Yet another success for the awkward chap

[Garcon1986]

My thing is I was overjoyed to meet Dutch people because I grew up partly in Holland, and I felt like I was at home. I am surrounded by Southerners who dislike me where I live so it’s difficult to not feel a little resentment against those who made my dating life so difficult. The most I chatted with these women was about their lives, path towards cardiology, and interests. I quite enjoyed the eye contact. I revealed maybe 2 points about myself. I am nervous enough about normal societal impropriety that I know my boundaries on how to flirt. I have my heart set on a extremely intellectual lady - that’s why I keep seeking out professional ladies. I refrained from teaching them anything, just went with the conversational flow.

[chillii]

Yes my very first thoughts about dating were that it was hopeless, that everybody was taken, that nobody would like me, and that my expectations were so distorted by the modern movie scene that I would only be happy with Natalie Portman. I was absolutely despondent in 2012. The chap who coached me was instrumental in getting me up to my current day dating skills; I have him to thank for getting all my dates and relationships.

 

 

 

 

Really well there ya go good for you that's great.

Maybe ZA should give that a go then after all.

[ZA Dater]

I would tend to disagree if I have gotten two dates in a year? Being socially awkward has been a failure for me ever since 2012. I had to shape up or ship out.

 

 

 

Here is a question, are you able to converse easily with people in general or do you find yourself trying to fit into a conversation rather than really leading it? Are you finding that you connect well with people?

 

 

I ask this because based on here, you seem smart and articulate, which can be problematic if you aren't chatting to much the same sort of people.

 

 

As for being awkward, the last few weeks for me have been interesting in the sense I am just embracing that, who really cares actually at the end of the day? You might as well see any opportunity as just that, an opportunity, if I works out, then great but if it doesn't you haven't lost anything.

 

 

A lot of what I have learnt these past weeks is that men allow women to have too much power over them to the extent that even successful daters over compromise in the hope of attracting someone. Why do this to yourself, especially if all your experience are losses.

 

 

When you sit down and think about it logically, they should attempt to impress us but how many actually put in that effort? Clearly you are trying hard to work within this but ask yourself if maybe a more aloof approach sometimes might be better, if you are trying to charm them to assess if this approach is working?

 

 

Well done on the win because it is a good win in my opinion. I had a very successful date, threw down everything I knew but oddly I didn't really felt like I had a win.

[Garcon1986]

The business conference I am currently in is super fun because I grew up with Dutchies, who make me feel warm and fuzzy because I feel like I am stepping back into my childhood having conversations in Dutch.

 

I'm surrounded by people who are almost all smarter than I am in the book smarts department, so I have no problem following their nerdy jokes. I'm overjoyed to be hearing a little Swiss German, a little Dutch, a little Australian English, a little NZ English, and then some British English because that was my life as a small kid. I just partied with some Dutchies and stayed up till 1AM local time and it was amazing. I had the beautiful Dutch women smiling at my jokes.

 

I got so much smarter in the unwritten social rules department this week. I smiled so much better because I was genuinely excited inside and out, and didn't have to pretend. The nurses back where I am living just are not worldly enough to care about what I'm interested in. Hence the best I can do is pretend and be nice. This is like the time I discovered Irish dancing for the first time. It was the most amazing week of the year - and I even made two business connections and a potential job.

[JuneL]

I do think you’ll do well with someone originally from Europe. There’re tons of people with an international background in academia or the medical research field. Not sure how you would find someone who has lived her whole life in Mississippi compatible anyway.

 

See, with the right people, you don’t have to try too hard and come across as comical like Mr Bean

 

At the end of the day, you have a great attitude: you’re neither bitter nor entitled.

Edited June 1, 2019 by JuneL