Hope4thefuture Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Some days I feel like a failure. I failed at my relationships. Sometimes I feel like I fail as a mom, daughter, teacher, and friend. Maybe I am just down today, but those feelings I mentioned above are overwhelming today. It could be that I am lonely these past several months. It funny even when I am surrounded by people I still feel alone. I am going to try to smile today and hope that helps lift my mood. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Today is a bad day. At minimum, just from this post I see successes. You are a mom. Your kids are healthy. They are clean & have a roof over their heads. You are doing something right. You have had relationships. Review posts here from folks who can't even manage to start a relationship for whatever reason. Although you might not be in a fulfilling happy relationship right now, you have the ability to form one. You are a teacher. You graduated from college & got a job. Those are both successes. Think back to the kids whose lives you shaped. That is the best success in the world! Smiling will help. Take a few minutes to focus on the good little things. It's Friday. That's something. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Everyone has these thoughts sometimes. I know I do. From the outside, my life looks pretty good: I am very successful in my professional life and make a very good living. I have a beautiful home. I'm in a position to be able to travel and do lots of things that many people cannot. However, I often feel ashamed that I haven't been able to get my personal life in better order or to have children. I feel like a failure in this aspect. I'm trying to not judge myself by what others are doing. It's not an easy thing to do, but I'm trying to treat myself with kindness and acknowledge that all of those things that I feel I am lacking may come by other means than what I might have envisioned. I also think it's very natural to have some bad days in the process of healing from a relationship that has ended. I still have them and it's been 6 months. But I do notice that I only have them one or two days a week now or maybe even slightly less than that. A few months ago, I was having bad days much more often. And fewer good days than I have now. Think about your own situation -- in the past you were posting a lot because you were having a hard time staying away from your ex. Even if you feel bad right now, I think it's promising that you're staying NC. Be kind to yourself. It's ok to feel bad, but feelings aren't facts. They are just feelings. Just because you feel like a failure, doesn't mean you ARE one. Like d0nnovain said, look at all of the things you are and have achieved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Peace my friend.... I woke up feeling exactly the same way... I spent most of my day in my backyard enjoying the sunshine... I feel better. I hope you do too. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Always focus on the path that makes you happiest, even if you think it's not what others would want you to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Today is a bad day. At minimum, just from this post I see successes. ............................................................ Smiling will help. Take a few minutes to focus on the good little things. It's Friday. That's something. Hang in there. I wish you were one of my neighbors. You may have actually been able to get my STBxW to see the good in what she is throwing away. OP... I agree. Focus on the good points, and not the faults. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 I, too, have felt this way, and not just for a few days. If the feeling persists and you have good reasons to feel this way, it is time to reassess your goals. Other people do not judge you a failure? Then it is your perception only based on your expectations and goals for yourself. So many people have no goals or dreams for themselves, or very low ones, so it doesn't matter much to them. but it doesn't help any or make me feel better to realize that a million others feel that way. I never married or lived with someone and it is way too late now! I did not move West and now I cannot or will not, partly because lack of money. I also did not get the sort of positions at work that were professionally and monetarily successful or fulfilling for my expertise. Ah well, all the cliches about the glass is half full help no one. Sometimes the things that we worry about the most, turn out not the issue and not the real problem. Circumstances change. One saying I like is: this is the first day of the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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