towch Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 This happened months ago, February I think but I from time to time think about it. I need you guy's perspective on this. Girlfriend starts working out at this gym. One day she comes back from from the gym, she is with her phone and makes a comment about some guy at the gym texting about working out together and that it is annoying. I ask her why the hell she would give someone her at the gym. She tell me that he kept following her from equipment to equipment and then he started talking to her. She gave him her number so that he would cool off and that she intended to block his number afterwards. I is not registering in my head my she could not just say no and be firm. Or tell him she had a boyfriend and it would not be appropriate. But as usual, trust her and let it go as one of her weird ways of handling things. Why am I still being trigger by this event you ask??? Well last month she had a day off work. I came back home earlier than she expect which happened to be the same time she came back from where she went "She didn't tell me, we talk here and there while we work". I happen to meet her in the bathroom. At this point did not know she had be out (she has this weird look in her eye), I said to myself, "that is a strange glaze" but I brush it off because hell I don't have a reason to think anything. Her breathe smells of alcohol, I ask her if she had been out. She tell me she met her friend Michelle for lunch and they had drinks, I replied cool and that was that. I found out days later that due to a hiccup on her end that wherever she was that day, it was not with her friend Michelle. I confront her sure that she was at the very least doing something I would not approve. Long story short she claims that she was alone and that she only said she was with a friend because she didn't want me to judge her. In my head i was like "WOW", where the hell does she get this notion that I would not approve of her having a drink by herself on her they off. I could careless if she had one or ten drinks as long as she was responsible and able to handle it. The lie didn't make sense to me and still does not. She apologized for lying. What do you guys make of this. As far as I know or think, nothing is going on. Your thoughts... Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted May 23, 2019 Share Posted May 23, 2019 Sounds like she was cheating with that guy at the gym tbh. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Anytime someone lies for absolutely no good reason ... or let me restate it ... anytime someone lies and gives a convoluted, twisted logic to explain the lie (as in lying about going out with a friend) ... then yes, that's a red flag. Major red flag. It's also a red flag (and you caught this one, it seems) that she didn't have the strength to say "no" to the guy at the gym. If you're dating someone who can't say "no" to others, you are in danger. The relationship will have no foundation. BTW: my point holds even if she didn't cheat on you with this guy. I mean if she can't say no, then every few guys who asks ... she's gonna say yes ... Half of a good relationship is walling off troubling outsiders. So yes, major red flags in both cases. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Couple of things: Initially you asked why your GF wouldn't be straight with the guy at the gym & just say No if she wasn't interested. It has to do with socialization. Girls are taught not to be direct & not to hurt people's feelings. So some young ones do this nonsense where they appease people which gives them wrong impressions. As you posted more to the story, it appears your GF may be less trust worthy then you think. She didn't give this guy at the gym her # to appease him. She gave it to him because she wanted him to have it. If he was just a workout buddy, there would be no need for outside communication. They could work out when they saw each other & carry on if the other wasn't there. Now you find out your GF lied to you about her whereabouts. Big red flag. Unfortunately she covered up the 1st lie (she was with Michelle) with a 2nd lie (she was alone. Have you ever known your GF to go out drinking by herself? Most women don't. Odds are she was on a date with the guy from the gym. Time for you to check her text & call history. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 Sorry friend but there's enough red flags in your post to stampede a herd of Spanish bulls. This is the first time I have ever heard of any woman giving someone their real cell number to get rid of them, just does not happen, phony number maybe but not their real one. Women give their numbers to men they expect to hear from. Women don't usually go to bars to drink by themselves, they do that at home where it's safe. My guess is you won't find a charge against a credit card or a debit card for her purchase that day. She knows your on to her so she's probably scrubbed her phone clean. Do you have access to her phone statements, check to see who she called that day, specially before her outing. Check her frequently called numbers and check for any new girlfriends she's added, they often hide a man under a woman's name. She is lying to your face to protect her behavior, liars make poor relationship partners. You have enough information to decide if a relationship with her is what you really want. The onus is on her to prove to your satisfaction that there is nothing going on with anyone including the guy from the gym. Your being played my friend. If they can lie to you they can do a lot worse to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 Well I've got some good news and some bad news...ill give you the bad news first- She's cheating on you. And for the good news- You aren't married to her. Get rid of her as there is no longer any reason to keep wasting your time with such a person. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 29, 2019 Share Posted May 29, 2019 if it doesn't feel right, then it's not.....if she is keeping things a secret she knows she shouldn't be doing it. She's meeting up with this guy. I don't think you need anymore proof than what you have there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 I found out days later How did you find out? Your thoughts... She's cheating. And she's a liar. Dump her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts