snowcones Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 This was sent to me today. If you have 12 mins to spare to watch it, it may help you too. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 (edited) Watched it. I agree with his advice to stop idealizing and make yourself think of the bad things. I had to come up with that myself on one guy. There were plenty of negatives about him and it was never that I didn't have my eyes open, but he had such potential and talent. He hung around three years but wouldn't sleep with me. I wouldn't know for another 10 years it was because of ED. I went mad trying to understand why he wouldn't go away but he also wouldn't move forward and would flirt with other women and everything. When I finally pressed him for an answer, he hinted at the ED but not in a way I could understand. It was a male friend who said that might be what he meant, but I didn't know until he himself told me 10 years later on a visit out of town. By then he had dealt with it. So when I had to move on or lock myself in a mental institution because he had me believing our relationship was all in my head, I made the rule. For every time you miss him, think of two bad things about him. And I did that and it did help. And I was social and did move forward. I met a guy and moved my love over to him and it was such a relief, but that ended in disaster. At least when that ended, I only had to remind myself of one big bad thing and not scrape my memory for two little ones.... But permanent harm was done to me from having to accept that that relationship was all in my head. I lost my compass, lost faith in my own reasoning. It caused a fissure which would later turn into a big break years later. It mortally wounded me. And it wasn't even true. It was him. Edited May 20, 2019 by preraph 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 21, 2019 Author Share Posted May 21, 2019 preraph, wowwwwwww, that's an amazing story. I'm sorry you went through that. I can see how the dynamics of that relationship would totally mess with your head. It takes a really strong and smart person to do what you did and move past that one. He sounds totally selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
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