A Rough Estimate Of How Many Women You Need To Meet Before You Get A Girlfriend

[Mysterio]

Its curious to note that for some reason. A lot of us think that being single is some hell to get out of. If one does not have a SO. Then you're lacking somehow.

 

I have a friend that has his GF living with him. It's basically just the two of them. he has no major friends for the most part and lives in a bubble with his Gf. I would never trade places with him.

 

For me. I guess it would be nice but then I look at my life. I have a lot of rich friendships and closer relationships with my family. If I had a GF or wife. I don't know if I would have had a rich family/friendships that I have now.

 

I think in order for us to live a great life. I think having a SO has to be thought of as an addition to our lives and not something lacking.

[chillii]

If my Mother was shown her life with my Dad. I don't know if she would do it again. Or maybe she would jump out after yr 10. They are still together yr 50.

 

Or if your dad would've chosen it if he could've seen that 10 or 15yrs either.

l know my dad would've ran like hell.

He met mum in the bank , don't see why that couldn't still happen

 

Anyway, they somehow went full circle though, probably because mum just would not let him divorce, and they made it to 56yrs with them doting all over each other again , amazing really.

No way these days would they have made it .

Edited May 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[guest569]

I would also challenge that passing intermediate algebra and being an expert are a contradiction in terms.

It's very common for your average hot girl in her twenties to have a plentora of boyfriends and be able to find someone new within 6 months if she breaks up with her current boyfriend.

You've left that 'plentora' of boyfriends out of the equation all together. For every average hot girl who has a boyfriend, there is an average hot guy who has an average hot girlfriend. Couldn't you also say that the 'plentora' are also monkey branching?? Or are they just passive place holders while women have all the power?

Edited May 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[5x5]

I will now give you the statistical probably of meeting your next girlfriend every time you meet a new girl because I clearly have no life whatsoever.

 

Sigh...

 

Let's just say you meet a girl that you find attractive, there is about a 69.474% chance that she has a boyfriend according to my calculations.

 

You do know having a boyfriend, doesn't always count one out. I've dated/had sex with a number of women who had boyfriends. Heck even my wife had a boyfriend as such, when she asked me out on our first date. Of which I didn't think no. I thought I'll have her and told her to dump the other guy, after we had our first date.

 

If they like tall redheaded asian guys will full beards and you're a short scrawny white boy, you're out of luck pal.

 

Here's a quote from my wife, "I've never dated a short guy before" which I've heard a few women say. Of which it was often after I had been having sex with them for a while.

 

But the hardest part is the social skills part, and this is where most guys mess up.

 

Well most don't mess that up at all, most don't actually suffer from anxiety problems that are difficult to overcome.

 

You have about a 86.452% chance of talking yourself out of approaching the girl you like for fear of looking like a total doofus and saying the wrong things, and a 1.23% chance of actually ****ting your pants over the thought of actually talking to her.

 

That's not ever been my experience, and sure I can have some trepidation only because I might be disappointed. Yet women aren't that different. So it really isn't a big deal, plus I would rather be disappointed and move on than be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

 

As to the crapping oneself, that's utter nonsense. Most people even when they face near death slow motion experiences, that doesn't happen to them. Having experienced more than one near death slow motion experience, I didn't crap myself and nor did anyone else in those same incidents. So I call BS on that.

 

 

which results in the girl 86.420% of the time thinking, "who is this weirdo?"

 

Nope, never happened to me, can't say I've seen it happen to anyone else either. That kind of thing is probably not that common.

 

Now you have a date congratulations! Tell your friends, tell your grandma, stand on the rooftops of a public building and shout to the whole world that you finally have a date. But not so fast! There's about a 34.217% chance that she will flake and won't even show up to the date.

 

Getting a date really isn't a big deal, I can't imagine wanting to herald such a thing.

 

I've never had any woman flake on me at all ever. Admittedly I haven't been dating other women, to find sexual partners since 1996.

 

But really for many people it isn't that hard.

 

I mean if someone thinks it's hard, and won't get over themselves it will be. Yet for the rest not so much.

 

My son is dating a pretty young woman who he met in line at a university open day. He started talking to her, then asked her out and they've now been together for more than half a year so far.

 

I've got two nephews who are for want of a better description, nerdy types who are engineers. They're not particularly tall, not particularly handsome. Yet one of them is married, and the other has just got engaged.

 

In fact with other nephews as well, plus a lot of other young people I know. They date successfully, have sexual partners and or are married. Likewise my oldest daughter (from my first marriage), she's married and didn't have trouble pairing up either.

 

Assuming she shows up to the date, there's a good chance that things won't advance past the second date, 67.693% to be exact. 46% of the time, it's because she's talking to multiple guys and simply likes them more.

 

All of your stats seem incredibly unrealistic to me. about two thirds of the women I asked out on a date said yes. Most of those led very quickly to sex and more dates.

 

Plus there were the women who asked me out, or expressed an interest or asked me to have sex with them. Of whom I said yes to about a third, and of that third it sometimes led to longer relationships including two marriages.

 

And that 32.307% chance that she puts up with you enough to stick around for the third date, about 82% of them, you will end up exclusively dating.

 

Well if she has to put up with a man, that man ain't much of a catch for her. Perhaps they both ought to pick someone else to hang out with.

 

How about settling for she likes you a lot, because she like who you are and how you are a lot.

 

I don't know about you, yet for all my plentiful foibles, I am still awesome and know it. Perhaps you might cut yourself some slack and like yourself, since great partners tend not to be self loathing people.

 

So if my math is correct, if you meet 10,000 girls, you should be able to date 46.328 of them.

 

It isn't correct.

 

Perhaps you might make more headway by addressing your anxieties and fears. Working towards being more socially adept and being bold. Plus stop wasting your time pondering superfluous numbers to no end.

 

Here's a pro tip, women face rejection as well. They're also human like men are, so talk to them like they're normal guys.

 

Good luck.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Out of men I would date that I meet in everyday life, 99.5% is married or in LTR. It's actually been 100% in the last few years but I am trying to be optimistic.

 

 

 

Out of those 0.5%, let's also be optimistic and say 50% would date me, which brings down the probability to 0.0025%.

 

 

 

I need to meet 500 man to get 1 date.

[ZA Dater]

There are two kinds of people

 

 

1: Dating is something they can accomplish

2: They try and try and try and get nowhere.

 

 

The responses will be tailored by which group they fall into. I can say this, meet a 100 ladies and you can still not get anywhere, sell your soul and grovel and you might.

 

 

I believe women love holding great power over men, if they didn't why not simply be more transparent? Men must give women a chance yet women can reject instantly.

 

 

The entire dating world is so slanted toward favouring women, men might as well line up and hope to be chosen. Sure this can be changed if one has supermodel looks or billionaire money but most women will ALWAYS judge on the superficial, whether they say so or not. Yet MEN cannot judge superficially.

 

 

Yes, its a numbers game, you'd be better off playing the numbers at a casino than playing dating numbers game.

 

 

Either you choose to let women have this power over you are you don't. If you do, well then they end up being rejected, there is nothing positive to gain from rejection as there is no constructive assistance provided.

 

 

Play the number if you want but realise they are stacked in the favour of women.

[LuckyM]

The numbers game theory may work in theory--meeting so many of the opposite sex in order to find the One---but actually, the man will get increasingly frustrated and depressed with a load of rejections that will undermine any confidence he had, increase his fears and self doubt to the point where his chances diminish over time. Unless he learns much from his experience.That's what happened to me. However, I foolishly asked out girls too soon before they hardly knew me. The cliche it doesn't hurt to ask is often wrong. If the answer is a big no then eventually you lose something by asking.

 

 

Really, most happily married couples or those with very LTR cannot understand this predicament because their lives are so very different. To them, there should be no problem. They are clueless, like comparing a rich person to a poor one. They don't know what it's like to go everywhere alone.

[ZA Dater]

The numbers game theory may work in theory--meeting so many of the opposite sex in order to find the One---but actually, the man will get increasingly frustrated and depressed with a load of rejections that will undermine any confidence he had, increase his fears and self doubt to the point where his chances diminish over time. Unless he learns much from his experience.That's what happened to me. However, I foolishly asked out girls too soon before they hardly knew me. The cliche it doesn't hurt to ask is often wrong. If the answer is a big no then eventually you lose something by asking.

 

 

Really, most happily married couples or those with very LTR cannot understand this predicament because their lives are so very different. To them, there should be no problem. They are clueless, like comparing a rich person to a poor one. They don't know what it's like to go everywhere alone.

 

 

 

Agree completely with you. I learn nothing being rejected, frankly I'd have liked to have told these ladies what I thought of them as opposed to having them wield such power.

 

 

You can go and ask 100 people out and you wont stand a chance with most of the if you DONT CONFORM, as soon you dare be different in any way at all you are DONE. Women are seemingly so insecure they are scared of anything that isn't the same as what their friends have.

 

 

Either you get down about rejection or you stop caring, or you direct that energy into other more rewarding things. Ultimately men must realise any decent looking women has choice, whereas the average guy doesn't, women want the hot guys which they can get even for one night, the average guy cant get the attractive women because she doesn't want the average guy. Unfortunately unless you have money to throw around, your looks are going to dictate what you can get, its taken me 15 years to realise this, you can be the kindest guy around but that wont matter one bit because men are accused of treating women like trophies, the reverse is equally true, in fact I'd argue its even more true.

[Veronica73]

I suppose it can be a numbers game for people who think they could be suitable with a wide variety of people.

 

That is not how I am, and I have a really hard time understanding that viewpoint. But I have heard of people saying that they could be happy with any number of partners.

 

Personally, I am not one of those people. I don’t think I’d be compatible with a wide variety of people. I’m a bit odd and particular. So, no. The numbers game doesn’t work for me at all. In fact, if anything, it will just make things worse. Because I’d be wasting my time with all these people who I’m not compatible with, that it might distract me from noticing one of the people I actually am compatible with.

 

And earlier, I think somebody mentioned about how young women have their pick, and they are overly choosy, and then when they get older they aren’t valued any longer (because horror of horrors, they have aged!) and so (not the words of the poster, but sort of the impression they left me with) they are left with their choice of the dregs of society. That has not been my experience. I’m middle aged and still don’t have any problem getting dates with decent men. Yes, almost all of us have a hell of a lot more baggage and issues than we had when we were in our 20’s. But that should kind of be expected with people who have been through a lot of experiences and aren’t narcissists.

[mark clemson]

The entire dating world is so slanted toward favouring women, men might as well line up and hope to be chosen. Sure this can be changed if one has supermodel looks or billionaire money but most women will ALWAYS judge on the superficial, whether they say so or not. Yet MEN cannot judge superficially.

 

 

Not to be mean but, this just seems incorrect to me. I haven't dated in a long time, so perhaps I match what LuckyM is saying and don't get it.

 

Maybe I'm overconfident out of ignorance, but I think if you come across as a great guy who's worth having, plenty of women will be interested.

 

I do think that plenty of men "judge on the superficial". In some cases to a dehumanizing extreme. Certainly *some* women do as well - doubt that all do.

 

At the risk of giving advice that won't work because I don't get it, I think there are ways to play this to one's advantage - specifically:

 

 

• Work on your appearance as best you can; give it some real work if necessary
  
• If you don't have a lot to offer financially make it clear that you have ambitions and a plan
  
• Try to appear as confident as possible and if needed hide emotional neediness you may feel
  
• Try your best to be a good conversationalist and friendly; this again may involve masking insecurities you may have initially as an unfortunate necessity
  

 

I don't have supermodel looks, I'm certainly not a billionaire, and I'm 5'10. I do have a nice haircut, trim my facial hair, workout at the gym and have big shoulders. I get plenty of looks from women. I've never been overly fussy, so I've dated both very attractive and "just decent" women in my day. Sort of whatever happened to come along.

 

If a guy genuinely comes across as a decent catch, aren't there plenty of women out there who would want to keep him rather than let him go to someone else?

 

Maybe I just don't get it, dunno.

[chillii]

The numbers game theory may work in theory--meeting so many of the opposite sex in order to find the One---but actually, the man will get increasingly frustrated and depressed with a load of rejections that will undermine any confidence he had, increase his fears and self doubt to the point where his chances diminish over time. Unless he learns much from his experience.That's what happened to me. However, I foolishly asked out girls too soon before they hardly knew me. The cliche it doesn't hurt to ask is often wrong. If the answer is a big no then eventually you lose something by asking.

 

 

Really, most happily married couples or those with very LTR cannot understand this predicament because their lives are so very different. To them, there should be no problem. They are clueless, like comparing a rich person to a poor one. They don't know what it's like to go everywhere alone.

 

 

Not really , most married people went through single too or alone or fkd relationships, lemons, mistakes, apart from ones married really young. But in the reverse, you couldn't even fathom what they also go through in a marriage, especially if it breaks up.

The rejection thing , your just shooting blind , you gotta be selective you don't go asking just anyone out that gives you no interest in the first place or with no likenesses, a feeling, vibe between you. You don't even have to know each other sometimes.

When you wanna buy a car you don't go test drive 200 cars, you figure out what you want and look for that, or a career, or a house..

Some people have no sense of this stuff and that's one area they can go big wrong.

Edited May 19, 2019 by chillii

[chillii]

Out of men I would date that I meet in everyday life, 99.5% is married or in LTR. It's actually been 100% in the last few years but I am trying to be optimistic.

 

 

 

Out of those 0.5%, let's also be optimistic and say 50% would date me, which brings down the probability to 0.0025%.

 

 

 

I need to meet 500 man to get 1 date.

 

 

 

 

Yeah true , can work like that too. l'm extremely fussy and picky, it's rare l saw or met someone l'd go for, takes a few years even in 20s or what, me that was cool l preferred to wait for quality.

Edited May 19, 2019 by chillii

[LuckyM]

I know no married people who understand the dating scene, at all.

Most of them married fairly young or else went on few dates before they married, including my parents, who knew nothing. I don't think I ever met a married person who really understood the frustration, rejection, loneliness of dating. Television and movies and other media are partly responsible for giving the illusion that single life is all fun and laughs because it makes viewers feel better.

You could say talk to a therapist about it. I doubt if they get it either.

 

If it is a numbers game, I am into negative numbers!

[Mysterio]

This is my single life right now.

 

I have a cat. I live in a Condo down the street from work. If I walk to work its about a one hour and 20-minute walk that including me getting into the Hosptial. It takes 15 to 20 minutes to get to work by bus and that's sort of including the three to four-minute walk to from my Condo to the bus stop.

 

I work out 5 times a week. I see my friends on a regular basis and my brother/mother/father. I go to local live bands on the weekends if I am not working Eve/Nights.

 

At age 48. I am still making friends.

 

In 2012, I had a GF for 6 months. We broke up because she wanted to fast track a child into our relationship. I was not ready for that. As I felt we were not that gelded as a couple. She had one done through in-vitro, as none of the guys in after I were about to have a kid with her.

 

2013 I made an atempt to romantically date a woman at work. We went on one date and it fzzeld after that. She was moving.

 

2015 back to Match.com. Went out on one date after a month of E-mailing. Nothing came of that.

 

2017. Asked out my Areobics instructer at the gym. We went out for lunch. She told me she was married.

 

So it been nothing ever sinve. I am out there and I socialize. Its just that I am not trying to get with every woman I meet.

 

So in my head from what I have seen. It feels like for us Men. Trying and making an effort does not really work well. All my Male friends that have SO/Married. Its the women that came to them for the most part. Those men are basically happy. Why? They did not have to do very much. Its happened to me as well. I just have to wait for it. I am at a point where I don't feel like I want to be out there all the time. All my previous romantic situations that have worked out in the short term, came from women that made the moves on me. Not me making the effort. When I do make the effort its always in a laid back manner.

 

I think some of us are going to have to let Love come to us. We have to stop saying that something is wrong with us all the time. For me, I really think I have not had a great match, where the woman and I are on par with each other, and well suited in our style of relationship. I also think for whatever reason. My picks don't work out. Even beyond the looks part. It feels like the women that like me and make a move on me. They are way more suited for me than the women I pick. It's just that I have to make it last a little more. No one is perfect, so I have to live with what I get to certain extents.

 

One thing that's a pattern with a lot of men looking for love is that our picks are not into us or there is an obstacle. For me, the obstacle is that it feels like most women are attached to mediocre relationships. I think I just go about my life. Be open to it. Not try and stay and be the driving force to acquire love like and Artifact.

[basil67]

You can go and ask 100 people out and you wont stand a chance with most of the if you DONT CONFORM, as soon you dare be different in any way at all you are DONE. Women are seemingly so insecure they are scared of anything that isn't the same as what their friends have.

 

Comments like this go a long way towards explaining why you're single. Not just judgemental way you speak about women, but the lack of understanding of people in general. I think you really don't understand how neuro typicals date.

 

Ever heard the expression "Birds of a feather flock together"? It applies to dating for both men and women. Do you recall a male poster who wouldn't date a girl because of her purple trousers? He needed someone who would conform to his level of social norms.

 

My daughter dresses very alternative in second hand clothes, Dr Martens, short hair, glowing white skin, dark lipstick, tattoos etc. She never gets hit on by boys on a day to day basis because she doesn't conform to their norms But she does get hit on when she goes to indie concerts. The indie boys don't assume "lesbian" when they look at her hair and they aren't scared off by her looks. Why? Because she conforms to their normal. Contrast this to her good friend who dresses pretty, wears traditional makeup, long blonde hair....all the regular boys are interested in her because her looks conform in a regular way.

 

Humans are tribal. They are most comfortable with people who are like them. And I have no idea why you think any of this is about insecurity of women.

[Mysterio]

Ok, Basil. What would you consider Norms or within my leagues?

 

I am a Black male. 5'9. In Fit shape around 200lbs. Age 48. Yet people think I am more 33. Shaved face and head. I dress like this. Rock and Roll t-shirt or something on it. Think Lucy Brand jeans t-shirt. jeans and Sketcher shoes. Leather Jacket.

 

My fave Music is James Brown/Sam and Dave, Sly and the Family Stone, Led Zeppelin/Hendrix/Heart/Ac/DC, Aerosmith. Anything that is basically late 60 to late 70's Jazz/Funk/Soul/Rock and Roll.

 

I get told this. My lips are soft for kissing women. I have more of a soft presence. I am a good listener. Spiritual. Even though I don't go on about it. Personalabe and talkative. No overbearing. If I am quiet people think something is wrong.

 

Sometimes I wear a collared shirt with a Black or Blue Blazer. Sometimes I have a fedora or Apple Jack hat. I listen to a lot of Rock and Roll/Soul/Jazz and go to that venue

 

Most of my friends are Caucasian. I have about 6 women friends. 14 guy friends.

 

So what could the vibe I give off be?

[chillii]

You'd sound like a catch to me , well if l was female.

 

l'd say an easy genuine vibe, kinda happy and easy to be with.

[basil67]

Mysterio, I'm not talking about leagues. I'm talking about how people seek others who are like minded. Are you having trouble finding people who like what you do?

[5x5]

I know no married people who understand the dating scene, at all.

Most of them married fairly young or else went on few dates before they married, including my parents, who knew nothing. I don't think I ever met a married person who really understood the frustration, rejection, loneliness of dating. Television and movies and other media are partly responsible for giving the illusion that single life is all fun and laughs because it makes viewers feel better.

You could say talk to a therapist about it. I doubt if they get it either.

 

If it is a numbers game, I am into negative numbers!

 

That would sort of be me, through my first marriage although not entirely.

 

Having married young at 19 (we started together when she was 16 & I was 17) and being separated at 20 (divorced while still 21), I didn't have a lot of experience in dating others as an adult.

 

Although I had been with several girlfriends from the end of Primary School, through High School as well. Plus I had also been rejected on limited occasion as well. So I had been through wanting others, being rejected and getting what I wanted.

 

Plus I also knew well turning down other girls as well. Including one sweet friend who was a year older than me. Who asked me to have her virginity and be her girlfriend at the same time, yet I rejected her since wasn't attracted to her like that.

 

That said after being separated from my ex-wife, I easily had sex with other women. While I also had no trouble having casual sex, dating others or finding ongoing sexual relationships. Some being short lived while others lasted for months, through years with my now second wife who I married while I was near turning 28.

 

Through that I experienced rejection, which was fine as I also rejected others. We simply can't help who and what we like, so I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I can't say I experienced much loneliness or frustration, despite sometimes not being partnered in a sexual relationship for weeks or a few months at a time.

[Mysterio]

Mysterio, I'm not talking about leagues. I'm talking about how people seek others who are like minded. Are you having trouble finding people who like what you do?

 

Basil. I hear you, but when I make friends. I don't make friends with unlike-minded people. Men or Women.

 

My life is working at the hospital/working out at the YMCA. Going to Rock concerts and local concerts. Seeing my family and friends. I have 3 major women friends. One is 68. One is 38 and the other lives in the states to my Canada and she is 47.

 

Its almost like for me in my head. There are a limited amount of women that like me. If the Married woman likes me. Thats basically it for the year. I have no major options. I don't fool around with married women. Its like Women in my age range are nowhere in sight. I can't think of a single woman that is close to my age that I could form a romantic relationship with. I don't feel comfortable soliciting every woman I see.

 

I don't know why my friendships are the easy part of my life and my relationship with my Parents/Brother.

 

 

Here is my ideal woman. She is single/childless. She likes being active in working out. She likes to go to movies/poetry readings/plays/music venues. activities where we can discuss how it was.

 

We have interesting conversations and laughs about things.

 

I would like physical affection as well. Kissing/Making out/Making Love. Does not have to be every day, but at least 3-4 times a week.

 

We give each other space as well, not attached at the hip.

 

I don't see how hard that is. I do lean towards being the introspective type and not player type. Which I am sure she does not want me to be a player.

[crispytoast]

Did anyone else get the feeling that the OP could turn this into a viral TED Talk? Spend 15 minutes going into intense detail about the numbers game and then close off the talk by saying that it's actually not a numbers game at all and it's about being yourself and being open to love.

Edited June 4, 2019 by crispytoast

[Fekenaws]

I got rejected about 7-10 times before my first relationship which lasted about a year and a half (depending on when you believe it started). In between all that I managed to get 1 one night stand at a big college event when I was visiting my friend