterday. Instead I hung with two of my kids here at the house and cooked raviolis. We would’ve gone to dinner but my daughter has an exam today and couldn’t be away from her studies for that long and we knew it’d be a long meal no matter where we went. Her passing her final exam is a very good enough gift. My other son is still on his honeymoon. They get home today. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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