Ex denied that I paid 50k and more for the house.

[JulieDtd]

I thought the divorce was over and all, but while splitting the profits from selling the house, my ex claimed that I had only paid 800 dollars in cash for it. Which was a horrifying thing for him to say, as he knew I had paid 50k in cash for it. I then went to look at my emails to him regarding my payments, and realised he had deleted all of my emails (i had signed in on his computer before, and didn't think to change my password until now) related to my payments.

 

I was furious, I was disappointed. How did I ever marry a person like that? So anyway, went to the bank, paid hundreds to get statements from that time. And yes, I've now proof that I paid 50k and more (i forgot about some payments I made) for the house, and he's going to have to give me that money back. I hope.

 

Anyway, divorce is really such a long, drawn-out affair, and you really see the true colours of people. I guess i'm just here to rant.

 

So mad, so sad.

[bathtub-row]

I have an expression: You don't know someone until you marry them, but you don't REALLY know them until you divorce them.

 

One of my ex's used to go around telling people all sorts of crap. He even told me once what he said to someone, even though he knew it was a lie. I said to him, "You know, you can lie to anyone you want, but you and I know the truth so don't try to sell your lies to me."

 

Regardless of what your ex is saying or how much you did or didn't put into the house, you both should have equal rights to the house profits.

[Mr. Lucky]

So anyway, went to the bank, paid hundreds to get statements from that time. And yes, I've now proof that I paid 50k and more (i forgot about some payments I made) for the house, and he's going to have to give me that money back. I hope.

 

Going to hope you have a lawyer. And can't help but wonder why counsel isn't pushing this issue for you?

 

Mr. Lucky

[JulieDtd]

I didn't get a lawyer until all these happened. Prior to that, I was amenable to everything he said, just wanted things to be over. But now, I finally hired a lawyer, who is telling me that I have been incredibly gullible and foolish thus far. At least he's keeping me from continuing being dumb haha.

 

My lawyer is getting on top of this, i think it's more my shock at how horrible a person could be.

[BaileyB]

If marriage is about love, divorce is about money.

[Veronica73]

If marriage is about love, divorce is about money.

 

I agree with the above. It is exceedingly sad.

 

Something similar happened to me when I got divorced. I didn’t believe in prenups and I thought I knew my husband and thought that no matter what happened between us, he would never try to take advantage of me. (I went into the marriage with significantly more assets than he had.) Thought he was an honorable man. And I had no plans of ever divorcing. But when we divorced, he tried to get every single penny he could. And in ways that weren’t legal and that he didn’t earn in any way, shape, or form.

 

Doubt that I will ever get married or even live with anyone ever again. Depending on where you live, even if you live with someone for a certain amount of time, that person has the same rights as a spouse.

 

(Edit) He even tried to claim a ring that my mom gave me, that was given to her by my father when I was born. Claimed it was a gift to both of us. Ugh.

Edited May 21, 2019 by Veronica73

[lifeofapirate]

If marriage is about love, divorce is about money.

 

That is often a sad thing. People become monsters over money. Politicians, thieves and ex spouse's dream at night of new ways to get into your pockets!

[preraph]

You should never pay cash for anything you're splitting that you co-own with a spouse or partner. It is common for them to try to say you didn't pay and it's all theirs. Your attorney would have had a real problem is you really had no bank statement to prove you paid. Cash is a quick way to get conned.

[Dandelioness]

Regardless of what your ex is saying or how much you did or didn't put into the house, you both should have equal rights to the house profits.

 

This. Didn't court explain that?

[JulieDtd]

In my country, we have a compulsory savings plan by the government, which directly deducts from our monthly salaries.

 

He was working, I was studying, so I had significantly less in my savings account, while he had more. I had 50 k less to be exact. So i topped up with cash.

 

In other words, we both paid around 110 k each, he paid 90 k with his compulsory savings account, 20 k with cash. I paid 40k with the savings. I topped up with 70k in cash.

 

So initially, we agreed to splitting everything equally. Then we realised that it is compulsory for the money paid from our compulsory savings account to be returned in full. So in other words, he gets 90k back in his account, i get 40k back in mine, and the cash profits are split equally.

 

When I argued that I paid 50k more in cash than he did, to make up for the difference, he got his lawyer to send mine a letter claiming that I paid only 800 dollars in cash for the house. Which is RIDICULOUS.

 

Complicated situation, but now I'm trying to regain in cash what I paid. I'm not asking for more, just what I paid. And he's denying the amount I paid in cash, and the amount I paid in excess of his cash amounts.

[Cinnamon_Girl]

I have an expression: You don't know someone until you marry them, but you don't REALLY know them until you divorce them.

 

 

Isn't that the truth!

 

I had always thought my husband was an honorable person, but when we got divorced, he lied to me over and over again, went back on multiple promises, hid money, totally ripped me off financially, and just left me in a terrible situation.

 

I used to admire and respect him so much, but after all that, I see him as just a scum-bag.

[The Outlaw]

When it comes to money, some people tend to show their true colors. Honor, loyalty, integrity, anything and everything are revealed to be a brilliant lie-a façade when it comes down to it. They're wolves in sheep's clothing. Hopefully he'll have to cash out for this.

[loversquarrel]

That sucks, I know what it's like to have a money grubbing ex spouse. Take your lawyers advice and do as they say. I hope your mistake wasn't a costly one.

[OatsAndHall]

If marriage is about love, divorce is about money.

 

 

Unfortunately, at the end of the day, a divorce ends up being a business transaction. And, the more you own/owe together, the messier it gets. Unfortunately, this is what makes divorce lawyers necessary; pay them to sort through the crap and make sure everything is on "fair".

 

 

I'm so thankful I live in a "50/50" state which makes things much simpler; you split 50% of what you own together and you pay back 50% of what you owe together. Without that in place, I could have gotten saddled with some serious debt that wasn't mine and she could have gotten her hands on my pension. Well, I cashed my pension out the day she got a lawyer; beat the asset freeze.

[Mr. Lucky]

In other words, we both paid around 110 k each, he paid 90 k with his compulsory savings account, 20 k with cash. I paid 40k with the savings. I topped up with 70k in cash.

 

Going to assume you didn't show up at the real estate closing with wrapped bundles of paper currency. Wouldn't there be copies of canceled checks and receipts?

 

Mr. Lucky

[JulieDtd]

I did find bank statements showing that I transferred the cash to him, but I guess now it's to prove that the cash was for the house.

 

I'm pretty sure that could be sorted, I guess I'm just here to rant because I was so shocked he would try to pull that ****, because, i mean, he knows I could trace the money! Not sure if he thought I was really dumb, or if he thought there's no way to trace money that was transferred many years ago, or something.

 

Basically, hoping to get everything sorted out, more here to rant because of the shock/disbelief i felt when he first insisted I only paid 800 for the house.

[Mr. Lucky]

more here to rant because of the shock/disbelief i felt when he first insisted I only paid 800 for the house.

 

Well, since you're divorcing him, going to guess this isn't his first insistence on an alternate reality...

 

Mr. Lucky

[OatsAndHall]

I did find bank statements showing that I transferred the cash to him, but I guess now it's to prove that the cash was for the house.

 

I'm pretty sure that could be sorted, I guess I'm just here to rant because I was so shocked he would try to pull that ****, because, i mean, he knows I could trace the money! Not sure if he thought I was really dumb, or if he thought there's no way to trace money that was transferred many years ago, or something.

 

Basically, hoping to get everything sorted out, more here to rant because of the shock/disbelief i felt when he first insisted I only paid 800 for the house.

 

 

As someone stated, you can truly get to know how chitty a person can be when you divorce them. I truly had no idea what my ex-wife was capable of until we separated and divorced. And, that is a statement that has been echoed by her own family and friends.

[JulieDtd]

You're right! Everyone is right, about how you don't know someone until you divorce them.

 

I divorced him because he said he didn't want kids, and he had the same dreams about having a charitable farm etc. Then we got married and he said he lied, was hoping to change my mind after.

 

But still, this post-divorce thing is shocking. I would have thought that anyone would try to preserve some dignity? You may get away with being an ass to your ex, but you have to live with yourself. I don't understand how he could sink so low, and be so unreasonable. And yet be able to look himself in the mirror every day.