Constantly feel like an outcast everywhere?

[I'veseenbetterlol]

I'm not someone who hates human interaction, just someone that overanalyzes everything I say, how I act etc. I have never had many friends and always struggle to make friends. This makes me feel as though I'm some kind of a weirdo. Yes I've volunteered, done lots of social activities, but still have the feeling of being different. Is there something wrong w/me?

[basil67]

Someone being normal - as opposed to having 'something wrong with them' is a spectrum. Have you ever done a quiz on autism spectrum disorder? You may find you tick a lot of boxes but wouldn't get a diagnosis. Or your may simply be who you are.

 

Have a look at this one https://www.wired.com/2001/12/aqtest/

[Veronica73]

There’s nothing wrong with being different (or weird). How old are you? I am definitely different, AND weird. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found it easier to find people who appreciate, and value me. And they are incredibly loyal and kind to me. And even appreciate my uniqueness. And I’ve held onto friends for a long time. I have a small circle of friends. But I think they are strong friends and they are people I truly admire for various reasons.

 

I used to REALLY over analyze social interactions and it kind of paralyzed me. I’d lay awake at night second guessing everything I said or did and feeling horrible about everything. I ended up seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist and he modeled more accepting behavior of myself. Showed me that I was my own worst enemy and that I was more critical of myself than most people were. It helped a ton.

 

It can be harder to make friends if you are different. But I think if you are a decent person, you will make them. It just might take more time. Or if for some reason you are unaware of “normal” people’s cues/language for whatever reason, that is probably something that can be learned.

Edited May 21, 2019 by Veronica73

[Foxhall]

Just to simplify it do not worry so much about what other people think of you,

 

 

this tends to lend itself to overanalysing,

 

 

just go with the flow take part in things that you enjoy, say whatever comes into your head, if you get a few odd looks don't worry about it, carry on,

 

 

You will find people you click with then as you go along.

[The Outlaw]

No, because I'm the same way. I work around a lot of different people and most of the time, I'm solely focused on my job, and nothing else. I'll speak to people or when spoken to, but not too much. When I get to know people better, I ease up and will carry on lengthy conversations depending on how much time I feel I have to do so.

[d0nnivain]

It's a little bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. If you can have a peppier self talk before you enter a situation -- say to yourself I'm going to have fun -- it may help you see the good & gloss over anything not so good. You know, become a glass half full person.

[I'veseenbetterlol]

It's a little bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. If you can have a peppier self talk before you enter a situation -- say to yourself I'm going to have fun -- it may help you see the good & gloss over anything not so good. You know, become a glass half full person.

 

I'm not against people contact, just feel like I need to analyze everything. Then again my parents telling me how terrible I was at socializing didn't help either.

[d0nnivain]

My parents told me I was bad at a lot of things that it turns out I'm actually competent at. Parents -- especially negative ones -- don't know everything.

 

Socializing & the ability to network effectively are learned skills. Study up. You can become competent at this even if it takes effort & is not your favorite thing.