Negative impact on my mental health

[Jevans]

Hi everyone,

 

To give you a bit of background I have had depression and anxiety for over 4 years now. I had taken medication (fluoxetine - for 3 of those years) .

 

My boyfriend has been sailing around the Caribbean and across the Atlantic for the last 3 months - I am so proud of him doing something he loves. But it has really taken a toll on me. I started a new job and kept myself busy. Because for the majority of the time he has been in the middle of the ocean I have hardly been able to talk to him. My mind has gone into over drive for no reason, I keep thinking he’s cheated on me, that he won’t like me when he gets back, that he would rather have a career than a girlfriend ( but in my positive mind I believe he could always have both). He has given me no reason to believe any of these things are true in fact he’s done the opposite - he has been super reassuring, he’s sent flowers. I have 10 days until he gets back and I am going to meet him for a few days.

 

My main worry is I don’t know how long he will be home again before he goes. I am also really anxious as to what it will be like when he gets home, will I be able to open up to intimately again. I am also really worried about the journey to go and meet him.

 

For the last few days I’ve been feeling extremely low, so much so I’ve had to phone in sick to my new job, I just feel like I can’t face it. I have no energy or no appetite to eat. I don’t want to feel like this for when he gets home I want to be a positive polly. I do feel that if he was here I would be able to handle things more, and that my brain wouldn’t be like a washing machine 95% of the time.

 

I really need advice on how to get over these emotions - how to move on and how to get my mojo back.

 

I would really appreciate any advice you can give.

[preraph]

Not everyone is cut out for waiting on someone who is gone long periods of time. I guess you will have to see what he plans in the future as far as settling down or being gone before you make up your mind that he is the right guy for you.

[ExpatInItaly]

How long have you been together, OP? And are these long absences a regular thing for him?

 

Depending on the length of your relationship, have you two come up with a plan to close the distance? What is making you anxious about the journey to go and meet him when he returns to dry land?

 

Preraph is right that this type of arrangement would be difficult for many people. Add in anxiety and depression, and you've got an even heavier load to bear. It's not simply about being more positive and less insecure, but it's also about asking yourself if this relationship really is compatible with your desires and needs.