LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 I can only speak for myself.... I had one "hook up" that turned into a LTR of 5 years and others that lasted just that night and no more. All of them worked out GREAT for me!! No regrets!! No issues or problems... I was extremely nomadic in my youth and didn't want anything permanent, anyway. And those were from LS meet ups? Huh, food for thought... And I fully agree with Elaine - sometimes that goes hand in hand. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Okay, so... if I did happen to want to extricate myself from this relationship, what would be the best way to go about it? Remembering she doesn't know my last name (I don't think), has no idea where I live except for the suburb, has no idea where I work (currently) and soon, will be totally out of the picture for 3 weeks.) Oh, TB, we have so much to teach you . JK....BUT....never underestimate the investigative (read: cyberstalking) powers of an interested female. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 As for her telling me about the patient passing away, would you tell your significant other about it? Or is it considered a breach of professional conduct to discuss it with anyone other than a relevant party/stakeholder? I guess what I'm getting at is, if you'd tell your husband or long-term partner who you trust with all your heart something, is it possible that she has some kind of delusion about this relationship and what I am to her and how trustworthy I am? I don't think it's a HIPAA violation if she didn't reveal any identifying info like his name or taking a pic of him. As far as why....she wanted attention from you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 But, HL - I dig reading your honesty and like that their are people willing to live on the edge!! I was a skydiver and BASE jumper for 17 years. Nothing really scares me. In my youth I did tend to "live on the edge". I still satisfy my "adrenaline seeking" with my sportbike (motorcycle) on the weekends. That being said... I don't have any children, but if I thought dating a certain person would endanger those children, I would cut and run, immediately. So, I both understand and agree with you on that point. Trail Blazer has not expressed that "L." has the potential to lurk in his hedge or do harm to his children. I think that "bunny boiler" line is an area very few people cross. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 HL says people have - where’s the thread to show how that’s worked out ? I know, I know, I can’t help it!! Not everyone appreciates my witty banter....you are more than welcome to take it how ever you want ? I really enjoy our back and forth! You “get it.” I’m mildly alarmed you think west Texas is “East” though..... Hehe! In a geographical sense, West Texas sure ain't half way if you're on the north east coast. "Meeting half way" was meant more as a euphemism. From where I'm flying out, I'll be heading as much south as I will be east. But hey, it's all semantics really. The offer still stands! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 And those were from LS meet ups? Huh, food for thought... All of my "hook ups" were from meeting women in "real life" bars/pubs/mutual sports activities/parties, etc. I briefly tried "on-line" dating and didn't like it, so I went back to meeting individuals in "real life" situations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nolanola Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 What @cautiouslyoptimistic said!! It makes me laugh that you think that she has no way of knowing these things about you - I'm betting she already does. Never underestimate a motivated woman. If you want to extricate yourself, I'd advise you to text her and tell her the truth. That you don't want to see her again. And keep your replies after that to a minimum - do not contact her again first. I think it's best to be totally honest, but not brutally so. She's not going to like it and I 100% think she will keep contacting you, but at least you've been straight with her and then you can block her if need be. I'm in a medical field too and I sometimes share my experiences with my patients with my close friends and family (without identifying information) because it can be very emotionally draining to hold all that inside. I wouldn't tell some random dude I'd be out twice anything like that though and I totally agree with @LenaRea as to how she could have conveyed basic info to you and what she really wanted. I feel sorry for this woman. She's clearly emotionally unwell and is hurting herself by hooking up with men that don't care about her. The fact that she was willing to downplay her needs when it was SO OBVIOUSLY not how she really feels (she said you were too good to be true??!?) just screams serious insecurity and emotional instability. Good luck to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 I don't think it's a HIPAA violation if she didn't reveal any identifying info like his name or taking a pic of him. As far as why....she wanted attention from you. It’s not a violation, but it straddles that ethical line, to me. But I fully agree she sent it to get attention and pull at his emotions. If they were in a relationship, as TB asked, that would be different as that would be a situation where she SHOULD be seeking emotional support and strength. And it’s not really text message information to me. Idk. I’m weird though. I feel people who “use” someone else’s health situation or another family’s pain as their own, it speaks to who they are and their integrity. To TB’s point, if someone feels comfortable texting that to you looking for support, yes she definitely views you as higher status in her life, worthy of trust, etc. Not NSA status. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 At best she knows my last name. We have no mutual friends on FB as she'd already told me her full name, and told me I could add her on FB, which I found to be an odd thing to suggest. She has not been to my house yet. She has no idea where I live and no means which to obtain my home address. And if she does, and turns up on my door step, it means that she's a) in contact with some unscrupulous individuals, and b) certifiably nuts (if she isn't already anyway). And yes, she said I was "too good to be true." I have a high opinion of myself as it stands, but even that is a bit of a stretch, even for me! Haha! But hey, like I said, screenshots... in years to come when I'm feeling down in the dumps, I'll refer back to that and know that I was too good to be true in the eyes of nurse L. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 The death of an elderly patient to a stroke is ten a penny to a nurse, I guess few heart strings tugged there. She was not looking for any support I guess, just telling him about her day, how busy she is and how she is going to be late home. Kind of thing one would tell a SO really... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Okay, so... if I did happen to want to extricate myself from this relationship, what would be the best way to go about it? Oh, and one last thing, you don't have to tell me to wear a helmet when out riding! The same goes for wearing protective clothing! I won't get on a bike without kevlar lined PPE! That's akin to saying, "wear protection when having sex with a random promiscuous woman you meet online and have sex with on the first night." It simply goes without saying! So - if you decide you are ready to get out, then I would probably be upfront, respectfully, (definitely from your perception of things, not her potentially altered variation) and just say honestly you enjoyed your time but think it’s run it’s course. You could also see if it fizzles while you’re away. Maybe without the instant gratification she won’t be as interested. I doubt that, but you never know. I would cease contact once you do it. I don’t know if you have to block her right away, maybe see how much she try’s to reach out, but she will more than likely try to keep up contact. Great comment about PPE!! I knew I liked you ? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 OP: two thoughts 1. The appropriate move to extricate yourself at this stage is just a simple phone call. Don't have to give many details. Just be clear and move on. 2. I don't think you're in a frame of mind or maybe have the personality for this casual NSA/FWB stuff. You spend far too much time over analyzing and second guessing her. My guess is it is just your frame of mind which actually brings us full circle to the title of your original post. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 L blew up my phone all day again... Do I just ignore the message? Say something very minimal? I feel like I'm being drawn into a vacuum here! The fact that you feel like you are being “drawn into a vacuum” IS A HUGE RED FLAG!!!! She 100% is trying to change your interest level into relationship level . TB, suggest you look up "personality disorder hoovering" or similar on the internet. She told me that she's referred to as "the bitch who broke his heart" It's not the broken heart part - that's understandable with ms. sexy nurse here. But the "bitch" part makes me wonder. You might seriously consider contacting this mutual friend. Make sure he doesn't tell her about your conversation. What dangers?? Do you think "L." will go all Glenn Close on Trail Blazer and boil his bunny? Hopefully not, but he was probably wise to turn down her offer to watch his cat for an entire month after one night together. ...and also, she lives in the same town as my kids and I am considering moving back there It makes me laugh that you think that she has no way of knowing these things about you - I'm betting she already does. Never underestimate a motivated woman. Guess we'd better HOPE she's not a bunny boiler... Final thought: IF she's borderline, this one month away from her for work is likely to go over like a lead balloon. My GUESS is it would lead her to find someone else to "totally love" and drop you. It's likely to be a 180 reversal and she'll either hate you or simply want nothing to do with you. Not saying this will happen, but don't be totally shocked. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 OP: two thoughts 1. The appropriate move to extricate yourself at this stage is just a simple phone call. Don't have to give many details. Just be clear and move on. 2. I don't think you're in a frame of mind or maybe have the personality for this casual NSA/FWB stuff. You spend far too much time over analyzing and second guessing her. My guess is it is just your frame of mind which actually brings us full circle to the title of your original post. Do you know why? Because deep down I know that she's a nut job and I'm seriously on edge. I knew it from the beginning and I guess I can't ignore that nagging reality. I feel like a gambler who's one wrong move away from the house of cards crashing down. If she was normal, then I would have no problem with NSA. It is what I want and if I genuinely believed it was also what she wanted everything would be okay. But my gut keeps telling me that something is really not quite right with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 It's not the broken heart part - that's understandable with ms. sexy nurse here. But the "bitch" part makes me wonder. You might seriously consider contacting this mutual friend. Make sure he doesn't tell her about your conversation.Just so we're on the same page here, that was referencing a different person. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Just so we're on the same page here, that was referencing a different person. Ah, ok. 10 char Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Trail Blazer wrote; But my gut keeps telling me that something is really not quite right with her. Not only your gut, we have all been telling you that from day one.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 Trail Blazer wrote; But my gut keeps telling me that something is really not quite right with her. Not only your gut, we have all been telling you that from day one.. I know you have. My gut was telling me that before I told y'all. But the sex.... this really is a dilly of a pickle, as Ned Flanders would say. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 I know you have. My gut was telling me that before I told y'all. But the sex.... this really is a dilly of a pickle, as Ned Flanders would say. Do you want to be such a classic representation of the stereotype of men only thinking with their dicks? I mean, if you do....that's fine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Don’t take this the wrong way, TB, but this is my favorite thread!! You guys have me in hysterics....thank you! I needed a good laugh. Edit: Actually, I think it was your pickle that got you in the dilly.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 Do you want to be such a classic representation of the stereotype of men only thinking with their dicks? I mean, if you do....that's fine. *sigh* You all sound like a bunch of mother hens telling me off! In all seriousness, no, I don't. I feel I'm smart enough to not be held ransom to my primal urges. The decision just won't come that easy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 Mark - I had the same exact thought the first time he mentioned the cat! I was screaming “nooooooooo,” with my inside voice. CautiouslyOptimistic - OMG....you’re killing me! Sarcasm so dry, I could shave my legs! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trail Blazer Posted May 25, 2019 Author Share Posted May 25, 2019 Don’t take this the wrong way, TB, but this is my favorite thread!! �� �� �� You guys have me in hysterics....thank you! I needed a good laugh. Edit: Actually, I think it was your pickle that got you in the dilly.... That's one way of putting it. Link to post Share on other sites
LenaRea Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 I do what I can :-P It’s not the end of the world, TB. I swear - I agree with you, an NSA situation is possible with the right (normal) person. Just, maybe, don’t dive right in next time; if your gut tells you something is off listen. You can always do sexy nurse cos-play with the next one as an alternative... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 25, 2019 Share Posted May 25, 2019 You can always do sexy nurse cos-play with the next one as an alternative... :lmao::lmao: True. I feel like he's gotten an insatiable taste for it at this point! Link to post Share on other sites
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