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I couldn't stop myself from playing games with her..... it went too far.

Jacobbradford29

By Jacobbradford29,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Rayce

Rayce

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I'm sorry did I misunderstand???? Are you in grade school? Your mom and her mom... wth

 

The bottom line is if you had treated her using the golden rule this situation would not of occurred. If you don't know what the golden rule is let me remind you.... Treat others the way you would like them to treat you.

 

Pretty simple... really

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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I'm sorry did I misunderstand???? Are you in grade school? Your mom and her mom... wth

 

The bottom line is if you had treated her using the golden rule this situation would not of occurred.

 

Pretty simple... really

 

Her mom got mad because my mom called her a name and she didn't say anything back. And I know I didn't treat her perfect. I want to right my wrong. But as I've stated she doesnt ever post anything anymore at all on social media, has changed her number and she works somewhere completely diff.

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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Leave her alone. You cannot recover from this. This is way past reparable. She finally "grew a set" and figured out how cut you out of her life and rightly so. This is how to handle toxic people in one's life.

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kendahke

kendahke

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How old are you again? Your mom is telling you who to date? You still living at home under her roof?

 

Yeah--only children play games. Now you're caught in so many lies (a.k.a. unforced errors on your part), you can't see daylight. All the people you have to face and tell them you lied about everything--boy, you might as well move to another country and start your life over.

 

 

Whew!!! Toxic a.f. You and your mother. Go find a therapist and work on that lying problem of yours.

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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Now you're caught in so many lies (a.k.a. unforced errors on your part), you can't see daylight. All the people you have to face and tell them you lied about everything--boy, you might as well move to another country and start your life over.

 

Even though I think you're intending on insulting me. Whag you just said is my point. If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar

 

 

The truth hurts, Jacob. You are at a devil's crossroad. You should reveal and confess what you've done in order to "do right" and yet, you know it would hurt your friends to know what a snake you've been and would hurt even more people and destroy their ability to trust you and you'd likely be chastised and shunned. And, what's worse is what you are more worried about how this is going to affect you, when you've done so much damage. Even if you keep quiet and escape accountability, you're not a good person. That's something you need to live with for the rest of your life and suffer with in silence.

Edited by Redhead14
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Orokotikki

Orokotikki

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and think I'm a huge liar

Which you are. They would just know the truth. Your mom will forgive you. Accepting the true consequences of your actions and coming clean is part of learning from them and truly changing to become a better person.

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Turning point

Turning point

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If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar

 

Which is why people who consistently do the right thing are so highly respected by others. It's a reputation you earn by action not deception.

 

The funny part is that you believe people don't already know the truth about you. I can assure you that your secret (regarding your nature) is out and nearly everyone you come in contact with learns to enforce significant boundaries with you.

 

Boundaries - this is why the OW has gone silent. Let her go, and stay away. Be honest about your bad behavior and fix what you have damaged about her reputation. You build a reputation one brick at a time. You have many to take down and new ones to lay.

Edited by Turning point
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kendahke

kendahke

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Even though I think you're intending on insulting me. Whag you just said is my point. If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar

 

My dear, your actions have already beaten me to the insulting part.

 

Just think what they're going to think once the truth does come to light--because the truth NEVER stays buried--it surfaces when it's least convenient for the liar. All this time you've looked in their faces and lied to them isn't going to go over well with them. Best to deal with this sooner rather than later.

 

But again--how old are you? Are you still living with your mother? This kind of behavior is sorted well before adulthood.

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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The funny part is that you believe people don't already know the truth about you. I can assure you that your secret (regarding your nature) is out and nearly everyone you come in contact with learns to enforce significant boundaries with you.

 

Boundaries - this is why the OW has gone silent. Let her go, and stay away.

 

What do you mean people know the truth about me? Like my mom? Ppl who actually hate and treat her with disdain because of me? If that's the case why would they treat her the way they do? And no I'm not proud.

Also get not posting anything at all how is that boundaries? I could see if she posted alot and she just blocked me but her page is public. She just hasn't been on there

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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But again--how old are you? Are you still living with your mother? This kind of behavior is sorted well before adulthood.

 

I'm 27 and yes I live with my mother. And before you make fun of me she's 26 and lives with her mother too because she's in school.

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usa1ah

usa1ah

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Even though I think you're intending on insulting me. Whag you just said is my point. If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar

 

Because you are.

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usa1ah

usa1ah

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I didn't mean just silent with ME. I meant silent period. she never post anything anymore. Do you think I want to be responsible for her being depressed? No I dont.. i know i handled it wrong. I got in too deep

 

What did you think would happen when you told lies about her and treated her the way you did.

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preraph

preraph

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Leave her alone forever, and get yourself into therapy with a psychologist. You have twisted thinking, you have a drive to punish women, you are a momma's boy, and you seem to lack a conscious, so you may be a sociopath or just a narcissist. But you need to go get evaluated.

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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@preraph I've acknowledged what I've done. There literally no way for me to fix it. If I ran into her right now, she would want me to stay away from her or pretend she didn't see me.

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kendahke

kendahke

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I'm 27 and yes I live with my mother. And before you make fun of me she's 26 and lives with her mother too because she's in school.

 

That isn't making fun of you: that's pointing out a problem you need to correct that could get you hurt depending upon who you pull it over on.

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Amethyst68

Amethyst68

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@preraph I've acknowledged what I've done. There literally no way for me to fix it. If I ran into her right now, she would want me to stay away from her or pretend she didn't see me.

 

 

You've acknowledged it to a bunch of strangers on the internet - you've done nothing to acknowledge anything to your friends and ex-coworkers that you trashed her reputation to so much you made them hate her. The same with your family, you didn't own your actions so they're blaming her for your lies and bad behavior.

 

 

You're 27yrs old but your reasoning sounds like that of a child, 'if I tell the truth they'll know I'll lied and setting like me any more'. You need to grow up and become more mature, take responsibility for your actions, you'll find people will actually respect you more.

 

 

 

BTW, if you lied this much in one aspect of your life I doubt it's the only area you lie in. Other posters are correct that people have already noticed this habit of yours!

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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BTW, if you lied this much in one aspect of your life I doubt it's the only area you lie in. Other posters are correct that people have already noticed this habit of yours!

 

 

If people knew I was lying....why would they hate her? Why would my mom attack her? If they thought I was lying.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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People have a greater aptitude for forgiving and supporting someone who owns up to his misdeeds and vows to be a better person than you are realizing. If you want to be a decent human, it's your only choice here.

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Orokotikki

Orokotikki

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TBH, OP sounds pretty comfortable and remaining a dishonorable liar and user of people. I hope he someday finds the courage to become a better man, but I think often people like that need to hit rock bottom and see how their poor morals eventually destroy their life and future before they wake up.

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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@orkkotiki I'm not actually. I keep pointing out that if people thought I was a liar, they wouldn't treat her mean because people keep saying "oh everyone knows you're a liar" but have no come back when I make that point

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elaine567

elaine567

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Who cares what people think?

You ARE a liar and a pretty nasty piece of work if what you have told us is true so what are you going to do about it?

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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@orkkotiki I'm not actually. I keep pointing out that if people thought I was a liar, they wouldn't treat her mean because people keep saying "oh everyone knows you're a liar" but have no come back when I make that point

 

I have no clue what this means?

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Jacobbradford29

Jacobbradford29

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I have no clue what this means?

 

It's been stated a few times that my family and friends suspect I am a "liar". So i have said several times. If they thought that then why would they hate her and no one seems to have a comeback.

Also I think people are missing the point. I was not trying to hurt her.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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It's been stated a few times that my family and friends suspect I am a "liar". So i have said several times. If they thought that then why would they hate her and no one seems to have a comeback.

Also I think people are missing the point. I was not trying to hurt her.

 

 

Are you suggesting she deserves to be hated?

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