Complicated Relationship, What would you do?

[djkeivans]

Hey guys,

 

I‘m not sure how to start the story, since i‘m not really into writing but the theme is important to me.

 

 

 

So I try to be neutral, fair and tell everything non-sided.

 

 

 

Just to give you a small detail about my girlfriend and me. I am an engineer and beside that i am a singer and do it kind of professionally and my girl friend is a student and sings as well.

 

 

 

Over a year ago I was still a student and I dated a girl and we understood each other very well at the first date and she told me that she doesn’t have contact with other guys at the moment but hours later a text from a guy including a half naked selfie showed up on her phone and i accidentally saw it and got some how skeptical.

 

This relationship went very well for the next 3-4 months and we got in a serious relationship but this girl didn‘t want to post anything about having a boyfriend although she was very active on social media and got a a lot of attention from men on Instagram( and her ex was in that time texting her frequently and telling that he doesn’t believe that she has a boyfriend and asking about getting back together). After weeks of discussions she accepted that we post a photo together on instagram. Some days later we had a light fight and after she compared me with her ex and how better he was, she removed our photo from her Instagram. So I thought something is going on with her and the Ex so i told her not to call me again and it‘s over and blocked her (I know it was not right and grown up) but it was really suspicious to me.

 

I realized that it wasn’t right and maybe i’m mistaking so I unblocked her the next day waited the coming days for her, maybe she calls me or texts me and asks me the reason.

 

 

 

Some days later I got to her Instagram because I missed her and saw a comment of her Ex on the last pic, so i went to his profile and saw...Yes...he has very new pic with my girlfriend romantic and she was on he laps. So I contacted him and asked if the pic is old. He said no we are already together and we even had sex.

 

 

 

I couldn’t even believe it. i was dying inside because I was in love with her i couldn’t think of loosing her. But somehow i found out that the ex is texting another girl from his instagram and since i wanted to have a back i talked to my girlfriend about it and they broke up again and We dated again and we kissed and she promised to block him and never text him again. Some days later she went on a trip with parents for 3 weeks and during this trip she was weird again and ignoring me and bringen excuses like i‘m with parents and can’t text and the day she came back she said she can’t decide whether she wants to be with me or not so she broke my heart again and blocked... 2-3 days later she unblocked me and texted me that she made her decision and she wants me! Later on I figured out that she lied to me before and didn‘t block her Ex at the first place and texted both of us during the trip and her Ex was the whole 2-3 days after her trip at her place and they talked. And she just texted me because she caught him laying and flirting with another girl during their relation ship. Anyway I accepted her again.

 

 

 

Long story short i got very skeptical about her lying to me. So i wanted her to promise me that she won’t ever lie to me again because honesty is very important to me.

 

Again i caught her lying about the 2-3 days that her ex was at her place. It wasn’t just talking but they slept in a single bed and went to the beach together...so i got more jealous.

 

 

 

 

 

Months later the Ex called me and told me that she was a liar in their whole 3,5 years and he couldn’t trust her but i ignored it and told him that I trust my girlfriend. One day I talked to her mother and she even told me that she lies a lot and she doesn’t know when she is telling the truth and she doesn’t know why she grown up like this. She even told me if she was me, she wouldn’t trust her and would break up with her after what she has done.

 

 

 

I got more skeptical and pessimistic when she wouldn’t answer my texts for one hour. But in a funny way she was always more jealous than me, although i never did anything wrong and never lied to her. She even forbid me to „open“ the messages that I get on social media from fans. So once she realized that I open them (but she saw that I didn’t answer to any of them) and since then she told me each time that I once lied to her and it‘s hard for her to trust me.

 

 

 

She even blocked her mother for about a month because she was complaining why my girlfriend doesn’t take university serious.

 

 

 

She was always talking awful behind her mother’s back that she doesn’t like her, she is annoying and she doesn’t like her and she feels much better if she doesn’t see her for a long time. Or she ist not a decent woman she married 3 times and she married with her step dad just to be financially supported and so on.

 

 

 

About 6 months ago she started arguing with me why we should pay the same when we go to cinema or going out for dinner, although we were both students and we got the same from the government monthly and I paid more than 2 times more rent for my place because her step dad paid half of hers. But she believed that men should always pay for women and it doesn’t matter if they are students and have just enough money to be alive.

 

 

 

The fights over money got frequent during writing my master thesis and graduation. Because the government cut my monthly money. I was a singer so i got an offer to play guitar and sing in jazz bar but she forbid me because of jealousy. She thought girls may like me there and flirt with me. But she was working in a bar/restaurant until midnight and got hit on several times and i must be okay with it And at the end of the day I was the jealous person. She even wanted to broke up with me in these phase because of silly reasons. Once I had to move to another city and I had to borrow 80€ from her for moving. She asked me almost every day (for 3 weeks) when I return the money and once her father told me that he doesn’t want that she does my finances.( just because of about 80€). It was really embarrassing for me as s man. so Next day I borrowed money immediately from a friend and gave it to her just to stop the embarrassment and fights with her.

 

 

 

She helped me with moving 2 times though and I‘m thankful for that. And there where time which she invited me for food in 1-2 months that I had financial problems. but after each time she throw it to my face that she doesn’t like to do that and she doesn’t feel good or like a lady. so she ruined all the nice work and embarrassed me every time with that.

 

 

 

After that I caught her again lying about studying with a male classmate because she „thought“ i would be jealous because I am a jealous person. She told me she was with some girls. But in a very weird way she put my texts on mute when they met and put his texts when we met. She always told me that I am jealous Anyway I chose to believe that they just studied together and trust her again! But i told her next time if you want to study with a guy tell me! It‘s a lot better that lying to me. If she lies to me because of any reason it‘s over for us.

 

 

 

After that she started to fight with me because of any reason. Each time she couldn’t get what she will, she fought with me and broke up with me and every time i went after her beging her to stay with me. It went so far that she broke up every weekends that we met each other and I was the person who always begged her to save the relationship and promised to be a better boyfriend for her and do what she wants. We even went on a trip for about 8 days to London, so that I can introduce her to my family. She almost broke up everyday with me there. Once she broke up with me because I didn’t take enough photo from her ( about 40-50) or I took it without passion. And each time i had to say i’m sorry i do it better next time. The relationship turned into a childish game for her. But she reduced me every day and destroyed my pride.

 

 

 

So this Situation and arguing about money and why I don’t invite her more to dinner or don’t pay for our amusements and otherwise she doesn’t feel like a lady continued until one month ago.

 

 

 

She needed a PC and her step dad wanted to buy it for her. so I talked to her dad and convinced him to buy her an expensive one because I knew she wants to be a Youtuber and it will make her happy. Her dad asked me to help her order the parts from ebay and I said I will assemble them.

 

 

 

A week later I caught her again lying to me. She said she has a Whatsapp group and does an exercise there with a girl and 2 boys. And caught her lying and she confessed that she was with these 2 boys at the girl’s place and they were learning there and she didn’t tell me and told me that she is home and is cooking because of the same reason „ i would be jealous“, although I told her last time she should so i said the relationship doesn’t work anymore. you are lying to me so often. She didn‘t even apologize and just packed and went home and day after that she texted me that the PC parts have been arrived and if I assemble them and ofcourse I said no! Then she told me „F*ck you I don‘t want you anymore in my life“...and blocked me everywhere.

 

 

 

I got so angry and felt so used that she just wants me to do something for her and as soon as she doesn’t get it she throw me away. So I called her Mother and told her what she thinks about her and how ungrateful she is and what she has done to me in these 14-15 months ( I know that was a big mistake and truly childish and not decent from me but i couldn’t control my self anymore).

 

 

 

After that i regretted it and missed her and tried to call my girlfriend and apologize like always and beg her to stay, although she was the one who lied to me again and again. I cried and texted her until midnight. I didn’t want to live without her anymore. After all my Begging she told me she will just continue in these circumstances:

 

1- i should always drive to her if I want to see her ( since we live in different cities around 1.5 hours away from each other) and she won’t pay money or take her time to see me.

 

 

 

2- i have to solve her uni exercises and help her lern her uni stuff whenever she wants. Doesn’t matter if I have to work 12 hours a day

 

 

 

3- i always have to pay when we go out for food or cinema or anything and she tells me where and when we go.

 

 

 

4- i should never be jealous. Doesn’t matter what she says i should believe it.

 

 

 

I accepted all of them although all my friends told me she is overusing you just to have fun with you and get service there is no love.

 

 

 

So I started doing them. I drove to her and invited her for food and doing her exercises after work until midnights and even in eastern holidays as she was enjoying it with her parents, i stayed home the whole day and did her exercises.

 

 

 

Last weekend i drove 2 hours after 10 hours of work to her and was very happy to see her after a very stressful week at work and suggested her to help her with grocery shopping since i have a car so she doesn’t want do carry them. And then put her garbage outside. The day She cooked and we ate and In the morning she told me: wash the dishes now. I said I don’t like it, I help you with the stuff outdoor like garbages or grocery shopping etc. She said if you don’t do it then drive back home i don’t want a boyfriend in my life who doesn’t help me when I want it. So I told her it‘s going too far it‘s almost a month that I do everything you tell me and now because of not washing dishes you break up with me. I can‘t do this relationship anymore like this you just destroy my pride. So she throw me out of her place and.

 

 

 

If you read it until now please let me know what is your opinion?!! Thank you in advanced:love:

 

 

 

Sorry for the long story but i wanted to be fair and exact because she might read this:eek:

[d0nnivain]

My opinion is this girl is using you & you are too blind to see it. She is a liar. She is not a nice person. You should not trust her. When you are done being kicked around you will date a nice woman who appreciates the things you do for her, doesn't pit you against other guys, doesn't lie to you & isn't a gold digger.

[Redhead14]

I agree with dOnnivain. But besides that, anyone who drives me to write a wall of sh*t like this would be gone as soon as I hit "submit". Seriously. Go back and read all this slowly and then go and kick yourself in the butt and her out of your life.

Edited May 15, 2019 by Redhead14

[BaileyB]

It still amazes me sometimes how much people will tolerate in a relationship...

 

This one isn’t really very complicated at all...

[Redhead14]

BaileyB, it's very sad sometimes. Being committed to a relationship has nothing to do with allowing oneself to be abused, used and treated like a doormat -- only one person is committed to the relationship in these cases, and they aren't the happy ones. All for about 20 seconds of bliss every once in while . . .

Edited May 15, 2019 by Redhead14

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Accept that you love her - and also accept that this may not be a good relationship for you.

 

With whatever you choose, choose so with the knowledge that you chose it, not that anything is owed to you.

 

Basically, if it's worth it for you, then by all means, good luck. If it's not worth it for you, why bother?