London12345 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I slept with a guy Tom who I'd known for a couple of years after he had become recently single. The issue is that it wasn’t a great experience (I was a bit drunk and it was on my friends bed – which I've not done before as I think its pretty disrespectful to do that) and I couldn’t remember if I had taken my tampon out before we had sex. Anyway it was just a 'quickie' and I still had most of my clothes on so not the best experience. I was mortified about the tampon thing and had to go to hospital later that night just to be on the safe side that it wasn’t stuck inside me – very embarrassing. We both agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone because it was on someone else's bed and it was best just to forget about it. We've not seen each other since (he was really sweet/caring about the tampon thing and phoned me/texted a lot to make sure I was okay so hes not a dick) – this issue is my friend Lisa was with us before we went into her flatmates room but we both (separately) told her nothing happened when she asked. The issue is, im worried he might decide to tell her or as a bit of time has passed she might bring it up and he says yeah. I've got anxiety that she'll fall out with me if she finds out I wasn’t honest with her/lied about what happened. Should I confess or just stay quiet and hope it doesn’t come up? We're part of such a large circle of friends Im worried if one person knows then everyone will and it was just an experience I'd rather forget. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Unless Tom was the flatmate's boyfriend or Lisa's, it's no one's business what you did in there. Tom told you he wouldn't say anything, you should trust him. If it comes out, so be it. It's not that big of a "crime" really. Not a great thing but oh well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author London12345 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 thanks - it was nobodys boyfriend or anything so i know its not the biggest deal but i pride myself on being an honest friend so it's not sitting well with me that he could say something at some point and my friend is then unsure whether to trust me or not - that's what is niggling at me. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Are you saying you should be truthful with your friend that you had sex on her bed during your period? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 thanks - it was nobodys boyfriend or anything so i know its not the biggest deal but i pride myself on being an honest friend so it's not sitting well with me that he could say something at some point and my friend is then unsure whether to trust me or not - that's what is niggling at me. This is not some huge betrayal of trust. You didn't promise her you'd never sleep with some guy on someone else's bed and make a blood pact. If she finds out and has a meltdown, she's a drama queen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author London12345 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 Are you saying you should be truthful with your friend that you had sex on her bed during your period? it was her room mates bed not hers - it was more should i be honest and upfront that it happened at all? i know its nobodies business but i feel bad she asked me if anything happened and i said no and then dont want it to come out later that i was dishonest. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Okay tell her but what difference does it make to her what you are doing in your sex life? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Is this the friend who kissed the good looking guy she knew you liked and now you have had sex with him? Do you want to tell her to piss her off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author London12345 Posted May 13, 2019 Author Share Posted May 13, 2019 Is this the friend who kissed the good looking guy she knew you liked and now you have had sex with him? Do you want to tell her to piss her off? no not her. i'm just wondering if i should say something coz she directly asked or if its best to just forget about it. its just been on my mind recently as i've seen on insta they've been hanging out a lot (nothing is going on - shes seeing his friend) but just scared its been brought up by him. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 (edited) Listen, you're a grown up and can do whatever you want. You do not have to report to anyone else. But, the real issue here, is that you did something irresponsible and embarrassing and you don't want to suffer any consequences. If you do the crime, you need to be prepared to do the time. It's no one's business and so far no one knows, you're lucky, but if it comes out, deal with it then and then admit you were not very bright that day and apologize if necessary. Otherwise, there's really no harm done. If Lisa can't put herself in your shoes understand that this would be embarrassing and most people would probably keep it under wraps and doesn't trust you over it, oh well. Frankly, I think this says something about the level of friendship you have with Lisa. If she were a true friend of yours, you'd have told her and the two of you would have giggled about it probably and she'd keep it a secret too. So, I'd say she's just a regular friend who doesn't need to know everything you do. Edited May 13, 2019 by Redhead14 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 i'm just wondering if i should say something coz she directly asked or if its best to just forget about it. I'd be more concerned about what Tom thinks than this friend who wasn't really involved... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 I’m trying to figure out how you had sex on someone else’s bed when you had your period - and they didn’t know. Wasn’t it blatantly obvious... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 it was her room mates bed not hers - it was more should i be honest and upfront that it happened at all? i know its nobodies business but i feel bad she asked me if anything happened and i said no and then dont want it to come out later that i was dishonest. Were you embarrassed to tell her that you had sex with him? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2019 Share Posted May 13, 2019 Before you go all "honest", just make sure no-one close to you has their eye on Tom, as the news you slept with him may not be well received. You do not want to lose friends over this. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunlight72 Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 Heck no, I don't see any reason for you to tell anyone about sleeping with Tom, and I don't see any reason you should feel guilty about not telling them. If ever it comes up, just laugh. Fortunately, really, within a week no one will remember to wonder what you and Tom did or didn't do. There will be more current flaps to cover on the gossip page 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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