Cheating boyfriend and with a white woman

[spicybrown]

um, yeah................

 

also wondering why the colour matters........

 

if i had said "my boyfriend screwed some black chick and is disease-ridden as a result" you would consider that to be the most racist, ignorant thing you've ever seen...much like how i view this post.

 

read the title, you can see what she views as the biggest problem...and it's not the std.

You also have to look at the history of WW/BM relations. Yes the past is the past, but a lot of BM are willing to chance their relationships in order to get a taste of white meat. Our counterparts are already dwindling numerically, and they'll specifically tell you they would cheat with a girl because she's white. Like that's supposed to be some dagger in our hearts:o . Same as WM leaving for AW in droves. Everybody has a motive upon action, either good or bad. But we BW know what's up. Also WW collectively don't have a WM shortage, and socially, economically WM are not tredding further behind other people. Most WM don't leave their heritage/families to chase BW. Again, every race would like to continue their legacy, and after Blacks came here on a deathwish, it only makes common sense to survive our bloodline. We can only do so with BM, truly. BW run 80% of families, how many non-black men do you know who step in and pick up the pieces? Remember we are not all of us are single by choice. There is the AIDS factor, homosexuality, disproportionate incarceration rates, unemployment, in the end the last thing we need is some "brother" making a conscious decision to NOT date BW. I hear it all the time, "Man if she ain't actin right, go getta white gurl!" . As though WW are some sort of rebound, or pushover. I personally would never date a man of such character, because he could easily transgress racial lines, and bring that attitude to us sisters:rolleyes:

[spicybrown]

i don't think the poster is racist, just insecure. You have to be a black woman to know. I lot of us won't admit it, but we are insecure when it comes to white woman. Society (esp black society) taught us as little girls that we were not pretty if we did not have "light skin and good hair" Many of us carry this on into adulthood. Add this to some (and I said SOME) black men who say that they only date white woman because they are easier to get along with than black women, they keep their appearance up better than black women (the weight issue), etc. So this lady is not racist, she is just dipslaying the insecurities that I lot of black women deal with.

 

Put it like this, if you find out you man is cheating with a woman, you are devastated. But if he is cheating with a man, it is even more devastating. Because you know that no matter what you do you cannot compete with a man because you cannot possibly have all the physical attributes of a man. I know a man being bisexual or gay is a much bigger issue but I say this only to make a point. A lot of black women feel like they cannot compete with white women because all the weave and contacts in the world can't change your color.

 

I am not racist. I believe that cheating is cheating. But just clueing you guys into some cultural differences. Lets continue a mature discussion. Because those of you with biracial children may have to deal with this someday.

 

StarBuck Queen

Girrrllll, I didn't even read your post, but I said the same things as you did. I personally have never been jealous of a WW, they are the ones who watch their mens eyes when they "encounter" me, especially if she is w/ BM:lmao: . I get a lotta WW hating on me on site. I'm just standing there, and I hear lil' snide remarks, this is when I compliment their men on their appearance, car, or physique:laugh: . Tell me that ain't insecurrrr. If BW are really that unattractive and these WW's men can't take their eyes off BW, then that says a lot about WM and their preference. It seems like a lethal blow to their ego. People just need to be satisfied with who they are. I know I'm posting a lil' late, but it's never too late. Plus I think SOME WW chase, and tease us with our men because they have found themselves BEAT in the looks department, against all odds. Don't forget, if you go to a club, get pi$$y drunk, have your legs open like a field goal all night, of course you're gonna draw ANY male attention. Let's see some of these WW screen men like we do, hold out, don't give up their checks, and not $uck on command, and we'll all see BM going back HOME. Every dog will eat a steak if it's sitting there saying "come get it", so to say:rolleyes:

[Mz. Pixie]

Girrrllll, I didn't even read your post, but I said the same things as you did. I personally have never been jealous of a WW, they are the ones who watch their mens eyes when they "encounter" me, especially if she is w/ BM:lmao: . I get a lotta WW hating on me on site. I'm just standing there, and I hear lil' snide remarks, this is when I compliment their men on their appearance, car, or physique:laugh: . Tell me that ain't insecurrrr. If BW are really that unattractive and these WW's men can't take their eyes off BW, then that says a lot about WM and their preference. It seems like a lethal blow to their ego. People just need to be satisfied with who they are. I know I'm posting a lil' late, but it's never too late. Plus I think SOME WW chase, and tease us with our men because they have found themselves BEAT in the looks department, against all odds. Don't forget, if you go to a club, get pi$$y drunk, have your legs open like a field goal all night, of course you're gonna draw ANY male attention. Let's see some of these WW screen men like we do, hold out, don't give up their checks, and not $uck on command, and we'll all see BM going back HOME. Every dog will eat a steak if it's sitting there saying "come get it", so to say:rolleyes:

 

WHAT??? So, the only reason a WW would get a BM is to sit in a club, drunk with their legs open??? And WW don't screen men, hold out, we give up our checks and we suck on command?? And the only reason a BM would be with one of us is because we're saying come and get it? Whatever!

 

For the record, I am a WW. I have had plenty of BM hit on me and I've never had to sit in a club with my legs open to do so. I also never approached one of them- throwing compliments or whatever- they approached me. I have never supported a man financially, all of my partners have held a job, I'm extremely picky and do not take crap from anyone I date. I also do not suck on command. This WW only sucks if she wants to.

 

Attraction is attraction, period. Doesn't matter if the person is white or black. What you're spouting here is stereotype, and if I were doing the same to you you would be beyond offended. Say I said something along the line of "Oh, these BW are on Maury all the time trying to figure out who their baby's daddy's are. Some of them have been on there 12 times or more!" that would be racist and not a welcomed comment.

 

Trash can be trash no matter what color it is. My point is that instead of tearing the other woman down, why not tear down the man? He is the one who had the relationship with this other person, no matter what color they are.

[jaye]

ANY MAN...who brings a diseas into you're bed unknowinly needs to be shot.

I believe that STD tests, HIV tests, AIDS tests..need to be published in whatever community you are in.

It is unfair to the rest of us that have no diseases or are run around sues.

 

It may seem a little "old world" and really just pig headed to say that, but I did a study on community diseases in the town that I live in.....and WOW...shocking....really really...shocking.

I was floored by what kinds of diseases run around. People unknowingly trust their bodys with total strangers....and in "your" case. You trusted your body with the man that you were seeing.."relationship". Im really sorry this happened to to...and I am a firm believer of KARMA.

Love may bind you by what you see, so cover your eyes and let your mind and heart do the talking not your eyes and memories.

He is the father to your child but he also a "guest" in your body @ times.

 

Let me ask you this:

Would you let a bully, bully you in the playground? No right??!!!!

Then why would you let a man bully you in your life? Answer please..

 

I may not know you and your partners whole detailed relationship but if he can have unprotected sex with a woman he is cheating on you with, and then have the NERVE to sleep with you with no protection...and pass the diseas along......"its over"...no second thoughts.

 

What could have salvaged in the relationship after he cheated on you was totally kicked on the ground and dragged in the mudd by him bringing home a diseas.

 

ENd of STORY

 

Reply please....keep strong.

 

 

 

Big reply but no answer.

[spicybrown]

WHAT??? So, the only reason a WW would get a BM is to sit in a club, drunk with their legs open??? And WW don't screen men, hold out, we give up our checks and we suck on command?? And the only reason a BM would be with one of us is because we're saying come and get it? Whatever!

 

For the record, I am a WW. I have had plenty of BM hit on me and I've never had to sit in a club with my legs open to do so. I also never approached one of them- throwing compliments or whatever- they approached me. I have never supported a man financially, all of my partners have held a job, I'm extremely picky and do not take crap from anyone I date. I also do not suck on command. This WW only sucks if she wants to.

 

Attraction is attraction, period. Doesn't matter if the person is white or black. What you're spouting here is stereotype, and if I were doing the same to you you would be beyond offended. Say I said something along the line of "Oh, these BW are on Maury all the time trying to figure out who their baby's daddy's are. Some of them have been on there 12 times or more!" that would be racist and not a welcomed comment.

 

Trash can be trash no matter what color it is. My point is that instead of tearing the other woman down, why not tear down the man? He is the one who had the relationship with this other person, no matter what color they are.

There is a lot of truth to most stereotypes, if not, how would one come to the conclusion? Trust&believe, I am a BW, and have BM accquaintances, and Black brothers, and I hear it all the time, and see it also. You KNOW there is an assumption that MOST BW have an attitude, and WW are more willing to $uck/do a better job at it. They just don't tell you, BTW why incriminate yourself? I hear it all the time. Remember, I never said all BM have the same motive, but all too many of them do. Put it this way, we all know men go to clubs to drink, and get piece of a$$. Right? It just seems that if they go to an exclusively Black club, they don't haved a big chance of scoring. So they go to a more integrated club, where the females aren't up on as much game as we sisters are, since we grow up around them, and basically share some of the same perspectives in life. A lot of them know that we know they're full of crap, so they walk on by, and find the next "victim", respectively:rolleyes: Also they try and "justify" their actions by saying BW are too difficult. More and more BW are trying to shake the image of a hoochie-mama, in order to improve our image per say. Yes, all women and men do it, but I am specifically speaking from a black POV, because it seems disproportionate according to our U.S. population. If BW are really bitc#es, then so be it, it's a dog-eat-dog world right?. I'd rather be deemed bitc#y, than considered slutty (unless you're a sex worker, or a stripper)

[spicybrown]

WHAT??? So, the only reason a WW would get a BM is to sit in a club, drunk with their legs open??? And WW don't screen men, hold out, we give up our checks and we suck on command?? And the only reason a BM would be with one of us is because we're saying come and get it? Whatever!

 

For the record, I am a WW. I have had plenty of BM hit on me and I've never had to sit in a club with my legs open to do so. I also never approached one of them- throwing compliments or whatever- they approached me. I have never supported a man financially, all of my partners have held a job, I'm extremely picky and do not take crap from anyone I date. I also do not suck on command. This WW only sucks if she wants to.

 

Attraction is attraction, period. Doesn't matter if the person is white or black. What you're spouting here is stereotype, and if I were doing the same to you you would be beyond offended. Say I said something along the line of "Oh, these BW are on Maury all the time trying to figure out who their baby's daddy's are. Some of them have been on there 12 times or more!" that would be racist and not a welcomed comment.

 

Trash can be trash no matter what color it is. My point is that instead of tearing the other woman down, why not tear down the man? He is the one who had the relationship with this other person, no matter what color they are.

BTW, I do see that the producers may have more BW on Maury, because a lot of Americans laugh hysterically at a BW who is emotionally distraught over her "baby-daaady". RATINGS! No that wouldn't be a racist comment if you also mentioned there are every color on there looking trifiling. This is seen with our two eyes on national T.V. The BM/WW issue is more of a mystery, and one cannot be sure why they're together out in public, because they're not broadcasting their business aloud. I know, everybody needs to mind their own business. But if a huge chunk of WM made rap songs to degrade you, purposely chased a women who looks unwhite, went on Ricki Lake disrespecting WW particularly, flossed non-white women in your face in an attempt to make you feel like less of a woman, abandoned WW in droves, neglected the white offspring, and took care of the bi-racial ones, left WW to raise white children on their own, (80%), would you not look at the nearest WM/non-WW couple in a different light? Especially if you are almost an endangered race/species, and you outnumber your racial counterparts, and want your race to survive, regarding how death was constantly amongst you historically. It is a lot more than a fat, jealous, bald, attitudinal, 5-6 kids havin', welfare queen, Maury Povich regular, BW being envious thing. Think outside the box. This leads one to draw conclusions, because it is still taboo to a lot of Americans. BW aren't the only ones who feel this way, we just have more at stake, look at the statistics. DUH. These so-called white separatists feel the way they do, because according to stats, their numbers are dwindling, so the push the issue of racial purity, scratch the other hateful jargon. Who wants their bloodline to be erased from the planet? Especially Blacks, and whites, because so many other races are a mixture of the two, some more, some less.

[megabit15]

i don't think the poster is racist, just insecure. You have to be a black woman to know. I lot of us won't admit it, but we are insecure when it comes to white woman. Society (esp black society) taught us as little girls that we were not pretty if we did not have "light skin and good hair" Many of us carry this on into adulthood. Add this to some (and I said SOME) black men who say that they only date white woman because they are easier to get along with than black women, they keep their appearance up better than black women (the weight issue), etc. So this lady is not racist, she is just dipslaying the insecurities that I lot of black women deal with.

 

Put it like this, if you find out you man is cheating with a woman, you are devastated. But if he is cheating with a man, it is even more devastating. Because you know that no matter what you do you cannot compete with a man because you cannot possibly have all the physical attributes of a man. I know a man being bisexual or gay is a much bigger issue but I say this only to make a point. A lot of black women feel like they cannot compete with white women because all the weave and contacts in the world can't change your color.

 

I am not racist. I believe that cheating is cheating. But just clueing you guys into some cultural differences. Lets continue a mature discussion. Because those of you with biracial children may have to deal with this someday.

 

StarBuck Queen

 

Thanks for the respectful and educational post.

 

What I don't understand is why on earth you'd want to change your color! White people pay a lot of good money on self tanners and tanning salons to attempt to get that beautiful skin!! I suppose that's the flip side of relaxers and weaves. We always want what we can't have, don't we??

[spicybrown]

Thanks for the respectful and educational post.

 

What I don't understand is why on earth you'd want to change your color! White people pay a lot of good money on self tanners and tanning salons to attempt to get that beautiful skin!! I suppose that's the flip side of relaxers and weaves. We always want what we can't have, don't we??

It's clled inferioriority complex, and self-hate. For HUNDREDS of years everyone has looked down on BW(Black+poor+woman+messed up reputation+ different looking=undesirable). Luckily I am freed from physical, and mental slavery, many BW have to shake the latter. ANYBODY who expects to win a marathon, starting off running backward, the opposite direction, will never be the victor

[Mz. Pixie]

Spicy-

 

Yeah, I understand why you might feel that way, but we have to rise above things like that.

 

Instead of faulting the BW or the WW- why don't we fault the BM that are doing all of this. My question is- why would you want a BM who would do all of those things in the first place? I wouldn't want a WM under the same circumstances.....

[spicybrown]

Spicy-

 

Yeah, I understand why you might feel that way, but we have to rise above things like that.

 

Instead of faulting the BW or the WW- why don't we fault the BM that are doing all of this. My question is- why would you want a BM who would do all of those things in the first place? I wouldn't want a WM under the same circumstances.....

MANY BW still feel undesirable to the world, and settle for the men who have the most in common with them, so these men won't scrutinize their differences. NEWSFLASH: A LOT of BM are perpetrating the same prejudices that were put on them back in the day:confused: When a woman does call him out on his actions thay call it BMB-Black Male Bashing, and the aftermath is us being labeled as emasculating bitc#e$. Oh well I am happy with my man:love: , but I still feel bad for those BW who haven't wised up:rolleyes: