Rayce Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 I'm sorry did I misunderstand???? Are you in grade school? Your mom and her mom... wth The bottom line is if you had treated her using the golden rule this situation would not of occurred. If you don't know what the golden rule is let me remind you.... Treat others the way you would like them to treat you. Pretty simple... really 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 I'm sorry did I misunderstand???? Are you in grade school? Your mom and her mom... wth The bottom line is if you had treated her using the golden rule this situation would not of occurred. Pretty simple... really Her mom got mad because my mom called her a name and she didn't say anything back. And I know I didn't treat her perfect. I want to right my wrong. But as I've stated she doesnt ever post anything anymore at all on social media, has changed her number and she works somewhere completely diff. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Leave her alone. You cannot recover from this. This is way past reparable. She finally "grew a set" and figured out how cut you out of her life and rightly so. This is how to handle toxic people in one's life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 How old are you again? Your mom is telling you who to date? You still living at home under her roof? Yeah--only children play games. Now you're caught in so many lies (a.k.a. unforced errors on your part), you can't see daylight. All the people you have to face and tell them you lied about everything--boy, you might as well move to another country and start your life over. Whew!!! Toxic a.f. You and your mother. Go find a therapist and work on that lying problem of yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Now you're caught in so many lies (a.k.a. unforced errors on your part), you can't see daylight. All the people you have to face and tell them you lied about everything--boy, you might as well move to another country and start your life over. Even though I think you're intending on insulting me. Whag you just said is my point. If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 (edited) If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar The truth hurts, Jacob. You are at a devil's crossroad. You should reveal and confess what you've done in order to "do right" and yet, you know it would hurt your friends to know what a snake you've been and would hurt even more people and destroy their ability to trust you and you'd likely be chastised and shunned. And, what's worse is what you are more worried about how this is going to affect you, when you've done so much damage. Even if you keep quiet and escape accountability, you're not a good person. That's something you need to live with for the rest of your life and suffer with in silence. Edited May 17, 2019 by Redhead14 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 and think I'm a huge liar Which you are. They would just know the truth. Your mom will forgive you. Accepting the true consequences of your actions and coming clean is part of learning from them and truly changing to become a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 (edited) If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar Which is why people who consistently do the right thing are so highly respected by others. It's a reputation you earn by action not deception. The funny part is that you believe people don't already know the truth about you. I can assure you that your secret (regarding your nature) is out and nearly everyone you come in contact with learns to enforce significant boundaries with you. Boundaries - this is why the OW has gone silent. Let her go, and stay away. Be honest about your bad behavior and fix what you have damaged about her reputation. You build a reputation one brick at a time. You have many to take down and new ones to lay. Edited May 17, 2019 by Turning point 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Even though I think you're intending on insulting me. Whag you just said is my point. If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar My dear, your actions have already beaten me to the insulting part. Just think what they're going to think once the truth does come to light--because the truth NEVER stays buried--it surfaces when it's least convenient for the liar. All this time you've looked in their faces and lied to them isn't going to go over well with them. Best to deal with this sooner rather than later. But again--how old are you? Are you still living with your mother? This kind of behavior is sorted well before adulthood. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 The funny part is that you believe people don't already know the truth about you. I can assure you that your secret (regarding your nature) is out and nearly everyone you come in contact with learns to enforce significant boundaries with you. Boundaries - this is why the OW has gone silent. Let her go, and stay away. What do you mean people know the truth about me? Like my mom? Ppl who actually hate and treat her with disdain because of me? If that's the case why would they treat her the way they do? And no I'm not proud. Also get not posting anything at all how is that boundaries? I could see if she posted alot and she just blocked me but her page is public. She just hasn't been on there Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 But again--how old are you? Are you still living with your mother? This kind of behavior is sorted well before adulthood. I'm 27 and yes I live with my mother. And before you make fun of me she's 26 and lives with her mother too because she's in school. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Even though I think you're intending on insulting me. Whag you just said is my point. If I were to do right by her, everyone would hate me and think I'm a huge liar Because you are. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 I didn't mean just silent with ME. I meant silent period. she never post anything anymore. Do you think I want to be responsible for her being depressed? No I dont.. i know i handled it wrong. I got in too deep What did you think would happen when you told lies about her and treated her the way you did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Leave her alone forever, and get yourself into therapy with a psychologist. You have twisted thinking, you have a drive to punish women, you are a momma's boy, and you seem to lack a conscious, so you may be a sociopath or just a narcissist. But you need to go get evaluated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 @preraph I've acknowledged what I've done. There literally no way for me to fix it. If I ran into her right now, she would want me to stay away from her or pretend she didn't see me. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 I'm 27 and yes I live with my mother. And before you make fun of me she's 26 and lives with her mother too because she's in school. That isn't making fun of you: that's pointing out a problem you need to correct that could get you hurt depending upon who you pull it over on. Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 @preraph I've acknowledged what I've done. There literally no way for me to fix it. If I ran into her right now, she would want me to stay away from her or pretend she didn't see me. You've acknowledged it to a bunch of strangers on the internet - you've done nothing to acknowledge anything to your friends and ex-coworkers that you trashed her reputation to so much you made them hate her. The same with your family, you didn't own your actions so they're blaming her for your lies and bad behavior. You're 27yrs old but your reasoning sounds like that of a child, 'if I tell the truth they'll know I'll lied and setting like me any more'. You need to grow up and become more mature, take responsibility for your actions, you'll find people will actually respect you more. BTW, if you lied this much in one aspect of your life I doubt it's the only area you lie in. Other posters are correct that people have already noticed this habit of yours! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 BTW, if you lied this much in one aspect of your life I doubt it's the only area you lie in. Other posters are correct that people have already noticed this habit of yours! If people knew I was lying....why would they hate her? Why would my mom attack her? If they thought I was lying. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 People have a greater aptitude for forgiving and supporting someone who owns up to his misdeeds and vows to be a better person than you are realizing. If you want to be a decent human, it's your only choice here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 TBH, OP sounds pretty comfortable and remaining a dishonorable liar and user of people. I hope he someday finds the courage to become a better man, but I think often people like that need to hit rock bottom and see how their poor morals eventually destroy their life and future before they wake up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 @orkkotiki I'm not actually. I keep pointing out that if people thought I was a liar, they wouldn't treat her mean because people keep saying "oh everyone knows you're a liar" but have no come back when I make that point Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Who cares what people think? You ARE a liar and a pretty nasty piece of work if what you have told us is true so what are you going to do about it? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 @orkkotiki I'm not actually. I keep pointing out that if people thought I was a liar, they wouldn't treat her mean because people keep saying "oh everyone knows you're a liar" but have no come back when I make that point I have no clue what this means? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jacobbradford29 Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 I have no clue what this means? It's been stated a few times that my family and friends suspect I am a "liar". So i have said several times. If they thought that then why would they hate her and no one seems to have a comeback. Also I think people are missing the point. I was not trying to hurt her. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 It's been stated a few times that my family and friends suspect I am a "liar". So i have said several times. If they thought that then why would they hate her and no one seems to have a comeback. Also I think people are missing the point. I was not trying to hurt her. Are you suggesting she deserves to be hated? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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