Despr8 Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 I got dumped almost 2 years ago now from a long relationship and it's been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. Still dealing with it currently but try to stay positive. I went NC for 7 months then she reached out, made out a bit but got rejected. Went NC again for 6 months then I reached out and got rejected again. Her last text was..... "I know for certain I was meant to meet you. You changed me me into a better person and made me so, so happy for many years. I don't believe I'll ever have a purely love based relationship again like I had with you. The love I feel for you will never go away, and I agree our souls are connected. But I don't see my future with you. The lessons we learned from each other have run their course. I've completely moved on. Its really hard for me to tell you this but its true. I understand this means we will likely not speak again. All I can say is energetically I will always believe in you. You're a strong, resilient, smart and very handsome man. There is no doubt you will live a happy life, I wish you the best." I didn't reply back, figured there's no point anymore. I kept the text as a reminder and a learning experience. 6 months later, yesterday I went out with a friend just enjoying my night and I hear my name being called. Before I saw who it was she was hugging me and I was dumb founded. She said "I knew I was gonna see you today" and I awkwardly chuckled. She introduced me to her guy friend and I was nice but quickly the second she started conversation I just gave her short answers and a blank stare. She got the hint I didn't want to see her and she said bye. Those words though got me thinking and maybe I was looking into it too much. She knew she was gonna see me that day like she could sense me in a huge city NY. I tried to shake it off but my night was ruined and I got in my feelings I feel like one day she will want to return to me but I don't want to be anyone's consolation prize and hold true to that. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 Was it some place or some event you'd both been familiar with before? Either way, keep it in perspective because if she knew she was going to see you, if she had any intentions, she could have not brought her man with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Despr8 Posted May 12, 2019 Author Share Posted May 12, 2019 Was it some place or some event you'd both been familiar with before? Either way, keep it in perspective because if she knew she was going to see you, if she had any intentions, she could have not brought her man with her. Nope, I don't ever hangout in Brooklyn but my friend wanted to go to some lounge I never heard of. Odds are very slim in bumping into people in NY but to know you were going to run into me on that day is slimmer. It got me thinking maybe I'm still on her mind and she's regretting things. Doesn't matter though because I just looked at her stupid text and try to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 It certainly sounds like she still cares about you, but as for running into there of all places, that was probably just a one shot thing. As with any good or bad break up, we're all at least likely to run into our former partners at least once. But if she says she's moved on, you should too. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 (edited) You two broke up, you went NC, she reached out, you got rejected, then you go NC again and you reach out and get rejected. Then she runs into you and says "I knew I was gonna see you today." Your last line answers the question you're asking. I think you know in your heart how you feel about this and you know that you need to move on. We all hold onto false hope sometimes so it's understandable. If she has or had any intention of getting back together, she needs to fix "The lessons we learned from each other have run their course. I've completely moved on". Whatever "lessons have run their course" means. You're doing the right thing. Continue the NC and work on moving on. Edited May 13, 2019 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 You're reading too much into a throwaway comment. I think she just said something in the moment without giving much sincere thought into how you might take it. I know it hurts, but you need to let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Ugggh. Sorry about your luck. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 It got me thinking maybe I'm still on her mind and she's regretting things. That is nonsense and you know it. She hasn't regretted anything, dumpers rarely do. She sees no future with you and that is a huge deal. She didn't just dump you on a whim... Draw a line under this, it is time. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Uhg, sorry bro. I would not want to be in your shoes. You did the right thing by keeping that text as a reminder. The fact she came up to you says to me that she is no longer hurt and over it. It will be tough, but I would not think she is ever coming back in a romantic capacity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Despr8 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 You two broke up, you went NC, she reached out, you got rejected, then you go NC again and you reach out and get rejected. Then she runs into you and says "I knew I was gonna see you today." Your last line answers the question you're asking. I think you know in your heart how you feel about this and you know that you need to move on. We all hold onto false hope sometimes so it's understandable. If she has or had any intention of getting back together, she needs to fix "The lessons we learned from each other have run their course. I've completely moved on". Whatever "lessons have run their course" means. You're doing the right thing. Continue the NC and work on moving on. You totally get it. She's told me that lessons BS before and I just thought it was a load. I did so much for this person and my lesson is betrayal, heartbreak and sadness? I don't think she really knows what she did to me. On a blog she wrote, she speaks of me as the best thing she's ever had. I never understood how you decide to lose what you love. People tell me to move on. I'm doing it and it's taking time. I get that I hold resentment and anger. I know that if she came back it wouldn't work. I know that my pride and ego got hurt and I'm seeking her validation. Emotionally this messed me up and I dislike the person I've become with other women. Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Despr8 - This sounds like one heck of a coincidence. Was your friend who took you to the lounge friends with your ex-girlfriend when you two were going together. Is it possible that Ex asked your friend to lure you to the lounge so that she could run into you? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Emotionally this messed me up and I dislike the person I've become with other women. Sort that out right away, no-one deserves to be treated badly due to some other failed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Despr8 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 Despr8 - This sounds like one heck of a coincidence. Was your friend who took you to the lounge friends with your ex-girlfriend when you two were going together. Is it possible that Ex asked your friend to lure you to the lounge so that she could run into you? No, they don't know each other in any way. It definitely is a coincidence. We tend to talk always 6 to 7 months after not speaking lol. I think some people we are meant to bump into in life. I guess it's my ex which isn't fun for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Despr8 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 Sort that out right away, no-one deserves to be treated badly due to some other failed relationship. I don't treat any potential partner bad in any way. I'm very straight forward and tell them my intentions. But I'm very closed off emotionally when I wasn't that way. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I don't treat any potential partner bad in any way. I'm very straight forward and tell them my intentions. But I'm very closed off emotionally when I wasn't that way. Being closed off emotionally is hard to live with and can hurt a person a lot, especially if they are open and have given you their own heart.. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 I'm doing it and it's taking time. I get that I hold resentment and anger. I know that if she came back it wouldn't work. I know that my pride and ego got hurt and I'm seeking her validation. Emotionally this messed me up and I dislike the person I've become with other women. It's only been about a year, right? Give yourself more time. But remember that you're going to come out on the other end of this a different person. Take the lessons you've learned from this relationship and move on. Resentment and anger will do you no good. They are a waste of your time. Tell yourself that you deserve better. Know your worth and find a person who appreciates you for who you are. I realize it's easier said than done, but take your time. Take a break from dating if you need to and do what makes you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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