So much for amends

[Bantosm]

Unknown to me, a friend of mine, decided to try to fix a falling out between me and a woman whom I dated several years ago. I tried several times before but made no progress. My friend's attempt worked.

 

My old girlfriend contacted me and we made our amends. She and I had been communicating via email for about a month. Last week, I wished her a good life and was going to leave it at that because she was planning on starting a family with her boyfriend so there wasn't anything left to say. I accepted that she and I could be friends and apologized and we got back to talking.

 

She mentioned how she felt I didn't really like her. I tried to dispel it but she didn't really want to talk about it. What did she expect me to say considering her situation? We were talking about cooking and then today she blocked me. Anyone make amends only to have it suddenly end?

[d0nnivain]

Your EX may have had some unreasonable expectations. There is an old pop song called I Can't Get Over You Getting Over Me. Maybe she thought you still wanted her back.

 

You got along all these years without her. You built a life. She's trying to have a kid with another guy. Just leave her be.

 

I would have a stern talking to with the meddlesome friend who took it upon themselves to interfere in your life to bring you & this EX back together.

[Foxhall]

I can relate to this although perhaps broken friendships between two guys is slightly different,

 

some event can trigger a reconciliation-in my case a car accident brought about a reconciliation,

 

and the friendship appeared back on track, however all of a sudden my buddy became aloof again for no apparent reason,

 

then if we did meet, I would get comments like "we are back for one night only"

 

and I would be thinking" **** you" to be honest.

 

Anyway,

I wonder did your comment of wishing her good luck annoy her? why did you say that,

I would interpret that as a bit of a fob off and that you were looking to distance yourself again,

 

perhaps your friend took the same view of it.

 

lol, words are a dangerous thing , especially in repairing friendship situations!

[Bantosm]

Your EX may have had some unreasonable expectations. There is an old pop song called I Can't Get Over You Getting Over Me. Maybe she thought you still wanted her back. [/Quote]

I was certainly considering the possibility of a second chance even if I didn't explicitly tell her. When she mentioned her boyfriend she made it seem like he a was temporary issue.

You got along all these years without her. You built a life. She's trying to have a kid with another guy. Just leave her be.

I have no way to contact her now. Besides if she doesn't want to communicate with me for whatever reasons I must respect that decision.

I would have a stern talking to with the meddlesome friend who took it upon themselves to interfere in your life to bring you & this EX back together.

It usually a bad idea for anyone to interfere. In this case, I'm happy they did. Even if I never interact with this former girlfriend again, it was a good to finally clear those past grievances.

 

I can relate to this although perhaps broken friendships between two guys is slightly different,

 

some event can trigger a reconciliation-in my case a car accident brought about a reconciliation,

 

and the friendship appeared back on track, however all of a sudden my buddy became aloof again for no apparent reason,

 

then if we did meet, I would get comments like "we are back for one night only"

 

and I would be thinking" **** you" to be honest.

Reconciliation can be difficult. I've never made a full reconcile except with family and coworkers this was probably my best result.

 

Anyway,

I wonder did your comment of wishing her good luck annoy her? why did you say that,

I would interpret that as a bit of a fob off and that you were looking to distance yourself again,

 

perhaps your friend took the same view of it.

 

lol, words are a dangerous thing , especially in repairing friendship situations!

I got blindsided. I had been emailing her for a week with no mention of her being pregnant. She told my friend who was a complete stranger and my friend ended up telling me when it obvious I had no idea. I was initially interested in the prospect of a second chance when I learned the news there was no play I thought it would best to tell her bye and that was my way to do it.

[Foxhall]

sorry, I took up your post earlier as being a friendship between two women, lol not sure how I managed that!

 

 

so my comment was more directed on that basis,

 

 

yes so obviously it is somewhat different based on a standard dating ex girlfriend scenario.

[The Outlaw]

As I've said before, some people are fickle and don't know what they want or when they want it. I have no idea what she expected you to say if she really didn't want to talk about it. But blocking you out of the blue says a lot. Just move on.

[Bantosm]

As I've said before, some people are fickle and don't know what they want or when they want it. I have no idea what she expected you to say if she really didn't want to talk about it. But blocking you out of the blue says a lot. Just move on.

We are talking again. Evidently her boyfriend blocked me. She said they had previous argument and he retaliated by blocking some of her guy friends.

[Fekenaws]

Not going to lie, your situation is weird. From the involvement of a friend, down to her sudden reaction that you didn't like her. There's a lot to dissect without too much info, but these were my main takeaways:

 

1) You need to talk to your friend and tell him to stay out of your personal life. If you asked him to do this, then it's all good. But otherwise, it was a complete violation of personal space.

 

2) Don't get too invested in the situation. She has a new life ahead of her, and your life is in order. It didn't sound like you wanted to talk to her much anyway, and she probably sensed that in your conversations and decided to pull the plug. No different than exes who pull the plug on "friendships" when they realize their new "friend" (read: former ex) still has feelings for them or wants to escalate back into having sex.

[Orokotikki]

Let exes stay exes man, move forward not back.

She's willing to start something with you while she has a boyfriend?

You really want to line to become her next 'temporary issue'?

You are better off without...

[preraph]

You did make amends, so go forth with that off your conscience. She heard you and you both just need to go on with your lives separately.

[Bantosm]

1) You need to talk to your friend and tell him to stay out of your personal life. If you asked him to do this, then it's all good. But otherwise, it was a complete violation of personal space.

I didn't ask my friend to do it. I understand your opinion and most of the time I would fully agree. In this case, it was the right move. I had nothing to lose had my friend's attempt failed badly. Also, people who are on outside looking in sometimes have a clearer picture of how to fix an issue than those directly involved.

 

Let exes stay exes man, move forward not back.

She's willing to start something with you while she has a boyfriend?

You really want to line to become her next 'temporary issue'?

You are better off without...

I considered a second chance, and her boyfriend wasn't a big concern. Most of the women I dated had a boyfriend when I met them. Now her being pregnant that is a major issue that kills any thought of a second chance.

 

You did make amends, so go forth with that off your conscience. She heard you and you both just need to go on with your lives separately.

That was my original opinion. I effectively told her good bye only to feel like that was a mistake. I think there is benefit to remaining friends with someone after a difficult falling out.

[preraph]

^ remain friends only if one or the other isn't wanting to get back together. Otherwise, it isn't fair or adviseable and can just keep both from succeeding with new people.

[Bantosm]

When communication started up again, I had feeling it was actually her boyfriend so I blocked. I few things still don't make sense. Why would she tell my friend who was a stranger to her that she was pregnant but not me? She mentioned her boyfriend in a way that suggested he was temporary. Why would she block me yet continue to talk with my friend for several weeks about me and her?