futuregopher Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 A little about me - 29 y/o male in NYC. Worked at two previous big companies before for ~4 years after college. Two years at Ernst and Young and two years at a real estate investment firm. So I'm not some type of braindead idiot who had to work at a family biz bc I had no other options. Dad asked if I wanted to join family biz. Didn't want to disappoint my dad so I said sure. Family biz is just my dad, my mom, me and two warehouse workers so small family business. Fast forward 3 years and it's like once every couple or few months there is always a big blow up. My mom and my dad constantly nag me over little BS stuff. Always pointing how something how I could have done something differently. For example, I do XX, dad tells me it should be done YY. The next time, I do it YY just like he says and he says it should be done like XX. HONESTLY WTF. And it's just stupid stuff like I ask him a question and he literally has no recollection of anything. He can't remember a single damn thing! Zero awareness for the guidelines he sets for the biz, yet continues to not follow the guidelines he set him self for the biz. Just ANNOYING. My mom also nags the F out of me. She doesn't know how to do some things on the computer so she needs me to do a lot of that stuff. So here I am doing my tasks and she asks every 15-20 minutes, have you done this for me yet? When it DOESN'T MATTER WHEN IT'S DONE AS LONG AS IT'S DONE BEFORE 4PM (since that's when FedEx and UPS pick up stuff at our warehouse). It just drives me crazy. and it pisses me off. Personal preference stuff and just constant nagging/micro managing me. I worked my ass off at two previous so I'm not some type of lazy brat. I only chose to work here bc my parents have done a lot for me so when they wanted me to help them, I agreed. I am just so sick of their nagging over every little trivial thing that has nothing to do with business and my dad's hypocrisy. It is just so god damn annoying and every few months I can't take it anymore and i just blow up and all three of us have a heated argument. And the thing is THEY REALIZE THEY NEED TO TREAT THE BIZ DYNAMICS MORE LIKE A BIZ INSTEAD OF A FAMILY yet they continue to have zero biz awareness of just stop nagging a human being to drive them crazy. Any input/help would be much appreciated. THANK YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 I'm a braindead idiot who has no other options that works for a family business, so my input probably doesn't matter. But you should quit since you probably have access to your money savings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 I feel your pain, although my circumstances are different. 7 years ago I quit my job to work for my sis/BIL's business full time as an independent contractor. All was great....until it wasn't. It can really, really test your family relationships when things are not going well job-wise, especially if/when feel taken advantage of. Forgiveness is required frequently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 In your place I think sometime when there are no issues irritating any one of you, I'd tell them I want to help them but, then share with them what you just shared with me/us. Tell them you know you could get another great job but you want to be helpful to them. Let them know if they don't stop their annoying behavior then you have no choice but to go work for someone else or begin your own business. Then follow through if they keep their v 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Any input/help would be much appreciated. THANK YOU! The only other person I know in a similar family business dynamic is definitely hemmed in by the father/son relationship. And this is a bright guy in his mid-40's with a Masters in his field who's Dad yells at him at work like he was a disobedient toddler. Might simply be time to strike out on your own. If your parents ask why, I'd give them a filtered version of the truth. Family and business are a tough mix... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Working with family can be like being business partners with a friend. Obviously it's doable but more than not it doesn't work. When people get annoyed with a co-worker they have a chance to get out of the situation when they clock out. Family your kind of stuck with. Family particularly husbands and wives better be the personality type that can separate work and private life spending near 24/7 with. I'm sure there are some here that have seen that tried and failed. You may want reexamine working for your family if you can't find a workable solution. I know you don't want to bruise your relationship with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 I suggest you quit the family business without ruining your relationship with your parents, so not after a blow-up, and go your own way and then tell them you look forward to inheriting the business one day. Like one day when they're not there to micromanage you. And once one of them passes, God forbid, the other will likely need you to step up, but if so, you do it under your own terms, reminding whoever it is you left a lucrative career and are your own man doing things your own way now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 Whoa..that' was quite a rant. I hope you feel a little better after venting that. My family has a business and I never wanted to be part of it because they operate exactly how you described. It's just so much drama and emotion and worry. If it were me, I'd leave and go elsewhere. Lie to them if you have to and tell them you got a much better offer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author futuregopher Posted May 23, 2019 Author Share Posted May 23, 2019 It does feel good to get it off my chest venting to an internet forum But seriously, thank you all for the messages. It does give relevance and perspective to the situation! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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