tanjaanja Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 My ex and I met each other when we were traveling last summer. It was a wonderful place. We had instant chemistry and attraction to each other. We carried out the relationship which was a long distance one. However, back in February, he broke up with me. We had various arguments, I had issues that I pressured on to him, I was stressed. He tried his best to be there for me, but in the end, he couldn't take the heat anymore. On hindsight, I can see why it was probably best to be single during that time. Anyways, I have been brutally honest with myself and tried to improve my weaknesses. I feel stronger, more stabilized and calmer now. Summer is approaching, and I have always been longing to go back to the place because I also had memories before he came. I know he will be there too. I'm just conflicted whether this is a good idea or not? I hope that you will share your inputs as I would need some perspectives on this. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 You shouldn't have to avoid a whole country or state because you once dated somebody from there. But if you are going back with the idea that you might bump into him & reconcile, change your travel plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanjaanja Posted May 8, 2019 Author Share Posted May 8, 2019 I haven't clarified what I meant: we worked at this community together, and it is at this place that I am referring to. I'm starting to feel fine with the fact that it may not be us. It's not my goal to reconcile with him, but I don't reject it either. Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 (edited) It's really up to you. One of the ways you heal from these breakups is to willfully see things, and places, that remind of you of your ex as things in and of themselves. Not things you experienced with your ex. For example, a certain restaurant where I took my ex to dinner for our first date. I'm not going to avoid that restaurant because it reminds me of her. It's a restaurant. The chicken parm is good and the portions are generous. The house wine is only $10 for a whole pitcher. Her memory will not detract from my enjoyment of a great restaurant. I will take new people there, I will make new memories there. It's a restaurant that I like. She's not a part of my life anymore, she doesn't factor into this restaurant anymore. It's a restaurant. It was there before her, and will be there after her. The restaurant doesn't care about her. It's simply there, and it will always welcome me regardless of who I'm with. And I will continue going there and enjoying myself. Edited May 11, 2019 by rjc149 Link to post Share on other sites
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