Sadis09 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 She's broken up with me for almost a year now and recently we caught up over the phone and she had acquired the fact I was talking to someone new. She was extremely supportive but soon began mentioning that she missed me, thought about me and unexpectedly asked if we could hang out. She told me she wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but regardless, got into one a week after our previous conversation. I heard she had known him for a week at most. 3 weeks later I found out they had broken up and I was wondering if dumpers get into rebound relationships just like dumpees do. Even a year after the initial relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 It's not as much a rebound for dumpers. They processed the end of the relationship before they pulled the trigger & ended it. They may also have always wanted a relationship but not one with the person they broke up with. People who rebound are looking to fill a whole with somebody / anybody just not to be alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 With dumpers it tends to just be a normal relationship and like any other normal relationship some work out well but some don't. As for missing someone, dumpers can miss people too, the only difference being, they tend to not want to get back into a relationship with them. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 It's mostly the dumpee that ends up in rebound relationships because that is what rebounding is all about...escaping the hurt and filling the void hastily. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Moving on after a year is not a rebound. The fact that her new thing was short lived does not make it a rebound either. She simply tried it with a new person and it didn't work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 She may miss you, but you shouldn't make any plans to hang out with her if you're committed to someone else. It's really her loss, not yours. And to me, a rebound relationship really isn't an official relationship. If you're only there to fill a void, a means to an end, or a distraction, forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 It's not a dumper thing. It's a "I can't be alone" thing which can happen with a dumper or a dumpee. For example, I dumped my ex but he jumped into another relationship, while I did not. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 I have known both, I don't think there is one more likely than the other. Depends on the wants and needs of the person. Most want to show the other (unconsciously) that they can attract someone still or quicker than the other. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 It's not a dumper thing. It's a "I can't be alone" thing which can happen with a dumper or a dumpee. For example, I dumped my ex but he jumped into another relationship, while I did not. It can also be "I don't want to pass up on a great thing". I wanted to be alone for a bit after leaving my ex-h but I met a terrific new guy, we started dating and are still together 25+ years later. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 For example, I dumped my ex but he jumped into another relationship, while I did not. He is he dumpee, so yes he is likely to jump into a rebound pretty quick. He has had little time to process so he needs the validation and a warm body to fill the gap you left. Dumpers tend to have processed the split before they left so tend not to rebound. They are not burdened with the split baggage. They wanted the split, they thought long and and hard regarding the split, so they know it won't work, they then move cleanly on to someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Dumpers don't rebound as often as dumpees do, in my experience. They generally wanted to the relationship to end and have already emotionally checked out, so they aren't entering in a new relationship simply to alleviate the pain and fill the void left behind by the ex. It sounds to me like your ex tried dating someone new but it just didn't pan out, OP. I don't think I would classify it as a rebound. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 Women are famous for monkey branching their way out of marriage or relationships as a matter of fact it's by far the most common way they go about it. l'd say she'd probably met him before she dumped ya. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 She started dating this guy a year after the breakup....it's highly unlikely she was monkey branching before the breakup. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 @chilli So she managed to hide him away for more than a year... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 (edited) She probably was so disappointed with how things were going with new guy, she may have just been feeling sentimental and missed that BF support she had with the OP. Maybe she just wanted to have someone to talk to. No different if she wanted her car looked at, or asking him to help her move her couch. Edited May 11, 2019 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 11, 2019 Share Posted May 11, 2019 I think they sometimes are already in another relationship when they get around to breaking up with you, which is why it seems they got over the break up with no pain or bother. Link to post Share on other sites
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