How would you feel?

[dragon_fly_7]

I'm not sure if this belongs to this topic but it deals with grieving and losses.

 

I was wondering if you would be offended with this or not:

If you had to deal with the loss of a loved one and it was in the news, how would you feel if a random stranger named their child after him/her?

 

I just made a personal promise that if I ever had a daughter, her name will be Layne Elysse. That's the most beautiful name I've ever heard and it belonged to such a sweet girl that died in such a horrible way.

 

She died on the 12th of this month after struggling for 16 months with horrific 3rd degree burns on 95% of her body after a bonfire accident. She was on the news.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/local/st-lucie-county/2019/05/10/layne-chesney-dead-after-almost-1-5-year-long-battle-against-severe-burns/1165031001/?fbclid=IwAR1yJOslX-RJda8bOkmIJaJp7d0-YJ1pTMlEhoiIndJ_ysDyExEP3XmQViw

 

That's one of the most saddest case I've ever heard. Part of me feels as if I'd known the girl but I never did. I'm not even in the USA. She fits the description of the daughter I would be proud of: brave, pretty in every way, kind soul, beautiful name, friendly, outgoing and into sports.

Edited May 19, 2019 by dragon_fly_7

[The Outlaw]

I wouldn't like it being on the news for anyone I know to see, but I think I'd be honored that someone named their child after I had lost my loved one.

[preraph]

I don't think it's healthy for you to have such specific preconceived notions what your child will be like. She's not going to be like that girl. How would she feel knowing you named her after a dead girl? You certainly wouldn't ever want her parents to see it. It would be painful for them and confusing. Your child might later feel cursed that you put that name on her and worry about burning or something.

 

You can surely find another name. Like instead of the exact name, if it's the repeating Y's you like, maybe Payne Blyss or Layney Eryssa. She's not that girl.

[Mr. Lucky]

She fits the description of the daughter I would be proud of: brave, pretty in every way, kind soul, beautiful name, friendly, outgoing and into sports.

 

As the father of four, I can tell you each and every one has thwarted my expectations for them at various times. I'd be careful making such specific assumptions about a daughter you haven't had yet.

 

If she's plain looking, quiet, introverted and into art, you're saying you won't love her as much ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[todreaminblue]

I really feel its important for a child to have their own identity.....their own little special self......their name is something they have their whole lives......but that's my opinion.....i think its a bit sad to name a baby after someone who had a horrific accident and is horribly disfigured or dead...thinking about it even makes me feel .....sad...my girls have family members names as middle names to carry on the line.....ancestors and family....but their first names are them....their own special little selves..not so little anymore they are grown now.........deb

Edited May 20, 2019 by todreaminblue

[Gaeta]

Most people I know that were named after a lost one don't like it, they don't feel special and resent they don't have their own name but were named with someone else in mind.

[stillafool]

I have a cousin who was named after her Grandma (only her middle name) and she hates it. I would be honored but not everyone feels this way.

[elaine567]

I don't think it is good for a child to be named after someone who died so young in such a horrific way.

It will creep her out.

She will feel like her destiny is laid out for her... she will breathe a sigh of relief if she gets past 16...

[elaine567]

I have a cousin who was named after her Grandma (only her middle name) and she hates it. I would be honored but not everyone feels this way.

 

Traditions are just that traditions and carrying on the family names are important in some families and cultures.

Great grandfather = William

Grandfather = William

Father = William

Son = William

Unborn first born = William

I think for some it gives them a sense of history and belonging.

I don't see that as macabre or creepy.

[d0nnivain]

How would I know that the random stranger named their kid after my dead relative? Presumably the deceased & her family are people you heard about on the news. Nobody is going to forward your child's birth certificate to the family.

 

The idea that you are picking out names when you are pregnant is more odd to me but to each their own.

[todreaminblue]

i had this three legged turtle and i had the instant need to call him/ her(never saw a turtle penis so it could have been either male or female) gilbert .....turned out that was my ancestors name i wasnt aware of at the time......another time a dog found our home and i wanted to call her misty.....turns out her real name was missy i found her owner and i found out her real name.........

 

i feel when you name a child or even a dog or other animal(they all have spirits)that naming place has to come from somewhere good....that feels right and warm ....and makes you feel excited....in no way sad or despondent.........i chose all my kids names inutero with the fathers ...my suggestions......including my miscarriages.....i did not name my living children after a miscarriage i had...because it just didnt feel right..maybe that seems weird....to do so....but i believe their spirits went back to heaven with their names..and im going to have a really big reunion when its my time ....children animals...im going to have my own little farm up there....

 

what i do believe in is doing what feels right and good to do so ...if you have to ask there is doubt about the rightness.....ultimately though ...its personal choice....it needs to be personal ...and it has to feel right to you.....deb

Edited May 20, 2019 by todreaminblue

[Foxhall]

I'm not sure if this belongs to this topic but it deals with grieving and losses.

 

I was wondering if you would be offended with this or not:

If you had to deal with the loss of a loved one and it was in the news, how would you feel if a random stranger named their child after him/her?

 

I just made a personal promise that if I ever had a daughter, her name will be Layne Elysse. That's the most beautiful name I've ever heard and it belonged to such a sweet girl that died in such a horrible way.

 

She died on the 12th of this month after struggling for 16 months with horrific 3rd degree burns on 95% of her body after a bonfire accident. She was on the news.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/local/st-lucie-county/2019/05/10/layne-chesney-dead-after-almost-1-5-year-long-battle-against-severe-burns/1165031001/?fbclid=IwAR1yJOslX-RJda8bOkmIJaJp7d0-YJ1pTMlEhoiIndJ_ysDyExEP3XmQViw

 

That's one of the most saddest case I've ever heard. Part of me feels as if I'd known the girl but I never did. I'm not even in the USA. She fits the description of the daughter I would be proud of: brave, pretty in every way, kind soul, beautiful name, friendly, outgoing and into sports.

 

 

 

Personally I do not see a problem with naming her after the lost loved one, in a sense you are transferring your ghost affection for this person onto to someone you intend to love,

 

your comment relating to a daughter you would be proud of,

 

is there an inclination there of trying to live your own dreams through your children,

and are you saying you would not be proud of her if she did not happen to live up to those ideals?

 

that last remark of yours bothers me a little but maybe I am interpreting it incorrectly.

[dragon_fly_7]

As the father of four, I can tell you each and every one has thwarted my expectations for them at various times. I'd be careful making such specific assumptions about a daughter you haven't had yet.

 

If she's plain looking, quiet, introverted and into art, you're saying you won't love her as much ?

 

Mr. Lucky

Off course not. I would still love my child regardless of whether she's like that girl or not. My child will always be beautiful in my eyes.

 

That's just my emotions regarding that case of that poor teen that didn't deserve to die in that manner. She happened to have a beautiful, unique name.

 

I have to agree with what a couple of you mentioned about how my child's reaction will be like. In that case, I can use Layney as suggested by preraph.

[dragon_fly_7]

I have a cousin who was named after her Grandma (only her middle name) and she hates it. I would be honored but not everyone feels this way.

It's common for some people to carry out family names. I got my paternal grandmother's first name. My father thought it was important for him to always honor his mother and keep her memories when she dies.

She passed away when I was 8 but my father was happy I had her name. One time, he commented that I kind of resemble her both physically and the way I carry myself.

 

I have to admit sometimes, I just like being my own person.

[Gretchen12]

Actually it IS a pretty name whether she died or not. Nothing wrong with using a name that you think is pretty. You are emotional and affected right now. You may not be so upset a year from now. You may no longer feel it's relevant to tell your daughter how you got the name, but the name remains pretty.

[Dandelioness]

 

I just made a personal promise that if I ever had a daughter, her name will be Layne Elysse. That's the most beautiful name I've ever heard and it belonged to such a sweet girl that died in such a horrible way.

 

That's one of the most saddest case I've ever heard. Part of me feels as if I'd known the girl but I never did. I'm not even in the USA. She fits the description of the daughter I would be proud of: brave, pretty in every way, kind soul, beautiful name, friendly, outgoing and into sports.

 

I'd question your motive in this. Are you going to share this tragedy to everyone that asks, "How did you come up with this name?"

[littleblackheart]

Are you expecting, OP? It's not clear from your post. If so, how does your partner feel about that name?

 

I had a vague idea of how I wanted to name my potential kids before I got pregnant, then I got pregnant and remembered their father had a say in that too!

 

It's your child in the end, so call your daughter whatever you (and the other parent, if there is one) want.

[dragon_fly_7]

Are you expecting, OP? It's not clear from your post. If so, how does your partner feel about that name?

 

I had a vague idea of how I wanted to name my potential kids before I got pregnant, then I got pregnant and remembered their father had a say in that too!

 

It's your child in the end, so call your daughter whatever you (and the other parent, if there is one) want.

No, I'm not expecting. I was just sharing what I would like to name my child if it's a girl.

 

As regarding what my bf's stance would have been:

He would have probably named a girl Juana or Maria. I don't like them. First it's Spanish and secondly, it's too common.

We did reached a compromise a long while back and it's base on 3 pointers:

- Only English names

- If it's a girl then I can select it

- If it's a boy he wants his name in the English version, which is John Jay

Edited May 20, 2019 by dragon_fly_7